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Subject: Driving to Meet Day 2
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Copyright (1998)

This story is not for distribution or publication without written permission
from the author.

Also, if you're under 18, it is not advisable to read further until you are

Thanks to all that have responded.  It is taking the time to get this down,
but I will follow through the whole trip.

Drive to Meet - Day 2

Joseph lives in Provo Utah and this drive feels like the loneliest and
according to the map, I'm only halfway there.  I'm having second thoughts
about meeting him because I'm getting tired and would prefer to just spend
the night alone.

My busy mind begins a conversation of thoughts again.  Why am I doing this
again?	Oh, yeah I want to see if I can feel what is like to have unemotional
sex.  Didn't work last night, I made an attachment.  I became attached to his
anger, and then to the sweetness he displayed later.  Last night I tried hard
to hide my anger, but he knew.	My face must be easy to read or Will just had
some guilt.  I didn't hide my feelings when he apologized.  Is that a
sickness of mine to be so trusting?  Just be truthful because it's just you. 
I did enjoy the sex and the conversation later.  I felt like I had made a
true friend that I had to let go of when we parted.  I won't ever talk to him
again, but still it felt more for me than detached.

I really wish I would hear from Kirk.  He who I long for so badly even though
it causes hurt.  Back on him again.  Geez, don't you wish it would stop.  It
was a rebound thing from a 20-year marriage that was never what you really
wanted. Try again.  That wasn't it.  You wrote out your list of pros and cons
about him. The pros won out.

"Looking Through Your Eyes" is playing on the tape.  Here I go again,
relating another song to him.  Just concentrate on the song, will you.	Don't
put anything into it!  I wish I had never seen his face.  Good grief it
wasn't even that great of a face.  He barely smiled that smile you thought
you were so hooked on.	My sister thought he was homely as hell.  None of
that mattered to you.  That face was what I saw when I woke up that time.  I
know it was his face.  I would bet everything on it.  Don't go there right
now.  Do yourself that favor.

Look things wouldn't be the same anyway.  You have exposed yourself to him,
he knows you now.  Maybe that was the hook for you. You know what you want
from him and you wouldn't be happy unless you heard him say he wants to try
with you. You would probably feel uncomfortable about talking about a
relationship with him.	So just don't go there.  Just hope he finds the kind
of happiness he wants.	He didn't want you.

You just left someone who wanted to try to have a real honest relationship
with you and moved anyway. What goes around, comes around. Biting my lower
lip I think, at least I was honest to him that guys from LA just don't wear
western boots.	God, why is it what my family likes, I don't?

Will's touch on my clit was like an extention of a toy, not the feeling of
Kirk's touch.   Maybe I'm in search to prove that Kirk's touch was a
manifestation of my thoughts: maybe.

It is hot outside, and I need some exercise.  It's time to try out some four
wheeling on this desert.  There was a dirt road to the left, I backed up and
shift the Wrangler into 4-wheel drive high.  There is a cloud of dust behind
me that seems to go up about 14 feet.

There is a hill to the right and I decide to climb it.	Reaching the top, I
get out and look around.  There is nothing but beautiful red dirt, sagebrush,
and rocks between the highway and me.  Walking around the hill for a few
minutes, I came back and unpacked a light lunch of grapes, some deli pasta
salad and more water.

After eating I enjoy leaning up against the hot bumper feeling the heat of the
sun.  I feel a drip of sweat begin falling from under my breast towards my
navel.  My water bottle is still very cold and I pour some water in my hand.
While pulling up my tank top, I let the water drip slowly from my hand down my
breast and I feel the coldness run a different path from the sweat.

Deciding the over 100 degree heat is what I need right now, I undress
exposing all of me to the sun.	I study my shadow cast beside me and run my
hands over my breast, then with the cold water bottle I use it as a rolling
pin pushing my breasts down and then up, feeling little waves run through me.
This is being alive at last.  On my own, exposing all to the extreme heat and
able to make myself aroused.

The freedom to feel this way and not be ashamed is amazing me.  My skin is
burning and it feels like I'm standing too close to the sun.  I'm not afraid.

I yell it loud and dance around "I'm not afraid!  I'm not afraid!  Oh Shit!"

The water bottle flew out of my hand towards the edge of the hill.  I hiked
down towards it lying up against a rock and slid about 20 feet right past it.
 I groped for a rock and hit another with the bottom of my left foot as my
body weight went full force on my ankle.  "SHIT!" I screamed.

I can't let go.  My ankle is hurt really bad, but if I let go I'm just going
to slide down further.	I think laughing inside, another fine mess Ollie. 
Now you trust this hill too much.  Face the fear, you can do it.

Turning around on my toes I find a rock to grip and pull myself up.  My toes
dig into the dirt and I begin to be thankful my trainer at the gym pushed me
into chin-ups.

Back at the Wrangler, I look at myself in the side mirror and laugh.  I'm not
looking too good today.  My ankle is killing me but I promise myself it will
be okay.  Take something for it later.

I reach for the water can attached to the back bumper of the Wrangler, lift
it up on the hardtop and put it on its side.  I open the top and let the
water drain soaking my head to my toes within a couple of minutes.  Wish the
water were cold.  I examine the scraps on my breasts, stomach, knees, and
then I notice the blood coming from my toes.  I can only imagine my butt must
be really a mess like the skid running down my back of my thighs and legs.
Because of the sting of the water flushing out the small rocks deep in my

Packing up I notice my toy box.  Just what I need right now to help this pain.
I'm not going to be able to see anyone tonight like this or maybe the rest of
the week.

I took out a battery-powered vibrator with a gel cover that I knew would
probe deeply.  It also had a clit stimulator, called the rabbit or something.
 This is my exclusive toy.  No one uses this except me and I still haven't. 
I think why be afraid.	Please yourself Claire.  The vibration feels so good
as I slide it up and down my slit.  I lay the back of the seat down and
spread my legs wider.  Noticing the knob of the stickshift, but that's
another time.  I will make this car mine!  Once I'm really wet and the
vibration has me stirred up.  I insert the vibrator fully, feeling every
eight inches deep inside.  I put in a tape I made up called Happy Feet #7
with songs like the Rolling Stones "Honky Tonk Woman".	Put the Wrangler in
gear and make a donut of dust as I spin around on the top of this hill and
then fly into the cloud of dust and feel the front end go over the edge and
make it's way downhill.  I didn't even put my foot on the brake.  I just let
the drop take me fast and gripped on the steering wheel as my body flew
forward and back with each bump.

Making it to the bottom soon, I stopped, threw the Wrangler into four wheel
high, peeled out towards the highway and took it to fourth gear in seconds.  I
felt every rut in the road and the vibrator inside of me was making me want to
jump right out of this seat.  Once I got to the highway I wanted to come.  I
pulled over rubbing my clit with the little ear until my eyes watered and even
though I tried to choke it back, I said his name.

I put my shorts and tank top back on, taped a cold bottle of water to my
ankle and made my way to Provo Utah about an hour later than I hoped.  I
checked into my motel and wanted to take a bath and just soak before I
checked my e-mail and send an instant message my friend who is having a lot
of fun with my buddy list.

I could just not show up tonight, but I hooked up my laptop to the phone line
and checked out the messages.  Sure enough there was a message from Joseph
confirming plans for the night.  I looked on my buddy list and he was logged
on. I told him about my accident today and didn't think under the
circumstances it would be a great idea to meet him tonight and I should hit
the road early tomorrow for Steamboat Springs.

Thinking to myself, The ride I had today was a blast. My adreline was pushing
it's limit, like it did with Kirk. "Jumping Jack Flash".  Go buy a bottle and
drink to the pain.  Play some K.D. Lang. Just stay in bed curled up and wish
you were with him.  That feels good too.  Let the anxiety run right out of
you and just be with your thoughts.  They will serve you well.

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