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Subject: {ASSM} Lap Dancer by Katie McN  (Lesbian FF rom M+F NC viol  hum)
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Lap Dancer

By Katie McN <>

(c) Copyright 2003, Katie McN

This story stands alone, but it is part of a series.  "A
Letter to Vanessa" and "Mallory" are the first two episodes.


There are lots of ways for a flashy blonde to make money in
Tampa, but a drug problem reduces the choices to just a few.
When cocaine smiled at me, I smiled back.  When she grabbed me
by the soul, I became her slave.

"Martinez, I need something bad.  You've got to help me out

"I don't got to do nothing, Mary Kay.  You the dumb cunt who
couldn't get her ass out of bed and now you got no job.  Hey,
bitch, it's not my fucking problem, you know what I mean?"

"I'm starting work someplace else in a couple of days.  Give
me a G for now and I'll pay you back as soon as I start

"You was all right when you was only chipping, baby, but now
you're too fucking high maintenance and you sure ain't no

When I arrived in Tampa, I'd been on the road four months
trying to forget the person I left behind.  Someone who took
three years to die.  Someone who only cried once or twice, not
like me who cried every time I was alone.  When she couldn't
work, I stopped, too.  When she went to the hospital, I spent
my waking hours at her side.  Our attorney gave me the paper
she signed and said a hospital might let me make a decision.
When the doctor told me she was brain dead I was strong and
knew what I had to do.  She loved the ocean and wanted to be
there forever.  I threw her ashes into the Pacific and when I
got back home I wasn't strong anymore.

I made a lot of money selling our home but had to use most of
the cash to pay Mallory's hospital bills.  I was left with
ten-thousand dollars and a classic 1964 Jaguar named Chester.
I went off on a pilgrimage, just me and Chester, trying to

The journey started when we left Los Angeles and it didn't
take long before Chester roared across the California-Arizona
border.  Straight highway and no police.

Mallory loved songs by the Eagles and I decided to find out
what they saw from that corner in Winslow, Arizona.  My mother
never wanted to meet the woman I loved and I thought it was
time to show Mallory's spirit the West Texas town where I grew
up.  Four years earlier Mallory pretended to get mad at me for
flashing my tits at Mardi Gras so I took her memories to that
same street corner in New Orleans and flashed an early-morning
delivery guy.  I went to Gallatin, Tennessee and visited
Mallory's cousin.  He said he'd get me a job and help with a
place to stay.  I left when he tried to put his hand down my
blouse.  I met our friends in New York City.  We drank vodka
and ate fish eggs in the Russian Tea Room.  I went to Virginia
Beach and remembered the day she laughed at the tiny waves
that plinked against the sand.

I did other things like getting drunk, smoking dope, doing
ups, downs and some sideways if I couldn't find what I needed.
I finally ran out of map and decided it was time to settle

Martinez wasn't the ugliest man I'd ever seen, but he was a
close second or third.  A gold tooth set off his pocked-marked
face and he'd need to stand on a box if he wanted to look me
in the eye.  Even so a dopeman can have his choice from all
the girls who need a taste.  He liked blondes with big butts
and this one still looked fresh.

"Don't ruin my birthday party, Martinez."

Ashley thought it was a two-way relationship and Martinez
didn't seem to care she was running her mouth in front of
fifteen or twenty of his friends.

"Sorry, baby, but this is business.  Let me get rid of the

"Wait a minute, maybe this can be business and pleasure."

I stood there waiting while she whispered something in his ear
and watched his expression change from pissed-off to happy.

"Ashley thinks I should help you out, Mary Kay.  Something to
get you back on your feet.  So if I help you, I know you won't
mind doing something for me.  Yah, you can be the
entertainment and if you do good I give you some shit to keep
you going a couple days; you know what I mean, Chica?"

"No, Martinez, why don't you spell it out."

I didn't have a clue where this was going, but I could tell
from the look on Ashley's face I wasn't going to like the

"Ashley, you tell her the idea.  It's your present."

She decided to make me wait while she adjusted the hem on her
silk dress and pretended to be searching for those just-right
words.  She was shorter than Martinez and had a figure that
was trying to bust out of her skin-tight dress.  I have nice-
size breasts, but felt small when I saw what she had to offer.
This was the first time I'd met Ashley and I already hated
her, but the coke was more important than making a statement.
I waited to hear what she had to say.

"If you're willing to do three little things, you can party
here all night.  We got plenty of what you need."  She pointed
at a mound of coke in a bowl on the nearby table.

"What do I have to do, Ashley?"  I wanted to get it over with
and thought it didn't matter what the three things were, as
long as I was stoned right after I did them.

Before Ashley could talk, Martinez cut her off and said, "Yah,
yah, you do this stuff and I'll front you a couple grams until
you start your new job.  You'll be straight, but you better do
things right.  You know what I mean?"

Ashley looked like a cat getting ready to play with a mouse.
She gave me a weird smile and said, "Let's see, I have this
fantasy about watching a girl do some things."

"What do you have in mind, Ashley?"  She was making me wait,
making me squirm, making me suffer.

"No big thing.  A girl like you must have done a lot of stuff
so this will be easy."

I could tell by the way she talked she was slamming me and I
knew I'd find out how bad things were going to get soon

"You're a dancer so the first part is easy.  I want you to
dance and be real sexy.  Take your time and end up wearing
nothing but your high heels."

"What are the other two things?"

"Oh no, it'll ruin the secret if I tell you.  Don't worry, you
can do them, no sweat."

The people in the room had stopped talking and I knew they
were waiting to see if I'd be willing to undress.  Someone put
a CD on the player and turned up the sound.  I'd been
stripping at a club in downtown Tampa and was used to taking
my clothes off in public.  I don't know why, but I felt
embarrassed doing it for Ashley and her friends.  It didn't
make sense.  A soul thief, pure and white, had crawled under
my skin and took control.  My dignity was an easy price to pay
for her comfort, a very easy price.  I danced in time to the
music and tried to will my mind to some other place.

My hands moved slowly on my breasts, across my tummy, over my
hips and down my legs.  I could look sexy even if I didn't
feel that way.  The people in the crowd were getting into my
dance and I heard the same lewd remarks I heard at the club
where I worked."

"Take you' time, Mary Kay.  We want a show or else it's no

Ashley seemed to know I was embarrassed and she was enjoying
watching me suffer.  I decided she could go fuck herself and I
got lost in the music.

I pulled my dress up the length of my thigh.  I heard some guy
shout out, "Show us more of them red panties, baby.  Show us
what the fuck you got."

The dress fell from my fingers and I made them wait to see
more.  The party crowd went wild when I bent over, arched my
back and moved my ass real slow.  Most of the guys were
Latinos and let me know they liked what I was doing.  "Shake
that thing, puta.  Show papi what you got."

I straightened up and let my new fans watch me pull the zipper
down the back of my dress.  By the time my zipper was opened
to my butt, the crowd could see I wasn't wearing a bra.  I
turned around and instead of dropping my top, I held it up
with my hand and pulled my arm out of one sleeve.  When it was
free I did the same with the other arm.  I was holding up the
front of my dress  by squeezing my breasts and pretending I
was turned-on.  I let my audience check out the sides of my
breasts first and moved my hands down until they could see the
rose color that marked the top of my areolas.  I could feel
the anticipation as I touched and caressed myself.  I teased
the front of my dress until my tits were almost on display.  I
was sure everyone was watching to see when I'd show my
nipples.  The crowd cheered when I let the front fall down to
my hips.  My red thong was visible and the onlookers
encouraged me to take it all off.

I took some time to play with my boobs and ran my hands up and
down my hips.  The dress looked like it was ready to fall off,
but somehow it stayed around my hips long enough for me to do
some slow bumps and grinds.  The wild shouting that filled the
room told me I was doing things right.

When I gave my dress a push it dropped to the floor to the
sounds of applause.  I could feel eyes tracking on my tits, my
ass and the tiny red satin triangle covering my pussy.

"Show us your pussy.  Show us you pussy, now."

There's an art to taking panties off for an audience.  I eased
one side of my thong down an inch or two and moved the other
side down until my pubic hair peeked out above the red satin
and lace that hid my pussy.  I turned around and bent over
again.  Everyone could watch me slide my thong down and
uncover my ass.  I kept my ass moving and could tell a lot of
people liked what they saw.

"Oh, mama, I'm fuckin' in love."

When I thought they'd seen enough of my butt, I stood up and
turned around quick enough to bounce my tits.  I wiggled my
ass and the thong slipped down my hips and the crowd could see
the tiny patch of hair on my mons highlighting my shaved
pussy.  I kept moving and felt the thong drop lower and lower.
Finally, I got it to fall all the way down to the floor and I
was able to use my foot to slide the thong off one leg.  I put
the other leg on the edge of a chair and the guy sitting there
finished stripping me.  I stood up wearing four-inch heels and
nothing else.  I moved away before the guy holding my thong
could grab my ass.

I danced around some more and made sure everyone got a good
look at what I had to offer.  When the music stopped I found
myself standing in front of Ashley and I was completely nude.

"That was hot, Mary Kay, and you're going to be happy you were
so sexy when you find out what the next little thing is."

Ashley was checking out my body like she was one of the boys.
She wet her lips with her tongue and took her time moving her
gaze from my feet to my face with stops in between at my pussy
and tits.

"I want you to stay close to me for the next part so I can
watch what you do."

Martinez decided it was time to add something to the

"Holy shit, Mary Kay, too bad Ashley's here 'cause I could
think of some good ways for you to pay for your coke, baby."

"Stop it, Martinez, I'm all the woman you need."

She pretended to slap him, but I could tell she enjoyed
watching me stand there naked with all the guys making remarks
about my body and what they wanted to do with me.

"Okay, we need Jumbo for the next part."

Jumbo was Martinez' bodyguard.  His size made up for what he
lacked in intellect.  He had to be 6' 6" and must have weighed
well over 300 pounds.  He stood next to Ashley and was trying
to hide his erection by holding his hands in front of his

"Don't worry about your hard-on, Jumbo," she said.  "I'm sure
you're not the only guy pushing out the front of his pants.
Mary Kay is a babe and making her strip to her skin is enough
to get everybody going."

Even if I liked guys, which I mostly don't, Jumbo wouldn't be
on my list of favorites.  It wasn't only that he was big and
dumb: he had scars all over his face and arms.  It looked like
he'd been in one too many knife fights.  He was missing some
teeth and had trouble focusing his eyes.  He was the kind of
nightmare that belonged in a dark alley.

"As everyone can see, you got poor Jumbo hard as a rock, Mary
Kay, and it's your job to do something about it.  Why don't
you kneel down and suck him off?"

I stood there and checked to see if I had any dignity left.
Before I could find out for sure, Martinez said, "On your
knees, bitch.  You suck my boy off or it's your ass."

I dropped to my knees and unzipped Jumbo's pants.  One of the
guys pushed forward to get a better look.  "She's going to do
it.  The bitch is going to do it.  All right, Jumbo, stuff her
mouth, man.  Go for it, vato.  Give her the big one."

His cock felt warm to my touch and after a struggle, I finally
was able to free Jumbo Junior from its hiding place.  I
decided to get it over with fast.  I sucked hard on the end of
his cock and used my hand to start jacking him off.  I used my
other hand to tease his balls and had him moaning like a baby
in less than a minute.  He thrust his body into my face and I
gagged when I felt his cock press on the back of my throat.
My head moved with him until I got into his rhythm.  I let a
finger wander from his balls to the sensitive place behind his
package.  When I pretended I was going to push my finger into
his asshole, his cock exploded into my mouth.  It must have
been some time since he'd gotten off because I almost choked
on the flood of sperm.  I sucked him dry and somehow was able
to swallow almost all his hot jism.  He pulled away and
stepped off to hide his pride and joy.

"Mary Kay, you really know how to suck.  I bet all the boys
wish they were Jumbo." She seemed to enjoy watching me try to
clean a speck of cum from my face.  "Now stand here in front
of me and spread your legs.  I want a good look at your

She let her finger wander through the little patch of hair
above my pussy.  Then she let her hand trail down to the bare
skin under the little clump marking my private area.  I
reacted when her fingers touched my pussy lips and I tried to
move away.

"Oh, you've done so good up till now.  Don't screw up on the
last little thing.  All you have to do is stand there, Mary
Kay, stand still and let me play."

Ashley was trying to act like a young girl, but I knew I was
being punished for the way Martinez was looking at my body.

She let her fingers caress my pussy and moved them gently over
my sensitive skin.  It was hard to explain why I was turned on
by the things that were happening.  When Ashley touched me, I
felt myself start to lose control.  Her fingers had me moving
and squirming.

Her fingers explored my slit.  She applied some pressure with
her middle finger and I felt it slide into my wet pussy.  She
moved her hand to and fro with her finger sliding deep into my
hidden place.  She kept going until I felt my juices splash on
my inner thighs.

When she heard my tiny moan, she let another finger join the
fun and soon had two digits exciting the inside of my pussy
with two others moving over my engorged labia.  She rubbed the
palm of her hand on my erect clit and teased it as she
explored the secrets of my womanhood.  I found myself
involuntarily moving against her and getting into a groove
when she suddenly closed her hand and pulled me toward her
with the two fingers she had buried in my cunt.

I was next to her chair when she started up again.  This time
she didn't tease, she moved her hand relentlessly in and out
between my legs.  Her other hand slipped behind me and
squeezed my butt cheeks.  She was able to get a finger near my
asshole.  I felt myself getting ready to explode and hoped my
orgasm would be quiet.  When I was ready to cum, she stopped.

"You really like this.  Do you want some more?"

I opened my mouth to respond, but she didn't wait.  She just
laughed and started in again.  It didn't take as long for me
to lose control the second time.  She brought me close to
orgasm but again stopped before I came.  She did this three
more times until I was ready to crawl out from under my skin.

"Now if you say please, I'll finish you off.  Say 'please',
Mary Kay."

"Please finish me off, Ashley."  For some reason when she made
me ask to be humiliated I felt a lot worse.

When her fingers moved I started moaning.

"Okay, boys, keep your eyes on the bitch.  She's getting ready
to do something."

When she finished talking my body shivered and I felt an
orange explosion rip through my brain and take control of my
body.  I could smell my cum as it dripped down my leg and
coated her hand.  I could hear my scream merge with the noise
from the crowd of people who were watching Ashley get me off.
I heard the applause and knew I'd be the talk of the town.

Ashley seemed pleased with herself.  She was able to humiliate
and degrade me in front of the people at her birthday party
and make me look small in front of Martinez.  I thought she
was finished until she said, "Now you run right over to the
coke bowl, Mary Kay, and have as much as you can snort.  You
can party all night as long as you don't put your clothes back

"Why can't I put my clothes on, Ashley?"

"The guys seem to like looking at you so why not give them
something to see?  You cover up and you have to leave."

I didn't argue and went over to the mound of coke where I laid
out four big lines.  I found a straw and snorted all four and
laid out a couple more.  I was beginning to feel the first
hits while I was doing the second lines and realized it was
the best coke I'd ever had.

The rest of the night was hazy.  I know I did a lot of coke
and my naked body encouraged some guys to explore my wares.  I
remember hands touching me everywhere and people trying to put
their fingers in my pussy and my asshole.  Kisses and bites.
Crude words and humiliation.  I struggled and tried to keep
them away but I was loaded and couldn't put up much

I remember being pushed face down over the arm of the couch
with my ass sticking up in the air.  I tried to get up when I
felt someone separating my butt cheeks, but I couldn't move.
I was being ripped open by the cock that forced its way into
my backside.

"Hurry up, Chavo, my turn next."

"She got more than one hole, let me in there, too."

"The bitch is tight, man.  Wait till you feel her ass.  It's
like a pillow, man."

I think I got fucked in the ass more than once.  I couldn't
count how many times I got fucked.  I gave some guy a blow job
to keep him out of my other places.  I remember seeing Ashley

I remember her laughing.

A lot more must have happened because every part of my body
was sore when I woke up in a strange pace.  It took me a few
seconds to realize I was on the couch in my dope dealer's
apartment.  My morning depression told me I'd done a lot of
coke, not that I needed a reminder.  I was trying to find my
clothes and thinking about doing another line when Ashley came
into the room.

"You were the hit of my eighteenth birthday party, Mary Kay.
I never saw a girl handle so much action.  The guys loved

I didn't need to hear any of that.  "Where are my clothes?'

"I think someone must have taken your thong, but here's your
dress.  It's messed up because it's been on the floor all
night, but at least you'll be covered when you go home."

Messed up meant my dress was rolled up in a ball and soaked in
beer.  I was sure my neighbors would love watching me try to
sneak into my apartment wearing that outfit.

"Here's a couple of grams and some advice.  If I find you
fucking my man, I'll kill you.  You understand?"

"I understand Ashley and don't worry, I'm not interested in
Martinez.  I just want to leave."

"Hey, Mary Kay, time to wake up and go to work."

"Leave me alone, Vernae, I want to sleep in today."

I'd been working at my new job for a couple of months, but it
seemed like I'd always been there.  Days never changed.  Make
enough money to buy drugs.  Do enough drugs to forget how I
get paid.  Never have enough money.  Always too much day.

"Why don't you call the club and tell them I'm sick."

"Now get your ass out the bed, and get moving girl.  You got
to make some money to pay your part of the rent."

Vernae was a dancer and worked with me at the club.  She was a
Tampa native and knew her way around town.  Dancing was not
the only thing we had in common.  We both used coke to ease
the pain and made enough money dancing to pay for our
lifestyle.  Neither one of us was much into men.  Not an
unusual attitude for nude dancers who get to see men at their
worst.  In our case, however, not caring for men wasn't a
problem since we both liked women.  We'd been sharing the same
bed since two days after we met.  I wouldn't say I was in
love, but a lot was going on under the sheets.

I was still the new girl, and low seniority put me on the day
shift.  Vernae worked days too because she did some out-call
work at night.

"Now we better take two cars today because I'm doing some
party work for Mr. Silk.  He got some boy coming from out of
town and he say the man like brown sugar.  I'll be making good
money telling a white boy how much he do it for me."

"Why are you taking chances, Vernae.  You could get your ass
hurt or worse, baby."

"I got a project in mind," Vernae said.  "I need some money
and I'm not getting nowhere dancing at the club."

"What's your project? You didn't tell me you had something
going on."

"I'm not talking till I got the money.  You're gonna be
surprised, baby.  Yes, indeed."

I looked at the clock radio and noticed we were up an hour
early.  I knew what waking up early meant.  Vernae never asked
for sex.  She expected me to know when she wanted to make love
and pouted if I missed the signs.  Waking me up an hour early
was a sign.

She had a pillow behind her back and was sitting up in bed.  I
could see the curves of her slender body from her waist to her
perfect breasts.  Not a bad way to start my day.

"Hey, you're not wearing any clothes, Vernae."

"Don't be silly.  You know I only wear a smile to bed."

"Are you sure?  Let me check."

I moved close and put my hand on her bare tummy.  I let my
hand slide under the covers and into the patch of hair I found
waiting for me.  When my hand moved lower I could tell the
things she'd been thinking about before she woke me up.

"Nope, nothing here but this wet stuff.  What do you call
these -- tasty fixin's?"

"Now, Mary Kay, don't get me started or we'll be in bed all

"If I was trying to get you started, I'd rub my tits on you
like this." I pressed my chest against her arm and moved back
and forth and let her feel my hard nipples slide over her
smooth skin.  I moved closer and let my other hand slide
behind her neck.

"Now if I was really trying to start something I'd probably
kiss you like this."

"Watch what you're doing, girl.  You keep that up and we'll be
in bed all day."

She pretended she wanted me to stop after the first kiss.  She
didn't try all that hard and we were soon wrapped in each
other's arms.  Her breasts were pressed against mine and her
mouth seemed to suck my tongue into her warmth.  I could feel
her try to slide off her pillow and when she was on her back,
I let my leg slip over one of hers.

"You white girls sure are pushy, my, my."

"Less talk and more action, Vernae.  It's your turn to give me
a kiss."

I was up on my elbows looking down at her face.  Our breasts
were touching and I was able to grind my pussy on her leg.  I
could feel the soft thrust of her sex as she met my advances.
She pulled my head to her face and we kissed.  Her hand moved
down my back and pressed my ass into her body.  She arched her
back when I sprinkled her with tiny kisses and covered her
face and neck and shoulders with presents from my lips.  Her
hands were busy under the covers and seemed to find all my
favorite places.

The blankets were pushed aside and I raised up to get a better
look at her body.  Long and slender legs.  Graceful arms.
Curves, beautiful breasts, soft shoulders, silky chocolate

"You're my baby.  Yah, stay in bed all day."

"Good idea," I said.

I wanted to touch everywhere, but settled for kisses on her
lips, her neck, her breasts and tummy.  I kissed my way back
to her mouth and lifted her up and placed her on the diagonal
of our bed.  I looked at her beauty and said, "I need more
hands and arms and legs.  I want to touch you everywhere.

I turned my body so I could see her legs.  I pushed them open
and kissed her inner thighs.  My lips teased up toward her
pussy, but I stopped short of that goal and kissed my way down
the length of her other thigh.  She moaned when I failed to
give her what she wanted.

I moved my leg over her head until it rested on the other side
of her body.  I felt her hand pull my hips back toward her
face and I adjusted myself until her tongue was touching my
wet pussy.

Her clit was hard and I pretended to try and suck it into my
mouth.  My head shook back and forth gently playing with the
tiny vixen that causes women so much trouble.  My nose was
close to her slit and I could smell her heat.  I let my teeth
nibble the length of her slit and touched her asshole with my
tongue.  I could feel her writhing and moving under me.

Her tongue was busy on my clit teasing me relentlessly.  She
wasn't playing now and I found it difficult to concentrate on
what I was trying to do.  I felt a hand stroke my lower back
and another  explored the curves of my ass.  I loved hearing
her noises and she seemed to be echoing my own sounds.
Breathing hard, skin glistening, bodies moving together.

The first time women go to bed, they worry about doing things
right.  Sometimes there's too much talking, too much worry,
too much thinking about pleasing the other person.  After
awhile those thoughts fade away.  Love can get boring or love
can be wonderful.  Our sex was more than wonderful and seemed
to get better each time we made love.

"Hold me tight baby, I'm going to come.  Mary Kay, Mary Kay,
Mary Kay.  Oh, ooh.  OOOH."

Hearing her scream out my name did something to my mind and
when I felt her lips back on my pussy, my own orgasm took
control.  I was able to keep my face pressed against her pussy
and taste the juices from the lust she had for me.  An
explosion of the sweet and warm.

We stayed like that until our bodies got past the shock and
then cuddled under the covers, touching, petting and little

"I love you, Mary Kay.  You're so good for me."

"I love you, too, sweetie.  How about a little kiss?"

"Lay out some lines for us Mary Kay.  I need something to help
me forget I'm getting out the bed to leave you for some
asshole guy with a slave fantasy."

We both did a few lines and I stuck small bottles of powder
into our purses.  Now we could make it through the day.

"Okay, Mary Kay, you're up next."

The manager told me it was my turn to dance.  The stage wasn't
big, just enough room for two or three girls.  During the day,
one girl danced on stage and the rest walked around looking
for someone who wanted a lap dance.

He said, "The suits drinking beer seem to be tipping pretty
good, but watch out 'cause they got their hands going on big
time." I was hoping to make some tips.

Each girl spent ten minutes dancing before she was replaced by
the next in rotation.  There was no point wasting time being
coy.  I usually wore a transparent top, bikini panties and
stacked high heels.  The shoes made me taller than most guys
in the club and for some reason they liked looking up at me.

I was wearing nothing but shoes thirty seconds into the first
song.  I moved around the stage and made sure all the guys got
a good look at my tits and ass.  I had my hair down and let it
cover my nipples so I could hear the boys beg.

Guys who come to strip clubs during the day aren't as loud and
boisterous as their night time counter parts.  A lot of them
are drunks who pretend they are checking out the babes while
they get wrecked.  Some guys are addicted to the scene.  There
are other reasons, but I didn't care much what they were as
long as no one ran out of money.

"Hey, bitch, show us your pussy."

My pubic hair was trimmed and I used Jolene to give it a
blonde look.  For some reason guys loved to discover I was a
'natural' blonde and I made sure they had the chance.

"Get that money maker in front of my face.  Let's see what you

I wondered if the asshole talked to his wife like he was
talking to me.  I saw the dollar on the stage near where he
was sitting and danced over to pick up the money.  For a
dollar, I'd squat down until I could lean back and put my
hands on the stage.  When I was secure, I'd move my ass around
and the guy who made the donation could try to check out my
tonsils by looking up my pussy.  I'd do more if I saw a bigger

"Goddam, you got a hot pussy and I know what you need to fill
it up.  Here's something for you, baby.  Come and get it."

The guy was holding a five and looked like he knew what he
wanted for his money.  I got up and moved over to where he was
sitting.  He was breaking the rules by putting his beer bottle
on the stage, but the bouncer didn't seem to care and I didn't

"You get the five if you make my beer taste better."

When I first started dancing in a club I wondered why a guy
would spend so much money just looking and maybe think he was
getting lucky when a girl rubbed her tits in his face or
ground her ass into his crotch.  A guy could drive around the
corner and pick up a girl who'd do him in his car.  She could
get his rocks off for less and still get him home in time for

After awhile I understood the game.  Guys hardly ever come to
strip clubs by themselves.  If they do it's because they
pretend they're dating a dancer even though they pay for every
minute of her time.  Guys usually come together and try to see
who can do what to the girls.  They're playing a game where
they show their buddies an ordinary guy can make a hot girl do
anything, no matter how gross.  The fact that it costs them
every time they come up with a new idea is not important.  I
imagined they'd be talking about their times at the strip club
for weeks: Remember how Billy made the girl do this and Jack
made the girl do that?

Yah, yah.  I stay loaded and don't much care as long as Billy
and Jack keep handing me money.

"I know what you need, big boy."

I picked up the beer and squatted down just like I did when I
was getting ready to show a guy my pussy.  I only used one
hand to hold myself up and the other one to run the beer
bottle up and down my slit.  My pussy lips opened and he got
the idea my juices were now on the mouth of his bottle.  When
I thought he'd seen enough I got up and handed him his long
neck.  I kept my legs spread enough so he could see my pussy
winking at him.  I wiggled my tits in case he might have some
bright ideas for later on and danced off to find more trouble.

I keep my money in a plastic glass near the back of the stage.
I was only doing so-so and wishing for a high roller.

One of the suits must have been inspired by my wish and called
me over.  I saw the bill wrapped around his first finger.  I
couldn't tell the denomination, but knew it was probably big,
based on how he was holding his money.

"Can you read the two numbers on this bill, little blue-eyed

Most people in my line of work can read the numbers 5 and 0
even if they never went to school.  I noticed he wasn't more
than 5' 7" which made me two inches taller than him even
without my four-inch stacks.  The only thing I cared about was
the $50 and whatever he was thinking was his business.

"Looks like you got a fifty there, big boy.  What are you
going to do with it?"

"I'm going to put the money in your hand if you'll do
something for me."

"What do you have in mind, baby?"

I had a good idea what he wanted and it turned out I wasn't
wrong.  There are some guys who get off watching girls stuff
things into their pussies.  I'm not sure why this is, but I've
made a bunch of money playing their game.

"I'm not supposed to do this, but anything for you, big boy.
Don't make a scene or the bouncers will come over"

"Go for it, bitch, I understand."

I squatted down like I was getting ready for a pussy shot, but
instead of leaning back I put his beer bottle between my legs
and used the fingers on my left hand to spread my pussy lips.
Before I showed him any more, I held out my right hand and got
his money.  I lowered myself onto the bottle and when I felt
it slip into my pussy, I bounced up and down on the bottle.
The cold beer bottle felt funny in my warm pussy, but it
wasn't the first time and if someone wanted to spend another
fifty bucks it wouldn't be the last.

The fifty-dollar bill gave me an idea.  I kept moving up and
down on his bottle while I rolled the bill into a cylinder.  I
licked the end of the fifty and used it to tease my nipples
while I fucked his long-neck beer bottle.  I could feel my
nipples getting hard and could hear the four guys at the table
go crazy.  If the bouncers really cared about what was going
on, they'd be right over, but I was sure they were busy trying
to pick up one of the off-duty dancers and couldn't care less
what I did.

I made a few faces that said the bottle was turning me on.
This met with great approval by the boys.  I was trying to
decide what came next when the record ended and the next girl
took the stage.

I had to pay the house $25 per hour when I danced.  I thought
it sucked when they were also getting $5 for a bottle of beer,
but I didn't have a choice if I wanted the job.  When a girl
didn't hustle the customers, she could end up losing money.  I
never lost money.

Lap dancing is the way to big tips.  The club I worked in had
two possibilities.  A customer could ask you to give him a lap
dance at his table and he was supposed to tip the girl after
each song.  Anyone who tipped less than five dollars got to
watch my ass move on to the next customer.  On the other hand,
if a guy kept giving me five dollars for two-and-a-half
minutes of grinding, I'd be willing to stay at the same table
all night long and make a hundred an hour, but it didn't
happen much.  Usually the guy's friends egged him on after he
said a few things about my tits or ass.  I'd get ten or
fifteen dollars for playing with him and everyone made fun of
the bulge I left in my victim's pants.

Sometimes the boys came in with someone new who was dumb
enough to say it was his first time in a strip joint.  His
friends bought him a girl and waited to see how long it took
before she had his dick standing up in his pants.  There was
always a big tip for a girl who could make the guy cum in his
pants.  A big stain got me an extra twenty bucks easy.  The
other guys watched and told the newbie how good he was doing.
Nothing mattered to me as long as the tips kept coming.

The club had several rooms in the back.  If a guy was shy or
wanted to do some things and he felt needed privacy we'd head
to a back room.  The guy had to pay ten dollars a song for the
girl's time and the usual game was the guy wanting the girl to
dance and rub him until he blew his wad, and the girl trying
to see how long she could make him last.  Time and economics.

"Do you want me to give you a special dance?"

"What does that mean, blondie?" I suspected the suit knew what
I was talking about and he was trying to stall to see what his
buddies thought about my deal.

"I'll do a little dance just for you.  You can't touch, but I
can let you know how my tits feel and what my ass is like."

"What's it cost?"

"You have to tip me after a song is played.  Most guys like to
give me a five."

I hate lap dancing fat guys.  All my worst experiences were
with guys sporting an extra fifty or hundred pounds.  This one
had a gut that almost covered his lap.  He was also pretty
drunk and probably couldn't get it up anyhow, but I wasn't
getting paid to worry about things and knew what I had to do.

"Dam, she's fucking Bill's leg."

"Oh man, look at her tits in his face.  Let's hear ya hum

"She sure knows how to move her ass.  Shake it baby."

"Do you want me to dance again, Bill?"

"Yah, this is a twenty.  You're here for the next four songs,
bitch.  Now get your ass moving."

"Let me know when you're ready for the private room, baby."

"What's going on in there?"

"A little dancing, a little privacy, just you and me, big

The first time I went into a private room with a guy, he tried
to put his finger in my pussy.  When I was first hired to
dance, I had to sign a form that said I understood customers
weren't allowed to touch and I'd never participate in any
illegal sex activity.  For some reason I thought my signature
meant something.  I hollered for the bouncer who was there in
a couple of seconds.  The guy seemed put upon and wondered
what was going on.  The bouncer took me aside and told me he'd
always be there for me, but most girls let more happen in the
private rooms.  He told me that cops didn't come around during
the day so I could get busy and let guys get away with some
stuff, only no fucking and sucking.

"My, my, my, how did you sneak your cock out of your pants,

I was in the back with a guy who had some definite ideas about
how he wanted me to dance.  He had me face away from him,
spread my legs, bend over and move my ass around real slow.
When he told me to turn around, he had his dick in his hand
and was giving himself a hand job.

"You keep doing that and something's gonna happen, baby.  Keep
dancing, it's been awhile since I got it up and I want to make
damn sure I cum.  Now dance."

"I could dance or maybe I could do something like this."

As soon as I realized I had a guy with a problem, I smelled a
chance for a big tip.  I played with my tits and gave myself a
hand-job.  I tried to get into it, but it was hard to keep
turned on with a bald-headed guy stroking himself right in
front of me.  The novelty wore off after a couple of seconds
and the rest was downside for me.  I'd been married a few
years earlier and still remembered how to fake it.  I must
have done okay because he was asking me for a tissue a few
minutes later.

"You were great, girl.  I can't believe we got off together.
Here's something extra and now I got to go home."

"Hello fair lady.  Got time to give me a private dance."

"Why, Mr. Silk, seems to me you got all kinds of ladies who'd
get you off for nothing.  Why would you want to pay for it?"

Silk was in the category of guys I called glides.  Tall,  dark
and very handsome, he walked with amazing grace and it was
hard to remember if he ever moved his feet.  Thousand dollar
suit, understated silk tie, white hanky peeking out of his
pocket, Bally pumps, socks so long no one ever saw his shins
when he sat down and confidence oozing out of every pore.

"I must say you're looking quite dapper today, mister man."

"The lady I want right now is you, Mary Kay.  Is a hundred
enough for a dance?"

I took my clothes off as soon as the door was closed.  He sat
on a chair in the middle of the room and watched me move to
the sound of the music.  I danced through an entire song
without touching him and when I was half way through the
second record I asked him what he wanted.

"Girl, why wouldn't I want to just soak up the view.  You're
fine and move so well."

"Any requests?"

"Well, there is one thing.  How would you like to do some work
for me?"

"I like you Silk, but I can't see me fucking a bunch of guys
and giving you the money.  I think I'll keep dancing."

"Mary Kay, I'm hurt.  What do you think I am, some ghetto
pimp? You live with my girl Vernae.  You know she keeps her
money, works when she wants and all I get is a small

"I know you're a nice guy, Silk, but I'm not ready to be a

"I'll tell you what, beautiful woman, take my card and if you
ever need something or change your mind give me a call and
we'll talk again."

He got up and left the room before the song ended.  He never
touched me and didn't let me touch him either.  I'm not sure
there's much difference between what I do and what the girls
do who work for Silk.  Nobody gets to stick it in at the club,
but that's about it.  The only thing holding me back was not
wanting to admit I was a whore.

"Vernae, you won't believe who came by the club today and
tipped me a hundred for a dance."

"You'd be wrong there, girl." She'd already taken off her wig
and was using a pick to straighten out her nappy black hair.
"Silk's been asking about you.  I didn't say nothin' 'cause I
know you're not interested."

"Why's he after me anyhow? There's a lot of girls around who'd
want to work for a guy like him, you being just one example.
I don't understand."

All the girls at the club wore heavy makeup.  I watched Vernae
remove the color from her face as she changed from a painted
Jezebel to an almond skinned Cleopatra.  She stood in front of
the bathroom mirror and used a cotton ball to remove her
makeup.  Her perky breasts bounced when she scrubbed her face.
She was bent over the sink and her well-defined ass seemed to
be saying touch me, touch me now.

"Look at yourself, girl.  You heard about guys and trophy
wives? Well, it's the same thing with black pimps.  If he ever
got you in his stable, he'd be the envy of all the players.  A
tall, blonde girl from the South who gets along fine with
black people, ooo weee."

"That sounds stupid, but my ex-husband married me to show me
off, so I hear what you're saying.  It didn't work out with
him and I'm not ready for a re-run - even if I could make more

"Good.  You keep doing what you're doing and tell Mr. Silk to
leave you alone or you'll end up like that Ashley girl who was
with Martinez."

"What about Ashley?"

"I hear tell Martinez put her on the street and she has to
make money everyday or someone kicks her ass."

"Couldn't happen to a nicer person."

"Oh you, girl.  I thought you'd like hearin' about that."

There's a big turnover in the lap dancing profession.  Girls
come and go faster than teen fashions.  A club usually finds
out a girl's quit when she doesn't show up for a couple of
shifts.  The manager was in a bind with two girls out and he
asked me if I'd be willing to help.  I whined that I didn't
want to do it until he said I didn't have to pay the hourly
rate.  Vernae thought she'd be out-calling and I decided I
might as well work and make a couple of extra bucks.
Supporting a drug habit and an old Jaguar has a big price tag
and I could always use some more money.

"Silk, it's me, Mary Kay.  You said to call if I needed help."

"Yes, baby, what do you need from Silk."

"I can't say on the phone.  Could you come over to my place?"

"Thanks for coming so fast.  It's Vernae."

"What's wrong, baby, you look like you've been crying?"

"She's dead.  I think she OD'd in the bedroom."

All the apartment lights were off when I got home from work
and I thought Vernae was still out until I walked into our
bedroom.  She was lying on the bed next to a mirror and some
pill bottles.  She wasn't moving and I knew she wasn't asleep.
She was cold to my touch and her body was getting stiff.  I'd
seen dead people before and knew I was seeing another one.  A
cold sweat of fear engulfed me and once again I felt the pain
of indescribable loss. It was happening to me all over again.
I cried and I called Silk.

"Someone has to call the police, but not you Mary Kay.  The
police are going to like talking to you too much and you'd
give them reasons to want to hang around and find things."

He gave me a key to the place he owned in Sarasota and told me
to pack a bag for the trip.  He said it would be a couple of
days before things cooled down and he'd call me when it was
time to come back.  He'd handle all the details including
calling the club.  Silk made me take most of the money from
Vernae's purse and all the drugs we had except for what was on
the bed.  He was going to have a guy come over and play like
her boyfriend for the police.  He thought they'd chalk it up
to another junkie screw up and close the case right away.  I
kissed her body and went off to cry some more.

"The ceremony was beautiful, Silk.  Vernae would have loved

I wore a black dress and a new hat.  I carried the bible
Vernae used to keep in the back of her underwear drawer.

The little chapel was filled with lap dancers, hookers and
pimps who'd cleaned up for the day.  The coffin was open and
she wore her once-a-year-going-to-church-for-mama dress.  I
had a last chance to say goodbye.  I thought she could hear me
so I told her I loved her and told her I missed her.  I told
her to find Mallory and said I'd be there soon.

"Hey baby, you seem to be doing fine." Silk hadn't been around
for a couple of weeks and I was surprised when he showed up
without calling first.  "How are things going, girl."

"I miss her, I miss her real bad.  I go to work.  Come home.
Get high.  Go to work.  Nothing's changed including my car
breaking down."

"You should get rid of that thing.  It's costing you a
fortune, girl, why not get something practical?"

"I love my car and it's the only thing I have left to remind
me of someone far away.  Anyhow, it's in the shop until I come
up with $1,500 for a new transmission."

I'd had to work harder since Vernae died.  The bills were the
same and unexpected problems always got in the way, but I'd
been making it so far while I tried to decide what I wanted to
do when I grew up.

"I've got a way you can make $1,500 for two days work, Mary
Kay."  Silk never gave up and I guess I can't blame him for
doing his job.

"Come on Silk, I told you I didn't want to hook."

"No, baby, this is legit.  I know these guys who're making a
video.  Two days work and you get $1,500.  You can have it up
front and drive there in your car.  Say yes, baby."

"We try to get as much from our shoots as we possibly can,
Mary Kay."

The movie was being shot at the director's condo.  The crew
looked like guys he drank beer with after work.  I didn't feel
I'd be getting an Oscar for my two days, but I did have
Chester and was determined to go through with it.

"Now I'm going to take some pictures of you in the clothes
you're wearing and I got a killer swim suit for you to put on.
After that it's dress up for the film.  I don't have a make-up
girl so you'll have to do your own."

I don't know what I was thinking.  I assumed the movie people
had make-up, a hair dresser and a dressing room.  Trying to
get ready with some old guy following me around sucked.  He
kept snapping pictures of me taking off my clothes even though
I definitely wasn't looking hot.  I was wearing jeans, a
cotton blouse and I'd put on some funky panties in case anyone
was sharing the dressing room with me.  Turned out the person
sharing the dressing room was an old guy taking pictures who
wanted to see me naked, and the dressing room was the big
bathroom in his condo.

My hair looked like shit.  I pinned it up after I got out of
bed, but he didn't seem to mind.  After he took a hundred
pictures of me taking off my clothes, putting on make-up,
washing my hair, taking a bath and doing some other personal
things, he said it was time to shoot outside and he handed me
the suit he wanted me to wear.

I don't know where a leather bikini was in style, but it sure
wasn't Tampa in the summer.  I felt like a jerk walking around
with him taking pictures of me in that suit.

"You got to get ready for the shoot.  I want to see your hair
down and you in the costumes I picked out.  They're the
sexiest things you've ever seen."

Yah, the same guy who told him a purple leather bikini was hot
helped with wardrobe.  I thought the clothes would suck and I
wasn't wrong.

"Don't mind me, keep doing what your doing and I'll just take
some more pictures."

I had to do my hair and put on my make-up before I got
dressed.  The director enjoyed his work and slowed things down
by having me drop my towel, hold it right there, turn, and all
the other things he wanted to see.

"These pictures are going to be great, Mary Kay."

"Walter, I got to piss and you're not going to take any more
pictures until I'm finished.  Now get out of the bathroom and
let me get ready."

I pretended I was my mother going to the country club and put
on twice as much make-up as usual.  The first costume he gave
me looked like a prom dress from the day after someone tore
the lining out.  I thought it might belong to his wife or
something.  I wondered what audience would like these clothes.
The white skirt went all the way to the floor and made up for
covering everything by clinging to my ass like new skin -- and
it turned transparent in any light.  He also had me try on a
lace outfit that didn't cover a thing and itched when I walked

"Here's the story premise: you're a hooker."  Hmm, it didn't
sound like I'd have lines or that they wasted money on a
script or writers.  "We're going to film a day in your life
and when we get finished, we'll come up with an ending."

I thought I'd spend two days fucking people the director found
hanging out at the condo pool, but I was only half right.

The first guy looked like leftovers from spring break.  I was
supposed to get the money, take off my clothes and get into
bed.  The guy was going to do me around the world and end it
by coming in my face.  I thought facials were a stupid way to
prove the guy got off and was thinking I'd have to put my
make-up on again after he messed me up.  I shouldn't have

"Okay, Mary Kay, put something into the scene because we don't
have time to shoot it again."

I'm not sure how I was supposed to put something into asking
the guy for $200 for a suck and fuck, but I said something and
took off my clothes.  I don't think the guy was used to
fucking women like me and he stood there with his mouth open.

"Mary Kay, you get on the bed and watch him undress like it
was interesting.  Play with yourself like you can't wait."

I remember the scene as if it was yesterday.  I was on the bed
pretending to give myself a hand job.  The director had his
three buddies running the camera, sound and lighting.  The
main camera looked like it could be used in a professional
shoot, but the director's small video cam seemed like
something he used to collect voyeur shots.

"Goddam it, Jeff, stop gawking at her and take off your
clothes." The director finally got his attention and he began
to move around.

The guy stripped and he looked okay naked, but it was easy to
see we were going to have a problem.  I heard people who
worked on porno films were blasť about the action and just did
their work.  Not this crew.  The four old guys were bulging
out the front of their pants.  I kept seeing pictures of my
grandfather with a hard-on and was starting to lose interest
in what we were doing.

There were only two people in the room that didn't look like
they were going to cum in their pants.  Me, because I wasn't
wearing any, and the actor because the briefs he had on didn't
have the telltale bulge indicating his dick was ready to go.
His dick was never ready to go.

"Suck on his cock and get him hard, Mary Kay.  We'll keep
shooting until he's ready to fuck you."

I knew I was doing good because the crew were still sporting
hard-ons.  The actor was only showing four inches of limp dick
which doesn't make for much of a porno film.

"Okay, Jeff you get on top and fake it."

The director had Jeff pretend to fuck me from the font, from
the back and up the ass.  The old boys kept talking about the
money shot, but the actor was still soft and maybe getting
smaller from all the pressure.  They finally settled on having
a crew member jack off while the actor pretended to fuck me.
When the old guy came, he shot on my chest and the director
tried to get a close-up of his dick splashing cum on me.
There were two positives.  I didn't have to redo my make-up
and the director kicked Jeff out of the room.

"Mary Kay, this is Ron.  I think he'll work out a lot better."
I had to agree.

Ron got hard walking through the door.  He seemed real young,
but I wasn't the one going to jail for filming underage.  I
got back on the bed and played with myself.  I thought maybe
some variety would be nice, but the director knew what he
wanted and we repeated the first scene.  I guess it was what
Ron wanted, too.  His cock sprung into the air when he
released it from his briefs.  His cock was nice looking and
big enough to be interesting in a porn flick.

"Okay, Ronnie, this is going to work out fine.  Start fucking
Mary Kay and when you're ready to cum, pull out and shoot in
her face.  Got that?"

I was glad I'd been playing with myself because Ron didn't
waste any time.  He jumped on the bed, spread my legs and
jammed his cock into my pussy.  I got comfortable and was
ready to make the noises guys like to hear in porn flicks when
he suddenly pulled out and shot his load on my pussy.  I don't
know how much action the camera filmed.  The director might
have gotten something on his video cam, but it all happened so
fast I couldn't tell.  We were back to faking it again with
Ron pretending to do his thing in all my orifices.

Ron was pumping away from behind when I felt his dick get hard
again.  He managed to slip it into my pussy and I thought he'd
take some time before he shot his wad.  I'd been wrong before.

He never pulled out.  He moaned his orgasm and when he was
finished, he collapsed on the bed.  I could tell by looking at
him all he wanted to do was sleep.  This time they did squirt
some hand soap on my chest and face.  It didn't look like cum
to me, but the director seemed happy so I let him play.

I cleaned up and we broke for lunch.  It seemed like we were
going to have a slow afternoon because the two guys were
supposed to have gone on for three hours each and neither one
made the cut.  I was hoping we'd knock off early, but that was
not to be.

"You're playing a hooker and we decided we could be customers.
We'll take turns filming each other."

I saw this coming and wondered who'd want to see a porno of
two young guys who didn't know what they were doing and four
old men who probably could fuck, but look real ugly doing it.

"Harry, you go first."

We filled up the afternoon with four missionary style fucks
and me taking my time getting fixed up in the bathroom.  They
asked me if I wanted to join them for dinner, but I politely
declined and raced home to snort six lines.

There wasn't much to report from day two except the guys liked
the acting life so much they once again filmed themselves
doing me two or three times each.  They tried to make things
interesting for the replay, but I still couldn't imagine who'd
pay to watch them fuck me.  I guess there's a market for

"Hey Silk."

"Hey Mary Kay, how's my little actress?" He didn't know it was
ex-actress, but that didn't seem important to me at the time.

"Let me ask you a business question, Mr. Silk.  How much do
your girls get for fucking some businessman?"

"It depends on the girl, but if it was someone like you, I'd
say three or four hundred, but I usually don't send a girl out
on just a straight fuck so the girl makes more money."

"Hmm, how much does the girl get?"

"Half the fee and all the tip."

I'd just spent two days with some jerks who fucked me three or
four time each for a flat $1,500 and that didn't even count
the two actors who couldn't get the job done or the fifteen
rolls of stills the director shot.  I knew I got shortchanged.

"This is your lucky day, Silkie.  I need to get some money
ahead and want to go on the roster until I have what I need."

"All right, baby, I thought you'd see the light and I know you
won't regret it.  You're a natural and you'll make a ton of

I was scared the first time out, but it wasn't bad.  A nice
old man met me at his hotel-room door.  He wanted someone to
have dinner with him, talk for a while  and hop in bed for a
ten-minute missionary session.  When I tried to help, he told
me to lie back and enjoy myself.  I guessed he was pretending
I was someone else, and she didn't move around much.  When it
was time to leave he told me I was great and handed me a
couple extra bucks.

I was going out two or three times a week and taking home two
hundred or more for a date.  My day job was paying the bills,
the Jag wasn't acting up and I saw my back-up money start to
grow.  I asked myself why I didn't get into this earlier.

The guy wasn't more than 5' 6" and had to weigh better than
two-hundred pounds.  He was wearing a robe and nothing else.
His expression said he was used to telling people what to do
and didn't feel the need to be pleasant.

"You're here for two hours.  The money's in the envelope on
the table and I don't want to hear anymore about it.  You

"You're the boss.  What do you want me to do?"

"Listen good.  I want you to make this look like your own
idea, you understand?"

I knew I didn't have a chance.  Even if I remembered his
fantasy, he could forget and if things didn't work out right,
he'd be pissed.

"Take all your clothes off except for your shoes.  Let me see
you play with your tits like you really mean it.  Then I want
to watch you finger yourself until you're hot, but don't cum.
Get on the bed and wait for me to fuck you.  Tell me how good
I'm doing."

I didn't see this guy lasting two hours and I took my time
with the striptease.  I did my best to get him hot while I
played with my tits and twice pretended to bring myself close
to orgasm before I went over to the bed.  I got on my back and
moved around like I was suffering because he wasn't fucking
me.  I must have done all right since he wasn't pissing and

"Spread your legs wider bitch and when I get on you, rub my
back while I give you the ride of your life."

I don't like fat, and hairy fat is even worse to look at or
touch.  Seeing him standing there naked was not anything I
wanted to remember.  I knew he was trouble when I first saw
him and he wasn't changing my opinion.  I'd put on my best act
and shown him what I had.  Most guys would be turned on, but
the smallest limp cock I'd ever seen on a grown man hung there
hidden by folds of pasty-white flesh.

He threw himself on top of me and I had a hard time moving
until he thrust his body against mine.  He still wasn't hard
and I didn't know what he thought he was doing.

"Hey, you're hurting me."

"Shut the fuck up, bitch.  This is your fault and you better
get to work."

He kept pounding away with his bulk and each thrust caused
pain.  I didn't care about the money anymore, I just wanted to

"I can't take any more.  This is hurting too much."


"I told you to shut up, bitch, and I meant it.  This is your
fault and you're going to pay."

  My face stung from his slaps and when I tried to get out from
under him, I paid the price.


He punched me and I could feel heat on the side of my face.
When I started to cry he slapped me some more.  When I tried
to move he hit me again.  He never stopped pounding his fat
body into mine.  I couldn't move.  I couldn't breathe.

He got off me and I thought he was finished, but all he did
was pick up his belt and start screaming at me.

"If your fault, you cunt.  It's your fucking fault, bitch."


He beat me on my legs and moved up to my tummy and tits.  When
I turned over to get away, he striped the back of my legs, my
ass and beat a trail up my spine.  I was screaming but he
didn't seem to care.  He didn't stop until he marked up my
whole body.  When his strength failed he rolled me on the rug
and dragged me to the hotel room door.

He never stopped telling me it was my fault.

He threw me into the hall and tossed my clothes and the money
after me.  He slammed the door to his room and I hoped I'd
never see him again.  I was naked on the hallway floor without
enough strength to do anything but cry.

"He hurt me, Silk.  He beat me and he marked me up."

I don't remember how I got home.  I couldn't lie down on the
bruises that covered my body and I was too worn out to stand.
My face was swollen enough to close an eye.  A couple of my
teeth were loose, but I didn't think I was going to lose any.
My ribs were sore, but they didn't feel broken.  For some
reason that made me happy.

"Silk, I need you here now."

"Take these pills, baby, and swallow the water.  In a minute
you won't feel the pain."

"Why did he do it, Silk?  Why did he hurt me?"

"I don't know baby.  He's been rough before, but nothing like
this.  I called and asked him what happened.  He said he's
sorry and wants you to have another five hundred."

The pills were doing something and I could feel myself
drifting away.  I couldn't talk and the pain was leaving my
body.  I fell on the bed and passed out.

The bed lamp was still on when I woke up to the fire that was
tearing me apart.  I don't know how long I'd been asleep.
Silk must have left the pills for me and I swallowed three
more before I passed out again.  The next time, I woke up to a
ringing phone.  It was my boss at the club.  I told him I was
in an accident and wouldn't be in for a while.  I must have
sounded real bad because he didn't complain.  He told me to
call him when I wanted back on the schedule.

Silk had a doctor stop by and a girl came over to take care of
me.  She made sure I was full of pain medicine and I still
can't remember how long I stayed in bed.  Eventually I was
able to get up and start doing things for myself.  I didn't
recognize the woman in the mirror and I hoped the marks
weren't permanent.

"You're looking good as new, baby.  Mighty fine.  Can't tell
something bad happened.  I made him come up with three grand
more to cover the time you missed at the club."

I looked at the money he put in my hand.  He thought it was
enough to cover my pain.  Maybe it was, but I was thinking
about the next time.  Maybe I wouldn't just get my ass kicked.

"You knew about the guy and didn't say anything, Silk.  Why
didn't you tell me?"

"He never beat anyone up like he did you, baby.  Yah, he's
been known to slap a girl around, but he told me he wasn't
doing that any more."

"You knew and didn't tell me.  I'm finished.  That was my last

"What are you saying, girl?"

He was still smooth talking and in control, but I sensed
something bad going on below the surface.

"What I said.  I'm afraid, and I won't go into a hotel room
with another stranger.  Look at me.  I'm still not right."

He tried to talk me into staying and said I should take more
time and get over it.  All I could say was no and watched him
go from glide to hard.  He wasn't letting me go to some other
man.  I was his and was going to keep on working for him.

"What do you think you're going to do, Mary Kay?"

"I want to go back to California.  I want to go home."

"You're not leaving.  You work for me bitch.  The world looks
the same everywhere when you're on your back so you don't need
to be going off to some other player.  You saw what happened
to Vernae."

"What are you saying, Silk?"

"She told me she was going away and showed me her plan.  I
couldn't let her go.  She said I'd let her leave or else she'd
put the cops on my ass.  You got more questions?"

He killed her.  I couldn't prove it, but I knew he killed her
and he'd kill me too if I tried to leave him.  I didn't want
to die, but I couldn't live like that anymore.

I spent the day searching my apartment.  I looked everywhere,
under everything, in all the boxes hiding in the closets and
inside the envelopes stuffed into drawers.  I spent hours
searching and didn't find her plan.  When I went back into the
bedroom I looked at the place where she died.  I remembered
the day.  She was on my side of the bed which wasn't like her.
I should have suspected something was wrong, but I was stupid
and went along with Silk.

Then I knew.

I lifted the mattress and saw the folder pushed in far enough
under the mattress so no one would find it even when the
sheets were changed.

I saw the money first and realized she had saved thousands of
dollars.  When I counted what she had it came to more than
twenty-one thousand.  I couldn't believe it until I read the
brochure I found inside the envelope.

She was saving to go to a rehab someplace in Michigan.  I read
the document and could tell the people knew what they were
talking about.  She was going to leave me and not say a word.

I still had my own problems, but at least I wasn't broke.  Now
I had some money to work with and could make a run for it,
maybe back to Texas.  He'd never look for me there.

I was still trying to decide what to do when I saw the letter.
It was addressed to Vernae Richmond and the letterhead was
from the rehab hospital.  They thanked her for contacting them
and gave some highlights on how successful they were treating
addicts.  There was more, but it didn't matter when I saw the
last paragraph:  "We require a $15,000 advance payment which
is not refundable if you decide to leave before the four-month
treatment is completed."

A long time, an expensive program and that's why she didn't
tell me.  She was saving up until she had enough money to pay
for both of us, and she didn't want me to know until she could
talk me into getting straight.

Okay, Vernae, I want to do it, but I'm not strong, not like
you and Mallory.  I might die.  He won't let me leave, not
easy.  He has eyes everywhere and I know he'll be watching.
I'm afraid.

"Hey Silk, it's me, Mary Kay.  I've decided I'm going to

"Good, baby.  I'm glad you've got yourself together."

"Yah, well, I'm not together and don't know what to do so I
might as well do it here."

He seemed wary.  The  sound of his voice was not at all
pleasant.  I wasn't the new girl anymore.

"I want to borrow your place in Sarasota for a week and get
myself together.  I've still got the key."

"Yes, sounds good.  Take some time, that's okay.  Clear your
head and be ready for some serious money making when you get
back.  You got enough cash for now?"

"I can manage for a week."

"Good, we'll get together when you're back and make some
plans.  When you driving over there?"

"I don't know, tomorrow or the next day."

"I'll expect you back in a week, one week.  Time marches on,
girl.  Time marches on."

I put as much stuff as I could in the Jag and left the rest of
my belongings in the apartment.  I had two envelopes full of
money and a map to help me find the way.  When my car crossed
the Michigan state line I knew I had five more days before
he'd start looking for me.  I was still a couple of hours away
from the hospital, but no one, not even Silk, was going to
find me now.

I was safe.

The End

Note: I am very lucky. I have a wonderful editor who helped me
every step of the way with this story. Thank you PeeJ.  I also
was able to submit the story for review in the ASSD Fishtank
and received the input from many people who offered
suggestions and ideas to help me raise the story to another
level. Thanks everyone who participated in the Fishtank and
Desdmona for continuing .to provide ASSD with the best writing
tool we've every had.

Let me know what you think about this story ...

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