Do not proceed to read this ADULT story unless it is lawful for you to do so.
Note to readers:
Please let me know how you liked it. Blue, indented writing is a letter, e-mail, IM, or something a character has written down or is reading.
For those who are awaiting the next installment of Snap!, the serial that I am writing, please forgive me for this excursion into a story/tale. The fourth installment of Snap! is coming along. It has taken more time because I am being more careful with it; many of those who responded to the previous chapters made excellent observations and comments that I have had to take into consideration. The time between installments may increase but the quality will increase also. Thank you to those who took the time to help me.
Those of you who create will understand that sometimes one has something inside his self that he must expunge or it feels as if he will explode. Such is how I felt about this story. Now, all of those who have responded and supplied their e-mail address have been replied to. I have told some of them that I write as self therapy; I challenge you to see if you can find where I am in this story and to what extent.
Thank you for reading my work.
‘God damn it!’ Shamshaire thought sitting in front of his computer. ‘My buds on the poetry board might know what to do. I hope they do, I don’t know what to think or feel. I gotta get back to studying. Let me post this… Ah, well, I guess all I can do is wait for their replies…’
Dear People, (friends I would like to think),
Many of you are going to be very angry at this post because this is not a poetry post; I desperately need your advice.
Here is the scenario:
I last week I went to surprise my girlfriend of several months with some flowers because due to classes, projects and upcoming finals, I had only been able to talk to her on the phone, and had not seen her for a week. I went into her apartment (she gave me key since she lives alone in a studio) and walked in on her and what I thought was just a friend doing more than just studying; his hands were in all wrong places. I dropped the flowers and left slamming the door behind me. That must have got their attention because when I was about a block away from her building I heard her calling after me. I just kept going to my car. I called a friend of mine and told her that I needed to talk. She and I have been friends for a year and a half; we had a class together second semester freshman year. While I was on the phone with her my girlfriend called me; she apologized and asked me to take her back. I told her that I needed some time to think and would get back to her.
By the time I got to my friend's place I had a headache like a stampede of elephants through my head and a knot in my stomach that was threatening to ruin the leather in my car. I barely made it to her bathroom before I started retching my guts out into her toilet. The dear stayed there with me rubbing my back the whole time and then helped clean me up when I was done.
Then it hit me. I had obviously gotten more involved with my girlfriend than I realized because I was actually think about whether or not to ask her to continue our relationship. Here we get to my personal crisis: I have a rule with relationships, if I get cheated on it's over, end of story. This was a rule I made clear to every one of my girlfriends once we became exclusive and was something my friends all knew about too. The problem here is that I want to forgive her. And when I was sitting there on the floor of my friend’s bathroom I realized that I was not sure whether what she had done was the reason I was literally sick to my stomach, or the fact that I had to break up with her to keep my word.
Now I would like to say that this is all there is to my dilemma but unfortunately there is more. When I was done puking, my friend got me a cup of coffee and told me to tell her all about it; so I did. The problem is that I broke down when I got to the part about wanting her back but not being able to do it. I had my head in my hands and she sat down on the couch next to me, put her arms around me, and pulled me to her. I must have sat there like that half crying for at least half an hour. I felt content there, safe, warm, and cared for, but then she did something completely unexpected; she kissed me. I wasn't thinking straight so I kissed back initially. I suddenly realized what I had done and like the shit I am, I ran. I ran out the door to my car, and found a friend to get me high and drunk (luckily this was a Friday afternoon).
Here is the situation in a nutshell. I think I want to take my girlfriend back, but am confused by my feelings for my female friend. I also "can't" take my girlfriend back because that would be breaking my word. Furthermore, I know that if I ask my female friend out she will say yes; the kiss didn't leave much in doubt; however I know I am vulnerable right now and going out with her might just be my way of rebounding; I don't want to realize a month or later from now that I feel that dating her is a sham. I would HATE to fuck up our friendship or to hurt this girl; I really care for her and am interested in her romantically, but I don’t know if I can trust myself right now.
So there you have it. It’s ~ on Thursday of the week before dead week; my friends, Ariel and David, are having their bi-annual before finals bash is in 35 hours and I HAVE to go; they have always been good to me and I can’t ditch their party. The problem is both my female friend and my girlfriend are going to be there. My head is so fucked up with all this stuff that I don't know what to do. Please Help! I am asking fellow poets because most of my friends don't understand the bit about breaking my word, they think I am being a fool, and my parents are traditional Indian Muslims so they don't like me dating in the first place and taking this to them would only get an "I told you so, now when are you going to look at the pictures of eligible girls your aunt mailed us from back home?" Please help; I have no clue as to what to do.
“Oh god Derrick, that feels so good,” whimpered Kaylin as her friend Derrick massaged her shoulders. The two had been studying anthropology together for the last four hours and both were sore from sitting in place so long, so when Derrick had offered Kaylin a shoulder rub she had readily accepted. Now she was seated on the couch facing one side while Derrick worked knots out of her shoulders and back. He had been at it for ten minutes and every so often she felt him go over her shoulders of under her armpits around her side just a little bit. ‘I ought to tell him to not do that,’ she thought to herself, ‘But it’s just a little massage to help me loosen up so that I can concentrate better.’
“Oooh, hehe,” she giggled, “What was that?”
“Oh nothing K, just a little tough spot so I thought that my mouth might work better than my hands.” When Kaylin heard that she tensed up, remembering what was going on and that she had a boyfriend and a rule.
“I think that’s enough Der. I don’t think I want to go any further; we need to get back to work,” Kaylin said as she tried to turn forward. But Derrick’s left hand went around her waist and pulled her against his chest, and in the same motion he sucked her right earlobe into his mouth.
“Ooohh,” sighed Kaylin, and with that Derrick turned her just a little bit and planted kiss after soft kiss on her collar bone quickly coming to her neck and then back to her ear.
“Aaahh, Derrick, let me gooaahhh, mmm.” Kaylin tried to resist again but when she turned around and spoke Derrick simply covered her mouth with hers, instantly penetrating her mouth with his tongue and massaging her tongue with his.
She was lost in his embrace. His strong hands around her pulling him to her, his glorious tongue darting in her mouth making her whimper, overcame her resistance. She knew in the back of her mind that she should push him away, but his tongue, it kept tantalizing her. And it had been a week since she had seen Shairu, and two weeks since they had done more than give each other a peck on the cheek. ‘Damn his lousy math and physics double major,’ she thought, ‘I wish I had him here. Oh my god!’
“Derrick stop.” Kaylin said firmly, “I,…oohh, god that feels god,” she moaned a second later. She was gone, her body was on fire and all she could think about was where Derrick’s mouth was going to go next.
Chen, and say hi to Gracie for me,” hollered Shamshaire over his shoulder to
his favorite flower stand owner. Right there on the corner of
He had parked a block away, and now with bouquet in hand he began to walk uphill on University towards the building where Kaylin’s studio apartment was, whistling as he went. They had not seen each other in a week because of his research commitments and he knew that she was unhappy about it. They were supposed to go out on Sunday night but Shamshaire knew that she liked surprises and he liked to give them so a surprise bouquet and dinner sounded great.
“Mmmm,” Kaylin moaned into another kiss of Derricks and she started to squirm just a little bit. His left hand started to massage her stomach and began a slow kneading trek up to her stomach.
At the same time Shamshaire reached Kaylin’s building and used the key she had given him to let himself in. The key was in case Kaylin got too drunk at a party they went to or if she was hurt some how, and then Shamshaire could get into her apartment.
As her boyfriend entered the elevator and pressed the button marked “4,” Kaylin’s nipples were hardening under the incessant attention of Derricks kneading hands. Even through her bra and T-Shirt he could feel the nubs turn into small eraser heads and burn into his palm. Her softball size breasts were not too large but her flaring hips and tight waist gave her wonderful curves. He decided right then that he wanted her right there and he knew it would take little more before she was on her back.
reached the fourth floor and headed down the hallway to the end door. Kaylin
had been fortunate and acquired a studio with a view near campus for $800 a
year. Shamshaire was jealous. He was still living at home because he couldn’t
afford housing in
And as Shamshaire’s feet stepped along so did Derrick’s fingers proceed to Kaylin’s crotch. He knew that she must be wet underneath her jeans and he intended to find out. With his right hand he unzipped and unbuttoned her jeans. Then spreading the fly of the jeans he lifted his hand to the top of her panties. And as Shamshaire turned the key and opened the door Derrick’s fingers slid underneath Kaylin’s panties and made contact with her lush and drenched sex.
“Uunngghh, yes!” Kaylin screamed as Derrick’s fingers made contact and Shamshaire opened the door. ‘Oh god, what about Shairu,’ she thought in a sudden bought of conscious, ‘But I need this, and he’ll never know.’
Shamshaire saw the unthinkable, his beautiful girlfriend moaning into another man’s mouth. Her long brown hair splayed around his shoulders as his fingers did the worst possible thing and disappeared into her panties; and then she moaned again, and said yes! Dropping the bouquet where he stood Shamshaire made an about face, threw the apartment key behind him and slammed the door as he ran out.
Wham! The door slammed stunning the lustful pair on the couch. They looked around to see who was inside the apartment and it was Kaylin who first saw the bouquet and key on the floor.
“Oh my God! Shairu!” Shouted a startled Kaylin as she fastened her pants and jumped off the couch. “Oh no! He must have walked in on us!”
“Ah who cares K, he’s gone. Let’s finish what we started.”
“Oh no, oh no. Shit! Derrick, listen this was a huge mistake, and I need you to leave now.”
“Come on K, you can’t get me all riled up like this and ask me to leave,” replied Derrick stepping towards Kaylin.
“No. Leave, or I will have to call someone.”
“Okay, okay,” said Derrick, throwing his hands in the air. “Let me get my stuff and I’ll go. You know what though, it’s your loss. Hell, he’ll never talk to you again, even I have heard about his rule.” So Kaylin let him, and he did.
As Derrick left Kaylin went to the door and picked up the bouquet. Attached to it was one of the obligatory little cards that had room for a line of words:
Thought you would like a surprise dinner out Koala Bear! – Love, Your Lion
‘I have to talk to him. Shit, what the fuck was I thinking? The one gentleman I meet. The one guy who isn’t obsessed with getting off and I cheat on him. Shit! No other boy ever brought me flowers every time he came to see me. What the fuck was I thinking? I have to talk to him. But will he listen? God damn his rule! God damn! I’ve got to go after him’
Shamshaire ran down the hallway and once he got into the elevator he collapsed in a corner. Huddled there on the floor he sat a pile of emotional mush. Unable to move much less walk, he was there until the elevator door opened on the ground floor and someone walked to his shocking sight. When he realized that he was being stared at and that the elevator was no longer moving, his years of manners and preventability training by his mother kicked in. He calmly stood up, dusted off and re-adjusted his clothes, and walked out of the building head held high. He went down hill (West) towards his car and as he passed the flower shop he heard a “Hey Liano!” That was Gracie’s nickname for him. She had looked up once that his name meant lion; since everyone called him Shairu for short she thought that “Liano” was appropriate. Usually he would reply with some witty remark but today he just kept on walking only yelling a “Not now kid!” over his shoulder. Then behind him Shamshaire heard something he really had not wanted to.
“Shairu, please wait!” It was Kaylin. His zombie act in the elevator had given her time to catch up to him and now she was running down the hill. “Stop, please, let’s talk.”
He turned suddenly, she was still a hundred feet away, and yelled, “You knew the rule, now leave me be!” Then he started to run. He had only a block to his car and with his head start and size he was able to get there well ahead of Kaylin who could only stand and watch as he pulled out of the parking space with dangerous haste and peeled off in no particular direction.
The sound system in his car blasted
at top volume and with his windows down and sunroof drawn back Shamshaire raced
along the cramped streets of
“And I’ve been down to the bottom of every bottle…” the radio blared.
“Ahh shut-up you dumb mother-fucker!” Shamshaire screamed as he switched the radio station.
“If I listened, long enough to you…I’d find a reason, to believe that it’s all true…” crooned Rod Stewart on the new radio station.
“Fuck! Can’t you people play anything fucking happy! The hell with it. I gotta call Leila anyway and find out if she is home.” Shamshaire often thought out loud as he just had. Still cursing, he shut off his stereo and dialed his best friend on his cell phone.
“Yeah, what’s up Shairu?”
“Listen, I need to talk. Can I come over?”
“Sure Leo, how long? Hey listen, you don’t sound too good; everything fine?”
“Not really Leila, that why I need to talk; you’re my best friend, I don’t know who else to go to. Anyway I am under five minutes away, I am already on Hillegass.”
“Kay, drive slowly, I’ll be waiting for you. Don’t worry.”
Shamshaire groaned at that last sentence. Leila had no doubt meant Okay, but the mere association was painful for him. Then just seconds after he hung up on Leila, he received another call and took it without checking the caller ID.
“Shairu, listen, I am sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I sent Derrick home right away. Shairu please give me another chance. Nothing actually happened between Derrick and me! Please Shairu, you have got to believe me I am sorry. It will never happen again, never. Please come to my place, I want to see you, I’ll make you forget what you saw, I promise.”
“Make me forgot what I saw on the very couch that I saw you on? Ha! I wonder who else you’ve had there; I know that’s where I first had you, seems to be some sort of pattern. About coming over – no. I can’t see you today. I need some time to think. Maybe prove what you say by not sleeping with anybody else before I call!”
“Don’t say that Shairu,” she sounded like she was crying, “I had a moment of weakness, I-”
“A moment of weakness? Weakness!? If I had a moment of weakness every time some cute freshman that I was tutoring threw herself at me you would have beat me over the head with a baseball bat!”
“Shairu I really don’t think that-”
“Oh, so you think that you can keep me because I can’t find anyone else. The hell with that! You’ll here about this Monday! Keep good count babes!”
“Shairu, don’t do this, I love you!”
“I’ll be in touch,” and Shamshaire hung up the phone. She called him right back but he checked the number this time and did not pick up the phone.
“I can’t believe I just said I would try and bed a bunch of girls! I can’t believe I just promised to call her back,” he said out loud. “I can’t break my own rule! I swore it; I put my word on it. But that would mean I have to… no I can’t leave her, she’s… but damn it, it’s my word, my promise, my honor!
“But how will I live without her hands on my…no! But her lips, they’re so soft, and when she holds me its like, as if the whole world is just gone…” and he slipped off into remembrance.
“Just wait here Leo. I want to go get into something warmer.”
As Kaylin went behind the veneer to get some warmer pants on, Shamshaire looked
at his reflection in the mirror. 5’10” and well built from years of baseball
and football he knew he was no wimp but he was not a jock either. He did not
have the skill to play for
Kaylin was different though. She had been the aggressor. His eyes had attracted her she had said, and she always told him they were his best feature. Looking into the mirror he realized she was probably right. He had what he had heard called probing bright eyes. They were dark but sharp, and his eyebrows, which went up instead of down at the ends, only added to the effect.
Feeling warm rather than cold, Shamshaire wandered over to Kaylin’s window and was staring at the clear Saturday January sky when he felt a hand behind him at the base of his neck. Kaylin stood there massaging his neck and shoulders and then suddenly, she planted a kiss on Shamshaire’s shoulder. The touch of her lips was so soft yet powerful that Shamshaire felt his knees buckle. He had kissed other girls, and was no virgin, but this slight touch from Kaylin sent him to his knees.
As he stood (sat?) there one his knees, Kaylin kept one hand behind his head and moved around to stand in front of him. It was only then that he realized she was not wearing anything except her jewelry and a smile. He looked up at her, awestruck by her beauty. Her breasts were perfect for her 5’7’ height. Not large but good in size and more importantly firm and pointing outwards. The nipples were already hard, most likely from the anticipation; brown nubs on top of her slightly tanned breasts. His gaze then moved down over her soft, yet firm belly which was flat from all the swimming she did, to the small tuft of brown hair between her legs. She was not shaved but the hair was sparse and he could easily see the already puffy lips pouting. His mouth watered just looking at it and he knew what he wanted, but Kaylin used the hand behind his head to make him look up into her eyes. There he thought he saw what he had waited to see for so long – complete and unconditional acceptance and love. She wanted him and wanted to care for him just as he did for her. She wanted him, and with that thought he gave himself to her completely.
She pulled his head to her stomach and instantly, on pure instinct, Shamshaire stuck his tongue into Kaylin’s navel eliciting a low moan from her. She, for one, wondered where else that tongue might act so skillfully and determined to find out, pushed his head lower until his tongue flicked her clit. She immediately grabbed his head and held it to her, and Shamshaire, loving every inch of her, sucked her clit into his mouth and cherished it with his tongue.
He was good, very good, and Kaylin had been planning this for a week and so had a great deal of pent up lust to loose. All this combined with the erotic sight of a completely willing male lapping between her legs like as if it was his sole purpose in life sent her over the edge. She let go of Shamshaire’s head and used his shoulders to steady herself as he tongued her clit to orgasm. It didn’t seem like a big one at first, it just kind of pulsed through her, but suddenly it snowballed because Shamshaire never stopped his ministrations with his tongue. His tongue kept a steady pace and when her clit’s sensitivity was magnified a hundred fold only two more tongue lashes put her over a second time.
This time the pleasure was madly intense. If Shamshaire had looked up he would have seen Kaylin’s luxurious fair flying around because she was whipping her head from side to side rapidly. Her knees gave out and only her hands on Shamshaire’s shoulders and his strong arms around her legs kept her up. But all the while Shamshaire continued and finally unable to bear the intense feelings anymore, Kaylin, who had been quiet until then, threw her head back and screamed, “YYEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!” loud enough to be heard three doors down. Her voice was not all that broke loose; the damns between her thighs failed and fluid poured out of her and coated her legs and part of Shamshaire’s face. She came for what seemed like forever before she stopped having spasms, and when she finally came down she had only one thought; ‘I have to keep him!’
Shamshaire, thoroughly pleased with himself, picked Kaylin up easily and carried her to the couch where he gently laid her and took a second to admire her lovely form.
“Beautiful, simply wonderful,” Shamshaire whispered as he bent down to kiss her and massage her breasts. First the right, then the left breast was caressed and as his hands moved lower his mouth moved to her mounds. He suckled softly, so softly that she pushed his head hard against her breast. Shamshaire picked up on the hint and started to really work her breasts with his tongue. He played a pattern, licking around the aureole and think lightly biting the nipple, he moved from one breast to another as his hand reached her outer lips. He ran a finger through her slit, teasing her while causing more lubrication and moan from Kaylin.
But she pushed him off and said in a soft husky voice, “Off with the clothes lover, it’s your turn.”
Shamshaire was not one to make a lady wait and was quickly wearing nothing but his tented boxers. Seeing him already up and the wetness of pre-cum at his tip, Kaylin got up and pushed him down onto the couch in a seated position.
“Here Leo, lift your hips a bit,” commanded the girl, and when Shamshaire complied she stripped his boxers to his ankles and then completely off.
“Kay, you don’t have to just becauawww…ooh yahhh,” he moaned as Kaylin took him in her mouth before he could finish his sentence. She only took the head in her mouth though and swirled her tongue around it as she used her right hand to jack him off, her left massaging his balls.
Shamshaire had never had a girl go down on him before. Although he always enjoyed tasting them, none of his few high school girlfriends had reciprocated, so he was now in uncharted territories of pleasure. Every nerve in the head of his cock was sparking, and when Kaylin probed his hole with the tip of her tongue he bucked into her mouth. She however didn’t miss a beat and kept swirling, pumping and massaging. After barely two minutes he felt the itch at the base of his cock and the pressure in his balls.
“K-aahh, haa, Kay, I…I’m ccaaaahhh…” He tried to let her know he was about to come but she didn’t listen and letting him out for just long enough said, “Just let go, don’t worry.” And did he ever! Never before had he come like that, it was as if every internal part of his body was trying to force itself out of his cock and all the while Kaylin kept swirling her tongue, massaging, pumping and now swallowing.
“Rrraaauuughhhh,” he screamed as he came and came. Even after he was emptied he felt pulse after pulse through him as Kaylin pulled everything he had to give, and then he knew nothing.
He regained consciousness seconds later to feel Kaylin’s lush lips against his. She pulled her head back just a little and whispered, “Now you can last a long time, Leo; you were so revved I had to take care of you.”
“By God, Kay, that was, that was the best I have ever-” Shamshaire was silenced by a finger to his lips.
“Ssh…I know, I don’t think I have had better either, but now let me take you farther.” She moved back down and taking him in her mouth again quickly brought him back to readiness. Then she straddled him and grabbed his cock.
“Kay, wait, I don’t have a rubber with; I came here actually expecting to study.”
“You silly boy, I’ve been on the pill since I got to college. Now just sit back and relax.”
She ran one hand through his hair as her other ran his head along her nether lips, and then positioning it correctly slowly sank down.
“Aaahh…” they both sighed together as the head slipped in. It had been almost a year for Shamshaire and at least two months for Kaylin, so they were both very ready. Shamshaire was lost to the world. He had thought her mouth was wonderful but this, as she sank lower and finally bottomed out, was definitely better than anything he had ever felt. Only one could compare, he had loved her but…he was determined to forget her. Yet even as Kaylin started to move up and down, Shamshaire started to sob silently.
“Shairu, darling what’s wrong,” asked Kaylin, still fully impaled on Shamshaire’s member, “Tell me, tell me now.”
“Its, its just that, it hasn’t felt like this since…”
“Tell me,” she commanded as she started moving again.
“I, aahhh, I loved her…aahh, yes, but she, oh god!”
“Yes, yes, yes, my Leo, my Lion, aahhh…” Kaylin cried out as she came on Shamshaire’s member. Her sex spasmed from the inside and massaged every inch of his cock. Yet she still moved, drawing more pleasure, from Shamshaire, his member stretched her width although it was not the longest she had had, and she felt every vein, and wrinkle as they scraped the walls of her sex. Then came the flood again, and the wealth of lubrication allowed Shamshaire to start moving himself and he set an excruciatingly slow pace; he needed to finish his story.
“That was beautiful, my Lion, oh…, what were you saying?” Asked Kaylin as she slowed, to Shamshaire’s pace, recovering from her climax
“She cheated on meaahhh,” he cut himself short with a moan as a small after spasm of her orgasm flowed through her and around his cock.
“I took her back and…she, did it again,…”
“Oh baby, I’m sorry, I’ll make you forget, I promise, I’ll make you forget everything,” and she did. Refusing to accept Shamshaire’s pace any longer Kaylin started to move up and down on him faster and faster. As he parted his lips to moan he clamped her mouth down on his and with her arms put his arms around her.
She put her arms at his side, somehow she knew him that well, and stroked his flanks causing him to buck hard into her. She pressed her chest against his and felt the forest of hair tickle her nipples, but her attention was focused between her legs.
Shamshaire actually thought he was in heaven. No pleasure could be greater than Kaylin. She made good on her promise, squeezing her vaginal muscles around him every so often and cumming twice again, she brought him to the edge with her soft velvet sheath repeatedly, but each time she felt his member twitch she backed off just enough. She held him, toyed with him like that for more than half and hour, keeping Shamshaire in pleasurable agony while letting herself go several times. Then finally she picked a pace even faster than before. Her hands on his sides coaxing, softly inviting him, her pulsing pussy, up and down, up and down, on him, and her mouth rarely leaving his and then only for air. Up down in out faster harder pulsing wet the heat unbearable and then finally, release.
I was the greatest he had ever felt, ever. He had thought that earlier her mouth was the ultimate but now, all he could do was drop his head back and gasp. He felt her around him, pulsing again, but little else clearly. His whole body was orgasmic, not just his cock. Her nipples on his chest felt like the tips of heated iron, her tongue fucked his mouth and gave him sensations he did not know were possible. He pumped his seed into her, not as much as he had given her earlier but still more than usual, and she milked him with her muscle, pulling more and more. Nor did she let up, keeping the frantic pace and prolonging his pleasure.
His eyes had almost rolled back into his head and his arms lay limply by his sides as he gasped one last time, “KAAAAAAAYYYYYYYLLLLLL!”
“Ahhhh,” he sighed as the last tremors ran through him. His cock was overly sensitive from the orgasm but Kaylin still kept going. She kept him hard and the sensations now were so intense that the head of his cock hurt as much as it had pleased him just minutes ago.
“Ahhh, Kay, wait….ahh, just a sec…ahhhaaaa,” protested Shamshaire.
“Ssh, lover boy, I am going to keep you up for at least one more time…” and again she kept her word taking him as she had done before, right to the edge and then letting him down repeatedly before she finally allowed him to erupt again like a volcano inside her.
Shamshaire, barely lucid, the pleasure having completely conquered him, was slipping into sleep still inside of Kaylin when he remembered.
“Kay…you need to know one thing,…”
“What it is it lover?”
“I have, aahhh, a…one strike rule. If either one of us cheats it’s over, period.”
“Hahaha,” her laugh tinkled, and to Shamshaire sounded like payal, “Don’t worry my Leo, as long as I get my fill of you nothing could tear me away, I swear.” With her oath echoing in his ears Shamshaire let slumber take him. Slumber in her arms was a thousand times better than any other kind and he looked forward to waking up later, still inside her…
Shamshaire returned to the real world from his memory as he pulled into the drive way of the house that Leila shared with three of her friends. It was a decent sized three bedroom. Two of the girls had taken the master bedroom letting Leila and another each have her own room. As he parked the car and walked to the door his mind was still running at break-neck speed and his stomach was giving him fits.
‘She had sworn damn it, and yet she had let that, that son of a bitch take her to the edge! Just like Krist-NO! I will not start that again. That is over, done, finished, and so is Kaylin…but, how will I ever find that place again without her?’
He knocked on the door and heard footsteps approaching.
‘I have to finish it, its best for me and I gave my word. Everyone knows my rule, how could I face them if…oh my stomach, damn! I don’t want to let her go, it, it hurts too much…’
The door opened and Leila opened the door to see Shamshaire supporting himself on the threshold, holding his stomach with one hand.
“Shaire, what’s wrong,” she asked pulling him inside hurriedly and shutting the door.
“Uaagghh,” he grunted, “The bathroom, get me to the bathroom.” So Leila led him to the bathroom where he promptly began vomiting. He made it to the toilet, barely, but some had gotten on his shirt so Leila unbuttoned it and pulled it off of him dumping it into the tub. He was going full force now, hunched over the toilet. Leila simply there at one edge of the tub and rubbed his back, holding him up a little so that he did not actually touch the toilet.
When he had finally finished, he sat back against the tub, his head resting against Leila’s thigh. She reached out and grabbed a towel and wiped off his face and chest, but Shamshaire did not move, he just sat there catatonic again.
‘What has happened? Do I love her? Would I have just puked my guts out if I didn’t? If I love her then I have to take her back; but I can’t do that. Why would she have let him? Why? But is that what affected me the most what so hurt me that I ended up on the floor of a bathroom having a friends wipe the filth off of me, or is it that I can’t imagine not taking her back, is it that I can’t imagine not holding her again, is it…..’
“Shairu. Shairu!” Leila said loudly, snapping Shamshaire out of his reverie. “C’mon, get up. You have to at least wash your face.”
“Oh, yeah, Leila, listen. Thanks for being here for me; I don’t know what I would do without you,” said Shamshaire washing his face. When he was done Leila led him to her room and giving him a cup of coffee told him to sit wait there while she put his shirt in the washer.
Shamshaire looked around the room. It was not unfamiliar to him; he and Leila had been the best of friends since meeting in their second semester in a physics class. She was also a science major, unsure whether to do physics or chemistry, and as such her course load was high because she had to take classes for both. They studied together often because they had so many of the same classes, but lately more of his time had gone to Kaylin and his research. Leila understood though, she never bugged him about his lab work like Kaylin did, and she understood that he wanted to spend time with Kaylin.
He knew she had feelings for him. Leila had been obvious about that from the first time they met, but her upbringing precluded her from any action. She, like him, came from a traditional Muslim family, hers being Jordanian though, not Indian. Whatever feelings she had she always held them in check; never had he known her to have a “moment of weakness.” And as far as he knew she was an honest to goodness virgin! He remembered once while taking a break from studying with friends they had teased her a bit about never having boyfriends. When someone had said something about the rarity of a twenty-year old virgin, Leila had turned away from everybody and buried her face in Shamshaire’s shoulder. Although no one else could, he could see that she had done this to hide the blush that had colored her face and had concluded that the comment had hit the mark. Shamshaire of course never asked her about it, but he had heard nothing in regards to her having boyfriends so he assumed her purity.
Her being single was not due to a lack of interest by the opposite sex. She had beautiful Middle Easter features, shapely eyes dark with long eyelashes that matched her long black hair. Her skin was a perfect light brown that gave her color but let her blush be seen. What’s more, her figure was perfect, not that she ever wore anything but conservative clothes, having a small waist flaring hips and an appropriately sized chest. Nothing in itself was spectacular but the exact proportions, as if taken from an artist’s drawing, served to make the whole package spectacular. He had thought about breaking his second rule to ask her out, but was unsure whether she would even date, considering her family. It was a moot point though, because Kaylin had pulled him in first.
When she returned from her laundry room, Leila had Shamshaire sit on her bed while she sat across from him in her desk chair. He sipped his coffee silently when she began.
“So Shaire, what’s wrong? I have never seen you like this,” Leila asked, her fear and empathy for him evident in her voice. Shamshaire had always been terribly strong and stalwart. She admired his focus on his education almost as much as she loved his nature. Nothing seemed to shake him or move him. He had almost single handedly led a petition against a professor, something unheard of at Cal, and when they had threatened him with expulsion he hadn’t flinched. Now he was suddenly a wreck. She could see the pain in his eyes and nearly despaired; she hated to see him this way.
“Well Leila, I broke my word once already and am being punished for it,” Shamshaire started slowly; “I never should have agreed to date her. I had said to myself, no girls till grad school. But I just couldn’t resist her. Now, now, I am paying for my weakness.”
“Shairu, whatever it is, it can’t be entirely your fault. Now tell me what happened between you and Kaylin.”
Shamshaire took a deep breath and began again, “Well you know, how I haven’t seen her in a week right.”
“Yeah, so, you guys talk every night.”
“Well, today I wanted to surprise her and…” he went on to tell Leila the whole story, everything except his idle intention of bedding several freshmen that very night. Each sentence was excruciating for him and by the time he got to knocking on her door he was shaking and tears were beginning to form at the edges of his eyes.
“…and then you opened the door. What you don’t know,” he said putting the coffee mug aside and dropping his head into his hands, “Is that as I was sitting there on the floor in your bathroom I couldn’t decide whether what she did had made me sick or the idea of being,… of being without her…” He finally broke down. Tears streamed down his face and Leila jumped off her chair and went to him. She put his head to her chest and cradled him as he sobbed. Rocking back and forth slightly she just held him, only letting go long enough to put his arms around her. She could think of nothing to say, but had many thoughts beside.
How could she do this to him? She had him completely; he may not realize it but he loves her. Surely she could see that. Damn her! Damn her for ever laying eyes on him! If only I had realized that all he needed was for someone to pull him in, if only I had attacked him like she did. One look at his eyes and she was after him; the damn hussy! She couldn’t be happy with just him though; she couldn’t understand that he needed to take care of his education first. Damn her!
And now what do I tell him. Do I say, “Give her another chance, you obviously love her,” or do I tell him to let her go to hell. If he takes her back she’ll just do it again, how could he trust her. But letting her go is obviously tearing him apart.
If only I could…well why not? I’ve been waiting for him to ask me out since a week after I first met him. And I’m my own woman! The hell with what the family thinks. Besides, he’s a nice Muslim boy, they couldn’t object to a serious relationship on anything but impropriety and they need not know everything.
And you know what; that bitch doesn’t deserve him anyway; all she’ll do is hurt him again. God help me but…
She had been rocking him for almost half an hour when she made her decision. Shamshaire, by then had stopped sobbing, and was simply clinging to her. He felt wonderful in her arms, safe and warm, he knew he could always turn to her. She shifted her body slightly, but Shamshaire didn’t move, he just kept his eyes shut and basked in her warmth. He barely realized it when her left arm, which had been around him, left his back.
Leila, with her left hand under his chin, tilted Shamshaire’s face upwards and lowered her lips to his mouth. She pressed them against his lips and softly forced her tongue into his mouth. He reacted automatically, without thinking, and they reveled in the feelings each gave the other. Their hands began to roam their bodies and passion was ignited. Then suddenly Shamshaire stiffened and pulled away, holding a startled Leila by the shoulders.
“No. This isn’t right,” Shamshaire said, looking Leila in the eyes, “What about your family! I of all people understand that the honor of a family is in the keeping of its daughters! You have to understand this just can’t be right now. I have too much on my mind! Too much!”
He turned to leave and Leila followed him out to the front of the house.
“Just don’t go back to her damn it! She doesn’t deserve you!” Leila shouted after him but he was not listening. Not even realizing that he was still without a shirt, he got in his car and for the second time that day drove off without any clue as to where he was going. She turned back inside, shutting the door, and as she walked back to her room she thought, ‘I, I’ve scared him, I just hope not back to her…’
He just drove, from one street to
another; he passed the lab and almost turned onto
‘To just sail off, chasing the forever setting sun; that would be fine. To hell with people. People betray, people lie, people cheat, but the sea doesn’t lie. Oh, it’ll play games with you, and if you aren’t paying attention it will cast you down cruelly. Yet you can’t fault it, that is its nature, and it never claimed to be docile, despite its name. Oh, to just sail off,’ he thought, ‘And to leave everything behind.’
Shamshaire often came up here to think, but tonight that was the last thing he wanted to do. So shaking himself out of his day dream, he got his cell phone out and dialed his wildest friend, Dan “Wildebeest” McCarrey.
“Eeyyy Leo, what’s up.”
“Hey bud I wanted to know who’s having a party tonight. I feel like lettin’ the lead out!”
“Whoa, Shamshaire wants to party? The devil must be putting on ice skates! What kind of party do you want dude? There is a film festival at the APFA, TAU House is having a bash, and Theta Epsilon Lambda is having there spring Luau.”
“First of all Dan hell is-”
“Yeah, yeah, I know hell is cold! I read the damn thing too, okay. And it wasn’t that good! Now tell me where you’ll be.”
“Well, you tell me where you think there will be the most girls.”
“What about Kay?”
“Don’t ask. I need to get my mind off of her, and others…”
“I am not sure I know what you are talking about but I am gonna be at Chez. They are having a thing to celebrate the end of the year. A lot of freshman and new admits are gonna be there.”
“Sounds good when do they start?”
“Well, let’s see. It’s about six right now so they start in an hour. But you know how it goes; the real action doesn’t start till about nine at the earliest.”
“Aahh shit that’s two hours what do I do till then?”
“How ‘bout you come by and we smoke a bowl, you know some mellow stuff, it’ll just give us a soft buzz and wear off by the time we get to Chez.”
“C’mon dude you know I don’t do that shit.”
“Yeah, sure. I also know that you don’t cheat on your girls. Don’t ask about Kay you say? I may be partier but I’m not stupid; I did get into this school on academics you know. Now whatever the fuck happened between you two is none of my business unless you decide to tell me, but I know that a good smoke will make you feel much better.”
“Well, we’ll see. I’m gonna come over anyway. I need a shirt to wear.”
“Now you’re really confusing me.”
“Whatever, sure you can borrow a shirt, buuuut…you have to take at least one hit.”
“Yeah, okay. I’ll be there soon.”
Shamshaire hung up and then dialed another number.
“When are you coming home Shairu, its going to be dark soon.”
“Hm, well, that’s what I wanted to talk about. I was studying with Dan, you know the AstroPhys major with the crazy hair.”
“Oh, the one who looks like a hippie.” Shamshaire laughed at that comment because of how true it was.
“Yeah, that’s him. He invited me to a party he is going to. I might be out pretty late and if I don’t feel like driving I’ll crash at his place.”
“Okay, that’s fine, but be careful, you know I worry about you at these parties. Young people do the stupidest things.”
“Don’t worry so much. I won’t pull any stunts.”
“Fine then, but make sure to call us in the morning as soon as you get up, okay.”
“Sure thing, love you.”
“You to babe, bye”
‘Well, here I go. I’ll drown my sorrows in some strange girl’s arms. Oh well, better than going home and crying myself to bed,’ he thought to himself.
So Shamshaire headed down to Dan’s apartment. He, like Leila, lived on the south side of campus. His parents had money though, so he had a one bedroom apartementall to himself, which was good because few people could have lived with his smoking and drinking. When Shamshaire got there Dan had his bong ready to go and a clean shirt both waiting for his friend.
Shamshaire had experimented a bit in high school, so he was a stranger to pot, but he hadn’t had any in almost two years. After his first hit, Dan convinced him to have another, and pretty soon both were relaxed into mellow highs and Shamshaire was telling Dan everything.
“Whoa man. This is some heavy shit; finding out Kaylin is cheating and Leila coming on to you in the same day.”
“Yeah, you can’t say anything though. Especially about Leila, her reputation has to stay clean.”
I know how to keep my trap shut.” And Shamshaire knew he did; Dan had access to
nearly every type of contraband in the
“So what you doin’ about Kay? I say you dump her and give Leila a shot. You know she’s had a crush on you for over a year.”
“I knew she was interested, but not this much. And anyway, she’s the kind you marry not have fun with. I couldn’t pressure her; it’d fuck up everything. I could never look her in the eyes again.”
“But she came onto you.”
“Maybe she was just trying to make me forget about Kay for awhile.”
“That ain’t like her.”
“Yeah, hey after the party can I crash here?”
“No prob. Hey let’s check out TAU before goin over to Chez. I want to say hi to a couple people.”
“You mean you have to drop some shit off, eh. Sure what time is it?”
“’Bout quarter past eight and yeah that’s what I mean. Man I hang out with you too much, you know my mind.”
“Okay, lets walk up there. It’s not far, and I don’t want to deal with parking or driving while I still have a buzz.”
They left and walked out and up to
Shamshaire wandered around, stopping to chat with a few people he knew, and was waiting for Dan when he saw Derrick getting a drink. Whether it was the pot, the atmosphere or simply his rage, Shamshaire did something he had never done before in his life – he started a fight.
Walking up to Derrick Shamshaire tapped him on the shoulder and when he turned he deck him. A full roundhouse to his jaw struck Derrick and he fell backwards, barely missing the drink table, but spilling his own, and hit the ground.
“I’ll teach you to make moves on my girl you dirty mother fucker!” Screamed Shamshaire as he went down and grabbed Derrick by his shirt. Then he reared back and hit him again. By now the other partiers had realized they had a fight on their hands and a couple, one of them a house member, moved in to separate the two.
Dan got there just as Shamshaire was being pulled off a dazed and in pain Derrick, and thinking they were trying something with Shamshaire he yelled, “Hey let go of him damn it! That’s my boy!”
“I’m gonna kill that mother fucker!” Screamed Shamshaire as he struggled
“Fuck you Dan,” yelled the house member (Shamshaire swore Dan knew everybody), “This asshole started shit with the dude on the floor. Get him the fuck outta here before some idiot calls the cops.” By now several house members had arrived and were helping to restrain a maddened Shamshaire.
“Man fuck you!” Retorted Dan, “Let him go and we’ll jet! Leo! Fuck man, quit fightin’ em!”
“Lemme go! I won’t go after the fuck,” shouted Shamshaire. The TAU house members released him, but stayed between him and Derrick. He went to Dan who was standing near the door but just before leaving he shouted “If I see your face again mother fucker you’ll never wake up!” pointing accusingly at the still dazed and bloodied Derrick. Dan grabbed his arm and dragged him out the door though, before he could aggravate himself too much again.
Once they were outside, they walked quickly back to Dan’s apartment. There Dan picked up his favorite pipe and another bag of weed. Shamshaire had not said a word since leaving the TAU house party and Dan didn’t press him; he knew that Shamshaire was not completely in his right mind and didn’t want to drag him down any further.
They got in Shamshaire’s car, a full-cab, short bed, black truck, and headed out to Chez. The trip was short but on the way Shamshaire let Dan know the reason he had attacked Derrick and who Derrick was. Dan simply accepted it as something that needed to be done. Regardless of what happened with Kaylin, Shamshaire had at least maintained his honor by paying Derrick his due.
Chez was a large building near the southwest part of Campus. It had more than twice the number of residents as TAU and the parties were also proportionately large. Tonight was their annual drink theme party. What that meant was that one whole wing of the co-op was had each of its rooms dedicated to a specific drink or family of drinks. The rest of the house was a combination of dancing, drinking, drugs, and there were of course several rooms dedicated to the carnal pleasures that are so much more fun with a bit of a buzz.
The two friends entered and were given a quick tour of the party and then like before, were left to themselves. They found a hotbox (a room without any ventilation so that the pot smoke could completely surround the occupants) and lit up a bowl. By the time they had a good buzz going it was nine-thirty and both Shamshaire and Dan decided they were thirsty. Walking around, they found “The Beer Room,” one of the larger rooms in which there four kegs and many bottles of micro brew to be sampled. Somebody by the door gave them each a beer. Dan giving Shamshaire a perplexed look said, “Hey man I thought you didn’t drink?”
Shamshaire looked at the open bottle for a moment as if contemplating it and then gulped the whole thing down in one draught.
“I do tonight,” he said throwing the bottle against the wall, “Now where the fuck is the hard stuff; I don’t want to wake up till Monday!”
“Woohooo!” whooped Dan, “We gonna GO! tonight!”
So the two friends left and found a
room more to Shamshaire’s taste. “The Royal Room” contained a selection of
Scotch, Whiskey, Bourbon, and
Taking a draught of his bottle Shamshaire asked Dan, “So where are the freshmen, bud? I wanna bag one of them and a new admit, tonight.”
“Whoa there, by the time you finish that bottle you’ll barely be able to stand up let alone get it up,” replied Dan with a chuckle.
“Man fuck you! If you won’t help me I’ll just go find’em on my own.”
“Hold up now. I didn’t say I wouldn’t help, after all, I want a piece of ass tonight too.”
“Alright then lets go,” said Shamshaire as he got up. And Dan agreed. As the two were leaving the room the barkeep, who was actually just a house member in charge of the liquor in that room, yelled at the two, “Hey you can’t take those bottles outta here.”
“You gonna stop me mutha fucka!” Shamshaire yelled back as he turned around. His eyes were coal once again, the fury he had felt hours earlier at the sight of Derrick not completely forgotten. The barkeep was not stupid, he saw a well built, half drunk, and obviously angry man glaring at him, so he backed off shaking his head and let the two friends leave.
Dan and Shamshaire went back to the
hotbox room, and asked a couple of good looking girls to join them. The girls,
one a blonde with sky blue eyes and a decent figure, the other a busty redhead
with a slightly pronounced ass, accepted the invitation since Dan was supplying
the pot. They all chatted each other up and the boys learned that the Redhead
was named Toby and the blonde was called Terry. As the boys had hoped the girls
were just finishing their freshmen year at
Dan being his devious self pulled out a different bag of weed. This new stash was his favorite. It was strong and mellow; it never led to hallucinations or paranoia but completely relaxed and opened up the user. He put this into one of the pipes lying on the floor and handed it to the girls while he and Shamshaire lit up weaker stuff. As all four had already had plenty to drink, and the boys shared their liquor with the girls, the group was buzzed within half an hour and the boys had started their attempts to whisk the girls off to a “more private” part of the party. Succeeding after another bowl and a couple of beers, the foursome moved off to find one of the reserved rooms.
At Chez there were no do not disturb signs, so when couples or more wanted some privacy they simply hung the girl’s bra out on the door knob. After skipping several occupied rooms the group found one that was empty and entered.
There was little pretense among them. They all knew why they were there and what they wanted. It was not a time for slow seduction or sweet words, so they all stripped to their socks quickly and were on each other. Dan nearly threw Terry onto the bed as Toby lay down on the carpet and pulled Shamshaire to her. Dan diving between Terry’s legs started eating her. Being drunk and high he was not exactly coordinated but Terry’s intoxication magnified her sensations and she was soon near climax anyway. Shamshaire did not have the same luck with Toby. He had almost fallen on her and in his state barely managed to get a tit in his mouth. Hearing Terry’s moans and Toby’s frustrated sighs decided him to get between his sex partner’s legs. Even though he was farther gone than Dan, Shamshaire’s innate ability to please women, having been cultivated by his girlfriends, namely Kaylin of late, allowed him to warm up Toby very quickly. Soon the two girls were moaning loudly and eventually came nearly simultaneously. Terry was a relatively had a relatively calm orgasm. She seemed to just slide into her climax and then slide out again with only a low grown. Toby however, was wild. Shamshaire, having gotten his act together, had two fingers in her and his mouth locked on her clit. When she burst fluid gushed past Shamshaire’s fingers and onto the carpet and her hips nearly threw him backwards because she bucked so violently against his mouth.
Having taken care of his girl at least once Dan was ready to go. So removing his head from Terry pussy, he yelled at Shamshaire, “Yo Leo, you got any rubbers?”
“FUCK!” Terry and Shamshaire screamed in unision.
“Damn it Dan,” Shamshaire yelled at his friend, “What the fuck’re you thinking forgetting the rubbers. Get yer damn pants on and go get a couple!”
“You only need enough for yourself Danny-boy,” said Toby, “I’m on the pill.”
“Then what am I waiting for?” Quipped Shamshaire.
As Dan got his pants on and left grumbling, Shamshaire entered Toby. He was slow at first, adjusting to the feel of a new pussy, after having been with Kaylin for so long. But his pent up rage and lust soon took over and he was slamming hard into Toby who just lay there grunting with Shamshaire’s every thrust.
Dan got back quickly; apparently someone had had the foresight to leave condoms in the bathrooms. He dropped his pants again, and after hastily putting on one of the condoms, climbed onto the bed between Terry’s legs. He, like Shamshaire got in quickly was soon on a steady pace.
Toby got louder as she got closer to release. She was on her back and Shamshaire was pounding into her but was supporting himself on his arms and not her body. Toby wanted him deeper and harder so she wrapped her legs around him and pulled him close. She had been digging into his chest with her hands but now she dropped one to a breast and the other to her clit. Flicking, rubbing, and pinching the sensitive nub, she suddenly tensed under Shamshaire, let out a scream and then went limp.
Shamshaire, had not cum, and was still pounding away when Toby came back.
“Sham, shaire. Stop, stop,” she pleaded, “I can’t take any
more, I gotta sleep.”
“Fuck! I haven’t gone!”
Just then Dan reached his end and gasping, collapsed onto Terry.
“Uhhhh damn! I was almost there!”
Shamshaire similarly frustrated got off of Toby and went to the bed. He pulled Dan off Terry and pushed him on to the other side of the bed. Then finding the other condom on the floor pulled that onto his member. He pulled Terry to the edge of the bed and lifting her legs over his shoulders rammed his cock home. The rutted like animals. There was no real rhythm; they just slammed at each other until Terry started to spasm. A red blush spread its way down her body from her neck, to between her breasts, and then to her mound. Her pussy gripped and milked Shamshaire’s cock and she came for much longer than Toby. She finished with a sigh and Shamshaire, still frustrated kept going. Terry however, had drank more than anyone and wanted to stop.
“Enough, enough,” she gasped at Shamshaire’s thrusts. “I’ve got to stop, my head hurts too much and I am drying up.”
“God damn it! It’s supposed to be the guys that leave the girls frustrated! Fuck!”
“Man shut up.” Said Dan over his shoulder. “My head is splitting. I’m gonna sleep it off a bit here. Get me before you leave.”
“Yeah man, sure thing.”
Shamshaire pushed Terry over next to Dan and covered them with the sheet. Then he took the blanket and a pillow over to Toby and made her more comfortable too before leaving.
Stepping out of the room he left Terry’s bra on the door so that no one would disturb the trio and so that he could find Dan again. He visited the bathroom and after reliving himself he washed his face and looked in the mirror. He recognized the face he saw, save for the bags under the eyes which in themselves were sad. He splashed more cold water on himself and left. Then he made his way back to the main area of the party. Despite his initial attack on the Johnny Walker and the pot, Shamshaire had eased off once he and Dan had met the girls, so he was still quite lucid. The cold water had helped also and now he had one thing on his mind – getting off. The he saw her.
Janice had her first taste of pot and vodka that night. As she sat there curled up in the corner of the sofa her head hurt terribly and the loud rock music only made it worse. Her long blonde hair cascaded around her smooth bare shoulders. She was wearing a blue frilly blouse and blue jeans, but sitting there she felt naked. Too many of the older guys had tried to get to go to one of the rooms with them and she was scared. One of them had even grabbed her but when she screamed a several people had turned around and the fellow, afraid what others would say or do, had let her go. But now she was getting sleepy and she was scared she would pass out and something bad would happen to her. Her older sister Maureen, who was a new admit, had brought her along to the party but Janice couldn’t find her now. She wanted to go home but she was afraid to ask anybody at the party for a ride; who knew what would happen once a boy her in his car?
Shamshaire saw her huddled up on the couch. Her hair was so golden it seemed to him that sunlight flowed down over her shoulders. He could barely make out her figure, but it seemed to be good. Her eyes though made his decision for him. She seemed like a deer in headlights, afraid and wanting to run, but also afraid to move. Seeing her he was not longer sure what he wanted, but he knew he wanted her in some way. So, feeling somewhat awkward, Shamshaire went to her and sat beside her on the couch.
“What’s your name?” he asked weakly. He had lost what little ability he had at pick-up lines in the last two years. Earlier, if it had not been for Dan he never would have been able to get the two girls to find a room. Janice didn’t answer so Shamshaire asked again, “What’s your name? I’m Shamshaire, but most people call me Leo since my name means lion.”
“I, I’m Janice,” she replied hesitantly. The fact that he had not used a pick-up line like the other guys made her feel a bit more comfortable and he had told her his name, so she thought he probably wouldn’t try anything if she could tell people his name.
“Why are you all curled up like this in a corner? Are you feeling alright?” he asked with genuine concern.
“I have a headache.”
“Then why are you here with all these people and loud music, come on lets go find some place quiet.”
“NO! I am not going anywhere with you,” she shouted, and a few people turned to see what was going on.
“Hey, take it easy, you’re the one who said you had a headache. Why don’t you just go home?”
“I don’t feel like it,” was Janice’s answer. Shamshaire heard that and realized that something was not right. The girl looked quite young anyway, that was what had caused him to notice her initially; she looked fresh.
“Hmm, bullshit. What’s really going on. Are you on some weird trip or something.”
“No! All I had was some pot.” She couldn’t understand why she was still talking to this fellow. At first he had seemed like all the other guys who she knew just wanted to get in her pants, but now, it seemed like he cared. That and there was a sadness in his eyes that told her he wouldn’t hurt her.
“Whatever. Tell me why you won’t go home. You obviously don’t want to be here anymore.”
“I told you I-”
“I heard what you told me. Now tell me what’s really going on. You look too young to be here anyway, how old are you?”
“I’m, wait why the hell do you care?”
“Because I have a younger brother and I wouldn’t want him at these type of parties yet.”
“I, I came with my sister Maureen.”
“Okay, that’s a start. Now where is Maureen and can she take you home?”
“I can’t find her. She was my ride.
She just got into
“Fuck, a new admit, that puts you in high school. How the hell did they let you in here?”
“My sister told the guy at the door that I was also a senior, I’m actually just a sophomore.”
“Fuck, son of a bitch. The prettiest girl here and I can’t do shit! Fuck!” Shamshaire was pissed now. He always had a soft spot for pretty much anybody younger than him. Seeing this girl here like this reminded him of his younger brother and of his cousin’s daughter. He decided he had to do something.
“Listen Janice, I have a car parked near here. I can give you a lift home.”
“I don’t think so. I’m not getting in a car with anybody but Maureen.”
“Damn it girl. She’s probably passed out naked next to some guy!”
“Don’t say that, she wouldn’t!”
“What do you think is going to happen to you if you fall asleep on this couch? I’ve seen guys do it before. They find a chick that’s passed out, get off, and then leave. Yeah, I see that look on your face. You’ve thought of that. Let’s get you the fuck home.”
Shamshaire grabbed her and stood her up.
“No! Let go of me!”
“Shit! Here!” he said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a flip out knife. “Here, take this. If I try anything stab me with it!”
“No! Leave me alone.” At this Shamshaire took out his wallet and withdrew his lab ID.
“Damn it! Here, this is my lab ID. Take that too; give it back to me after I get you home. If I try anything throw it out the car window; when they don’t get it back they’ll arrest me. That badge gets me into protected areas; I’m toast if I can’t account for it!”
“I, I don’t know.”
“That’s all I got, you can take your chances here, or come with me. Whatever you decide tell me quick, I gotta go find a friend and take him home with me.”
“I, I’ll come along.”
“Good, come on then,” Shamshaire said as he led Janice towards the room where Dan and the two girls were still sleeping. When they found Terry’s bra and Shamshaire opened the door Janice started to move away.
“I thought we were going to your car! You just wanted to get me into one these rooms. You asshole.”
“Damn it girl! My friend is passed out in there. You don’t have to come inside. Wait in the hall, it’ll only take a second.”
Shamshaire went inside the room and shook awake Dan who was not happy at having to move with his hangover. Reluctantly he got out of bed and with Shamshaire’s help he staggered out into the hallway.
“Janice, meet Dan. Dan, Janice.” Shamshaire introduced Dan and said to Janice, “He’d shake your hand or something if he weren’t so damn hung over.”
Then to Dan, “Hey, can you walk
“Man, fuck you. Yeah I can walk.”
“Good then lets go.”
The three odd companions made there way out of the building and walked the two blocks to Shamshaire’s car. Janice had to help him get Dan into the back seat where the hung over fellow promptly fell asleep. Janice sat up front with Shamshaire as they headed out.
“So where are we going?” he asked Janice.
“Huh, oh yeah. Well go to Kensington. I’ll give directions once we are in the hills.”
“Are you sure you should be driving?”
“No. The drinks I had at the part are the first in five years. The drugs the first in several months.”
“What! How can you hold it so well.”
“I eat a
lot. Mostly breads, meats and few vegetables thrown in for the hell of it.”
“Whatever. I just hope you don’t get us killed.”
“So do I.”
climbed the steep roads of the
Janice looked at Shamshaire and said, “Here it is. I don’t know what my sister’ll do when she can’t find me.”
“You have a cell phone right?”
“Well, she’ll probably call you one that. Where the hell are your parents anyway. Why didn’t you just call them?”
gone till Sunday afternoon. They went to some spa place up in
“And they thought your sister could handle things with them gone, eh?”
“Well, lets hope that they don’t find out. Or your sister will probably not go to another party until she moves very far away from home. Here take this,” Shamshaire said writing his brother’s cell phone number on the back of his lab business card. “This is my brother’s phone number. Give him a call if you feel like it. I’d bet he’d love to take you out.”
“Uh, okay. Here is your knife and badge. Thanks so much, I don’t know what I would have done. I sure as heck didn’t want to try the bus and walking would have taken all night. I probably should have asked you this before but why did you help me?”
“Don’t worry about it. Let’s just say I did a couple of things earlier today that I needed to make up for. Listen, call my brother, he not a creep, and he’s a lot better looking then me anyway. And stay the hell away from parties for God’s sake. In three or four years maybe you’ll be ready but not yet. G’night.”
After watching Janice enter the house and close the door behind her Shamshaire pulled back into the road and headed down, out of the hills to Dan’s apartment. He always had a good sense of direction and had memorized the location and address of the house. He hoped Janice would call his brother. Shakeel was sixteen and didn’t socialize enough with girls. Shamshaire hadn’t lied when he said he though Shakeel was better looking then himself, but Shakeel always seemed more interested in computers and discus than the opposite sex. Having a girl as pretty as Janice ask him out would, if nothing else, give his self confidence a big boost.
When they finally got to Dan’s apartment, Shamshaire found parking, and then half dragged, half helped Dan get into bed. Then Shamshaire himself crashed on the couch. It was in the morning.
Shamshaire woke up to the sound of his cell phone ringing in the hip pocket of his pants. Answering it he heard his mother on the other end.
“Shairu I told you to call.”
“You said call when I woke up. Dan and I got to bed at almost . What time is it now?”
“Its . I-”
“Then you understand why I was still asleep.”
“You need to get home you know.”
“Yeah. I gotta get Dan up first. Someone puked all over my shirt so I am going to have to leave it here for the wash. I’ll get it later. In the mean time I’m gonna borrow one of Dan’s.”
“That is nasty. You should just throw the damn thing away. Its only a shirt after all.”
“Yeah, I’ll see. Listen I’ll be home in about an hour, maybe an hour and a half. I’m gonna have some coffee before heading out.”
“Okay, I’ll see you then. Bye.”
After rousing Dan to get a clean shirt and drinking some coffee Shamshaire headed home. He felt terrible, it was not just the after effects of the party; the clarity brought by morning coffee came with all the memories of the painful afternoon before the wild night. ‘What do I do? What, do, I, do?’ thought Shamshaire as he passed through the Caldecott Tunnel. ‘Do I make the same choice I did before? Do I let myself fall into Leila’s arm; it would be so easy. Oh God, why can’t it just be easy?’
The week passed in excruciating slowness for Shamshaire. He only went to class and studied. Kaylin called twice, and emailed him several times but he ignored her. Leila also called, but that was only about his shirt, which Shamshaire told her to throw out. Neither of them mentioned Friday afternoon. Then on Thursday morning, around seven-thirty Shamshaire got a phone call.
“Hey Leo what’s happening?!”
“Nothing much David. What are you doing up this early. I thought I was the only crazy ass awake right now.”
“Ahh, see, I have planning to do. Because tomorrow night is our bi-annual before finals bash.”
“Aw shit I forgot.”
“Yeah well, you haven’t been hanging out at all this week. I woulda reminded you but you also don’t check your e-mail that much. Anyway, the whole gang’s going to be there so you had better come.”
“Ahhh I don’t know dude?”
“C’mon, you missed last semester’s because of a Lab thing. That was cool, we understand, but Ariel will be pissed if you don’t make it this year. He said that you needed cheering up anyways after the whole thing with Kay.”
“Who the hell told you? Kay told Rebecca who told me. And anyway, you know once Rebecca knows, everybody knows.”
“Yeah, well you said the whole gang, which means Kaylin will probably be there.”
“She is invited but she might not show. Anyway, you gotta come by at least, just to say hi. I’m sure you can hook up with somebody. If you don’t come I’ll everyone its because I’m Jewish. And then you’ll have protesters petitioning to get you kicked out, hehehe.”
“You ass. You would do it too, although, I doubt anyone would believe you. Listen I’ll see how I’m feeling, if you know what I mean. Okay?”
“Sure, whatever, watch me get you expelled. Ha!”
“Ya, ya, see you later.”
This news threw Shamshaire completely into confusion. Not knowing what to do, he went about his morning routine. When he went to check his e-mail before leaving an idea struck him – the message boards. For years now he had been posting his amateur poetry to several message boards on the internet. Every now and then a member would ask advice of his or her fellow poets; perhaps it was his time to do so.
Having composed and posted his letter asking for advice, Shamshaire left for school. The whole day he was anxious. Every room reminded him of Kaylin’s apartment or Leila’s bedroom. Every girl with long brown hair made him hold his breath and each girl with light brown skin and black hair when seen from far off looked like Leila. Earlier in the week he had been able to shut out the memories and thoughts, but the party, hanging over his head like a sword, had brought his personal life back to the forefront of his mind.
When he got back home he checked the message board and was astounded by what he saw. Almost twenty people had responded already. Everyone told him to go to the party, regardless of what happened there; to not do so would not only be cowardice but foolish. On the issue of Kaylin however, his friends were divided with the majority favoring taking her back. If he really loved her they said, than he should forgive her for what happened and move on. Several however told him to dump her. One of these was his close friend, as internet friends go, “Greenish.” She said the Shamshaire ought not to break a principle of his, especially since Kaylin knew about it. “Greenish” also vehemently warned him against involving Leila, who would most likely only get hurt. Still not know what to do, Shamshaire got to his homework and studying, visions of girlfriends dancing in his head.
Shamshaire walked up to the
apartment and rang the door bell, it was but David had said the party started at eight. He had come
late hoping that everyone who was going to show up would have, thus if Kaylin
was there he could just say hi, have a drink, and leave. Shamshaire didn’t
really want to face Leila either, but avoiding her would look strange to his
friends since no one but Dan knew. The door opened and he was greeted by Ariel,
a friend of his since freshman year and also a physics major, who with a firm
handshake and slap on the back ushered Shamshaire in. As he stood there just inside
the door he took in the apartment. On the left was the living room and on the
right was the kitchen. Past that, almost directly in across from the door, was
a hallway with one door on either side leading to a bedroom, and ending in the
bathroom. One of the bedrooms was used as a guest room for when one of their
friends needed to crash after a party or all-nighter for school. David and
Ariel slept together, they were gay, and had been lovers since high school. The
only reason they had a two bedroom apartment was so that their somewhat
homophobic, yet well to do, parents would not be suspicious. They never worried
about making the guest room look lived in though, because they were both from
the East Coast; one of their main reasons for coming to
“Ey, Shairu’s here!” announced David, having just noticing his friend.
“Hey man, what’s up! Carl, Lisa, Jen.” Shamshaire acknowledged the people sitting on the far couch in the living room. Nearer to him was another couch that faced the one with Carl on it. There was a table between them that held various edibles, drinkables, and thing to be smoked. He wandered to the kitchen and chatted with some other friends before grabbing a scotch and heading over to the couch. There was a space on the one that had its back to the door and he sat down next to a friend of his who everyone called “Woody” since he looked so similar to the character from Disney’s Toy Story.
“Ey, Leo, I didn’t know you drank.”
“I bet you didn’t think I would do this either,” Shamshaire replied as he grabbed the joint Carl was smoking and took a long deep hit.
“Shit dude, slow down!” Carl said.
“Fuck it dude, like they used to say, ‘Drown your sorrows in drink or burn ‘em with bud’”
“Ha!” laughed Woody, “You just pulled that out of your ass right now.”
A little while later, when Shamshaire was on his second scotch, he heard the door open behind him and then heard David greeting Leila. Shamshaire froze. He wanted to run, but he couldn’t, everyone would wonder, so he simply sat motionless. Leila greeted everyone sitting around him but not to him. Ariel noticed this and said, “Hey, you forgot Leo there.”
‘Fucking idiot!’ Shamshaire thought to himself. ‘Couldn’t keep his damn mouth shut.’
David went over and inconspicuously elbowed Ariel, and then took him to the kitchen to help with something but the damage had been done, the slight had been called to everyone’s attention and Leila had to act soon. She wandered around attempting to keep away from Shamshaire, but in the relatively small space it was hard to not make eye contact. Finally he tired of the game.
“So how are you Leila?” Shamshaire asked slowly.
“I am doing alright. And you?”
“About as well as can be expected,” he replied with some double entendre.
Then Leila moved off and went to talk to Maurice, who everybody called Mo, and Angela. The two had been a couple since their first day of classes freshman year, and all their friends were waiting for wedding invitations. As it turned out however, the couple had to leave just soon. Everyone wished them good night as they left, and greeted several late comers at the same time. In all the commotion Shamshaire did not see who entered, and really did not care. He had just finished his third scotch and was primed for a short nap right there on the couch.
His head had lolled to the left side, onto the corner of the couch when an electric shock ran through him. He felt a hand on the back of his neck massaging and another on came over his shoulder and onto his chest. Shamshaire was paralyzed completely and his mind stopped functioning. All that mattered at that second were the hands. He knew whose hands they were and he was powerless to resist them.
He felt a breath on his ear and hear, “My Lion, forgive me please, please. I need you.”
Shamshaire’s face screwed up into a ball of pain. He stifled his tears as best he could but the moistness at the edge of his eyes grew.
“Please, my dear Leo,” the voice whispered again.
All he could do was nod slightly, and that was all it took. The hand around his chest left, but the one massaging his neck did not. Kaylin came around the near side of the couch and sat on Shamshaire’s lap. She was wearing the blue, scoop neck top she knew he loved and tight blue jeans; she had dressed to please him.
“My Leo,” she said, and pulled his lips down to hers. Shamshaire came alive and wrapped his arms around Kaylin and hugged her tightly as he could. His tongue plunged deep into her mouth driving, pushing, pulling, and taking. There was urgency and longing their kiss and the animal passion that was roused in Shamshaire was amazing.
He broke the kiss and dropped his head down to Kaylin’s chest kissing her between the breasts. During their kiss she had broken out into a soft sweat and as Shamshaire used his tongue he reveled in her taste. He breathed in her smell, more precious to him at that moment than air, and nuzzled her skin, softer than he remembered. Finally it was too much. Letting out a bestial half roar, half grunt he lifted a panting Kaylin in his arms and moved towards the bedrooms.
By now everybody was watching him and as he tried to open the door on the left Ariel shouted to him, “The right Leo, the right! Use the guest room.”
Several people laughed at that but Leila who had also been watching the scene unfold broke out into tears and buried her face into David’s shoulder.
“Why didn’t you stop them? How could you let them do that here!”
“Leila did you see the look in his eyes? Anyone who tried to stop him would have ended up dead!”
“I, I have to, I can’t stay hear and listen to them, you know…”
“Yeah, I know. Ariel! Hey, I’m going to drop Leila off, hold down the fort!”
As Leila and David were leaving Shamshaire nearly ripped off his shirt and pants, and then did the same to Kaylin. Their need was great and they didn’t waste time with foreplay. Shamshaire simply pulled Kaylin to the edge of the bed and entered her. He started slamming away immediately each thrust more powerful than the one before. Kaylin, matching him stroke for stroke, neared her edge soon, and wrapping her legs around Shamshaire let out a guttural moan that embarrassed every single person in the living room. Shamshaire though, just kept pounding away but when Kaylin’s second orgasm took her, her pussy spasmed and clenching Shamshaire’s cock and he went wild. Ramming harder and faster as Kaylin’s body trembled as if under a personal earthquake, Shamshaire finally exploded and let out a roar that frightened even his girlfriend.
Somewhat sated he fell onto the bed next to Kaylin and once again they began kissing and touching. This time however, Kaylin, recovering quicker, took control and pushed Shamshaire to on to his back on the bed and straddled him. She took his member in her hand and ran it along her open pussy until he was mostly hard. Then holding him steady, she lowered herself onto him until she was fully impaled. They both sighed when her pussy hit his groin.
Leaning over him, her lips, just barely, not touching his Kaylin whispered, “My Leo.” Then she clamped her mouth against his and they started to move together. Shamshaire was back in the place he longed for; he was the closest he knew to heaven. To be inside her, to surround her with his arms, to feel her full weight on him, her nipples scratching his chest, to Shamshaire this was the greatest place he could ever be; it was worth the risk.
The phone rang in the mid-August Sunday afternoon. Leila, who had just come home from work dropped her purse on her dresser in front of the mirror and picked up the phone.
“Hello, may I please know who is calling?”
“Hi Leila, it’s Dan. How has the summer treated you?”
“Oh Dan, hey. I’m good. What about you, we haven’t talked in a couple months.”
“Yeah, it’s been a while. Listen, I need you to do something for me. This is real big okay, real big.”
“Uh, well, tell me and I’ll see.”
“Promise me Leila.”
“Dan, I don’t know what you are up to but you call me after two months and with your reputation you actually expect me to promise you something without knowing what I am getting into?”
“Leila, I swear it’s nothing bad. In fact it’s probably one of the smarter things I will have done in a while.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about Dan. Get to the point or get off the phone.”
“Fine, fine. It’s about your best friend who happens to be one of my best friends also.”
“Who?” Leila asked, although she felt she already knew the answer.
“Shairu, who else?”
“What about him, we haven’t talked since David’s party.”
“Yeah I heard about that. One hell of a mess he made of things.”
“You’ve lost me again. Could you please quit playing the damn games and tell me what’s going on.”
“Kaylin did it again. She-”
“Yep. Pretty much the same thing too.”
“Oh my God, what happened?”
“Shairu’s research group had him
working twelve hours a day for almost fifteen days straight. Apparently Kaylin
got too needy and had a fling with some engineering grad student.”
“So how did Shairu find out?”
“Well, most of the people he works with are grad students or post docs. He was at some lab barbeque when he heard the son of a bitch bragging about bagging some sophomore chick. The asshole was giving out details and Leo of course recognized the name and description of his girl.”
“Shairu didn’t do anything stupid did he?”
“Oh you bet your cute ass he did. He broke the fucker’s nose and almost got fired for it.”
“Did the fellow press charges?”
“No, Leo’s bosses convinced him not to, but it doesn’t end there. That very evening Leo went to Kaylin’s place and broke up with her. Someone who knows one of Kaylin’s neighbors told me that the neighbor could hear the screaming clearly through the wall. The neighbor almost called the police ‘cause she thought that Shairu would beat up Kaylin.”
“Shairu? He could never hit a woman!”
“I know, and he didn’t. He screamed a lot, broke a vase, and kicked a table leg but that’s it.”
“Shit, I wish he had called. How long ago was this?”
“It happened three weeks ago. He didn’t call me either. I heard from Ariel ‘cause he works at the Lab too. When I went out to see him a week ago, cause it had been a couple of weeks anyway, he looked like shit. His mom said he’s barely eating anything. All he does is go to work, come back and read.”
“I wish he had come to me.”
“Yeah so do I, but the both of you
are idiots in that way.”
“You know why he didn’t talk to you about it. I know everything that happened that evening, he told me.”
“Later that night. I got a bit of pot in him and-”
“But he doesn’t drink or do drugs.”
“That’s the least of what he did
that night, but those details aren’t important. And as for drinking, from what
Carl told me, Shairu packed away a lot of hard stuff the night of David’s
party. He couldn’t take it.”
“He hasn’t binged again has he?”
“No he won’t with his parents around but he’s like a damn zombie. I was over there again day before yesterday and his brother and I tried to get him to come to the movies with us and a few girls. He just kinda stared at me, as if I wasn’t even there.”
“You should have just dragged him along.”
“Yeah right, you know how strong he is. He may not look it but he packs one hell of a punch.”
“So why are you calling me? What am I supposed to do? Go visit him? You know how weird that would be.”
“Well you have to do something. That night he also told me that he had wanted to ask you out from the first time he saw you but that his fucked up second rule and your honor stopped him. That’s how much he wanted you; he had it so bad he didn’t trust himself.”
“Then why the hell did he start up with that bitch? He broke his rule for her, not me!”
“I don’t know everything. But you and I both know that he has these old ideas of being a gentleman, and respecting certain things and all this other bullshit. You know why I think he fell so hard for Kaylin. Because he pushed all the feeling he had for you onto her, that’s why!”
“Then why did he run away from me!!”
“I don’t know. But you can bring
him back, you have to. I looked in his eyes that day and the fire was gone. You
know, that craziness that always reminded us that we
could never know what he would do. It’s gone. That ability he had to laugh so
loudly and wonderfully that it made you happy just to listen to – it’s mute. His
parents are so worried they’re considering sending him to
“Oh no! They wouldn’t do that. What about his degree.”
“The way they see it, and I have to agree, is that his course work will go to hell. They figure his cousins and all will cheer him up. They know why he’s been like this. He came clean about a week after he had it out with Kaylin. I have a feeling that they are secretly hoping he’ll get attached to some girl over there.”
“He couldn’t, no!”
“It might happen unless somebody does something.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
“Neither do I. But we have to do something.” There was a pause then in the conversation. Each could almost hear the other think. The silence was loud, deafening.
“Dan, I need to do some thinking. Can I call you back?”
“Of course, just please, don’t abandon him.”
“How can you say that knowing as much as you do about us? I couldn’t abandon him if my life depended on it.”
“Shamshaire here, go ahead,” he said in a monotone voice as he answered his cell phone on the warm Sunday morning.
“Shairu? Hi, its Leila.”
“Leila,” he began, some animation now in his voice. “How are you. It seems like forever since we talked.”
“Yeah, it does doesn’t it. Listen, I was wondering if you could do me a favor?”
“Anything.” It was not said with enthusiasm or trepidation. He simply stated a fact. “I’ll do anything for you,” he repeated, and he meant it. Her voice was magic, like cool ointment on searing wounds.
“Great. I would like some help moving furniture, and well, I could really use your muscle.”
“Sure, when should I come over,” this time his voice betrayed his enthusiasm.
“Well, it’s just past nine right now, so how about say, .”
“Okay, I’ll be there. Oh, and Leila, it’ll be really great seeing you again. It’s been too long.”
“Yeah. See you later. Bye.”
‘You don’t know how long Shairu, not in the least. Now, what the hell am I going to have him move?’ mused Leila as she hung up the phone.
Pulling into the driveway of the house Shamshaire felt his heart skip a beat.
‘Why am I getting like this? Sure it’s been a while since I’ve seen Leila but it’s not like there’s anything else between us. At least I don’t think so.’
Ringing the door bell he waited. As he stood there in a t-shirt, shorts, and sandals he looked around and noticed that none of Leila’s housemates’ cars were around. ‘That’s curious,’ he thought, ‘I doubt they all go to church.’
The door opened and Leila, dressed simply in jeans and a t-shirt led Shamshaire to her room.
“So how is Shakeel,” Leila asked, not wanting to ask the typical “how are you.”
“Great actually,” Shamshaire started, sounding more like his normal self. “He’s got a girlfriend.”
“Really? Does she got to school with him?” she asked, already knowing the answer. Leila had talked to Dan several times since he first called her about Shamshaire.
“No. She’s somebody I met around
“That’s great. It’s good to hear that he’s getting out instead of spending his whole life in front of a computer.”
“Yeah,” by now they were in Leila’s room and Shamshaire was looking around, trying to figure out what rearrangements Leila had in mind
“Hey, Shairu, how about catching up over a coke first? Then we can get down to work.”
“Uh…sure. A coke sounds good,” there was hesitation in his voice. If Leila asked him about Kaylin he knew he’d break down again. There was no question of if he would tell her the truth; he could no more lie to Leila than he could to himself.
“Great, I’ll be back in a sec, just
wait here.” Leila left for the kitchen downstairs. Shamshaire looked around the
room. It was obviously Leila’s. Everything was neatly in order. There were no
clothes lying about or clutter on her desk. His eye caught a picture of her and
her family. With her in the picture was her father, a businessman and mother, a
housewife. He had met them once the previous year at Eid, they had liked him, but
seemed a bit wary; Leila had told him that they were wary of any male friends
she had. They had trusted him and Leila enough though to let her go camping
with a group of friends in
‘Illogical as hell. But who knows; when I’m a father I’ll probably hire a PI to tail my daughters.’ Just then he thought he heard a faint tinkle.
‘Huh, naw, it couldn’t be.’ Then he heard it again.
‘Well, what the hell.’ He followed the sound out to the hallway.
‘Would Leila wear payal?’ The sound was unmistakable now, the sweet ring of the anklet bells rang in his ear, and the otherwise silent house acted as a megaphone for the delicate chimes. Shamshaire descended the stairs slowly, and the first thing he noticed was the smell of jasmine in the air.
‘One of the other girls must be back.’ Shamshaire thought, ‘But I didn’t hear a car.’
The front door was directly across from the bottom of the stairs and looked undisturbed. Then he heard the sound again, as if teasing him. It seemed to be coming from the family room of the house, which was down a short hallway behind the stairs. All his depression temporarily forgotten as his curiosity drove him, he stepped slowly into the hallway.
“Leila?” He said into the air, probing. His only answer was a jingling of bells. By now his heart was pounding. Ever since he was a boy payal and jasmine had been a weakness of his. He had once sworn to his brother and father that any girl he married would have to wear payal to the wedding.
He came to the end of the hallway and stopped. Somehow he feared what might be in the room. Would it be Leila or maybe Kaylin? What would he do? This past year had been the hardest of his life, could he take any more?
All those questions fell to the wind because right then heard payal and as his pulse quickened, and his stomach lurched he knew he had to go on. Stepping into the room he looked to the left. At the far wall was a fire place. Against the right was a couch and in the left wall was a window facing east, into yard of the house. The light streamed in through the blinds and sheer white drapes and onto the something unimaginable standing in the center of the room.
“Hai Allah!” Shamshaire said under his breath, “Perfect; absolutely perfect.”
As Shamshaire stood statue still just inside the room, Leila stood posed in front of the fireplace. Her arms were locked above her head; her hips cocked to her left, Shamshaire’s right, caused her chest to just out to her right. A bunch of jasmine blossoms was tied in her long black hair, a gold pendant hung on her chest from a gold chain, and around her ankles were silver payal; she wore nothing else except a shy smile.
Shamshaire drank in her perfect form. The rays of sunlight let in by the blinds played tiger stripes across her flawless skin. Her breasts were perfect mounds, exactly the right size for her for and ending in delicious brown nubs. Her stomach was flat but not muscled and looked inviting, and her mound was completely bare. She was the spitting image of a Hindu goddess, statuesque yet supple at the same time. His eyes wandered and then he suddenly turned and moved to leave.
“Stop!” Leila commanded, and Shamshaire froze.
“No, Leila. I have to leave. This has to stop before we, I-”
“Before you what? Shamshaire,” the use of his full name visibly startled him. “Before you loose control? I thought that’s what you always wanted. You told me so once. You said you would know you were truly in love when the mere thought of the girl would cause you to forget everything else. How do feel right now?”
“Turn around. Face me,” and Shamshaire did as ordered, slowly and with fear. “Good. Now come to me, and stop a foot away.” Again, he did as ordered. He was trembling now, and a cold sweat had broken on his forehead.
“Leila I-” But putting a finger to his lips she quieted him.
“Ssh, you foolish boy. Quiet. I’m not letting you talk your way out, nor am I going to let you run away again. I know everything. I am your Leila, be my Majnu.”
Shamshaire by now had tears running down his face, and when Leila’s hand caressed his cheek he pressed his face against it, her touch was soothing beyond belief. He felt his knees buckled for the second time in his life and with her hand still on the side of his face he collapsed. His arms went around her waist as he buried his face in her stomach. All the pain, all the tension, all the anger of the last year broke through finally and his emotion gushed out.
Instead of guiding him lower on her body, Leila dropped down into a crouch until her eyes were level with his. Her hands cupped his face and with her mouth just away from his she whispered, “No, no. I don’t want a kneeling lion.” And still holding his head she stood up bringing him with her.
“This pendant on my breast, do you know what it says? It says Shaire. That’s you, Lion, near to my heart. My strong Shairu. The Shairu that could pull a twenty hour shift at the beam line, the Shairu that resisted a tempting fifteen year old, the Shairu that at thirteen years old stood up to a mentally abusive father. Don’t look so confused. I know everything now. Dan is a better friend than you know and Shakeel loves you more than you realize. The Shairu I want is strong and whole. You be my Lion and take care of the rest of the world for both of us, I’ll take care of you.”
Then she kissed him. It was soft at first as Shamshaire slowly was brought back to life by Leila’s lips and tongue. Her hands never leaving his face, she probed him, danced with his tongue, and sucked slowly sensuously on his lips. She did not touch him other wise, she simply joined with him at the mouth.
Finally, after what seemed like forever Shamshaire brought his arms around her and crushed her to his chest. He held her so tightly that he almost hurt her, but he knew held off just enough. Her now hard nipples burned through his shirt and scorched his chest and she wrapped one leg around his legs and pulled his groin to her. The pressure of her against his manhood proved to be the spark to fuel. A year and a half’s worth of pent-up need, lust, and love was released all at once.
He furiously returned her kiss and his hands frantically roamed her body as if trying to feel all of her at once. His tongue parried her every thrust and returned them tenfold; Leila felt as if he were trying to taste all of her at once through her mouth. Then suddenly, when he touched the supple flesh of her buttocks, he realized that she was actually naked, in his arms. He pulled out of the kiss.
Leila was confused. She had done everything she could and bared herself completely, emotionally and physically, Shamshaire. He was what she wanted then and forever, but he was so confused, so hurt, and so vulnerable. She knew this was the ultimate gamble; she would either win him or lose him completely. When he suddenly pulled back she thought he had decided it was all a mistake. Her hopes fell and she was on the verge of tears, but then she saw his eyes.
His brow was furrowed as if in deep concentration and his eyes were focused on hers. He scrutinized her thoughts, her fears, probing her very soul through her eyes. There he saw fear and pain at the surface, but behind that there was fiery love and sweet longing, both aimed at him. He also saw strength, great strength which he could lean on. At that instant he knew, he knew what he had seen before in eyes of others. He had been a fool, mistaking fiery lust and possessiveness for love; here he saw what he wanted. He knew, before he had thought and thus never been able to say it; now he knew, and it consumed him.
Looking straight into her now moist eyes, his tears still trailing down his cheeks, he said to her the hardest words he had ever said, “I love you.” The second and third time was easier, “I love you Leila, I love you. I know I love you,” he laughed at that last time and Leila’s heart rejoiced, it was his old laugh. “I know I love you, and I know you love me!”
“Yes, yes. My Shairu, mine,” Leila added joyous tears now ran down her face which Shamshaire kissed off, loving the feel of her skin.
“That’s right Leila my love! Oh god it feels good to say that. Leila, Leila, Leila, Leila my love! Haha!” But Leila put a stop to his rambling with her mouth and they were both reminded that she was naked and that Shamshaire’s member was trying to rip through his pants.
He picked her up easily, and not breaking the kiss began marching to her room. Up the stairs they went and then in her room he laid her gently on her bed and stood back gazing at her lovingly..
“No fair Liano,” she teased, “I showed you mine, now you show me yours!”
“I see. Well here goes.” He stripped. There was no show, no teasing, he was simply naked within a minute. When he moved towards her, Leila gasped. She had never seen a man’s penis before except in magazines. She had refused sex till that point in her life and now her whole body was tingling in anticipation.
He climbed in between her legs and she looked at him, unsure what he was going to do.
“Leila, trust me. I want to make this special for you; I know it’s your first time.”
“You’re very confident aren’t you? What makes you so sure?”
Shamshaire replied with a smirk, “The fact that you are shivering in middle of a Californian summer.”
Leila was about to say something back but Shamshaire grabbed one of her feet and sucked in one of the toes.
“Mmmm, what is thaaat?” Leila moaned.
Shamshaire didn’t answer but simply proceeded to the other foot while one hand started to lightly stroke along first the inside then outside of her thighs. Leila giggled at the touch but the goose bumps that appeared betrayed her arousal. Shamshaire having kissed both feet moved higher and higher. First he played with each ankle, showering kisses and toying with the payal. Then he moved to her calves and shins, licking his way up to the bottom of each thigh then pausing to tease the back of her knees with his tongue and lips. Leila was whimpering slightly by then and her bare pussy was glistening with moisture.
She had never really been touched sexually before, and as Shamshaire left her knees and slowly trailed up her inner thighs with his mouth she couldn’t take it any more but too embarrassed to touch her own sex, she began kneading her breasts and moaning. Shamshaire didn’t even bother to look up. He was tantalizingly close to his prize but he withdrew. His hands teased her thighs again but his mouth bypassed her sex and went to her stomach. Kissing and nuzzling his way up he found Leila’s navel and stuck his tongue in it. She was so aroused that at that slight penetration she arched off the bed as if begging him to go farther.
Shamshaire however simply continued slowly. He was determined to take his time. Her pleasure was all that mattered. His tongue now licked its way up her torso and he stopped between her breasts and lifted his face up so look at her. Her eyes were closed and she was panting lightly. There was a slight blush forming at the bottom of her neck which spread out over her breasts.
“Perfect,” he whispered, “Perfect.”
Leila opened her eyes just enough to see Shamshaire whisper something and then lower his lips to her left breast.
“Ahh, Shairuuuu!” She gasped with every flick of his tongue across her nipple. Her hands left her body and went to his head. Her body pushed itself against his mouth. He lingered there suckling, then biting lightly, and then moved to the other mound. His hands were ever roaming, never stopping. Shamshaire wanted to feel every part of her to love every little bit of her.
Finally as her panting became ragged he stopped his attentions to her breasts and moved back down. This time his mouth never left her skin. He reached the top of her mound and his tongue still on her skin, lifted his eyes to her face. Her whole body was a deeper shade of color now, and he knew she was ready.
Shamshaire finally broke contact and put his tongue just above the bed sheet and slowly slurped upward as Leila screamed and when his tongue touched her clit she came.
Her body thrashed on the bed wildly, her head whipping back and forth throwing her hair around her. Shamshaire, grabbing her hips, held her to the bed and plunged his tongue into her tight pussy. He worked in and out while one of his hands snaked over and rubbed her clit.
“Shhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!” Leila screamed as her orgasm took her. She had no idea it could be this good. She had touched herself but was too shy to let anyone else, and dildo had always been out of the question.
“Sha, Le, good, li…” she babbled as Shamshaire rubbed her clit. His face was soaked as her juices spilled out, but he slurped up as much as he could, enjoying the taste, and helped to reach another climax almost immediately after the first.
He slowed his tongue as she came down from her high and finally withdrew to view the beautiful smile on her face. When her eyes fluttered open she blushed at Shamshaire’s adoring look.
“My god Leo! What did you do to me?”
Lying down beside her he said, “I worshipped you my Leila; what else would you expect of Majnu?”
“Well, the deed is yet to be done.”
“Are you sure darling?”
“I have never been so sure in my
“What about protection, I don’t have any condoms.”
Leila blushed as she replied. “You
don’t need them. I’ve been on the pill since a month after I met you. The
“Well, you have pulled off your scheme quite well,” quipped Shamshaire as he pulled a squealing Leila on top of him. Then he put some pillows behind his back and sat leaned against the headboard of the bed.
Leila was not sure what to do but was reassured by Shamshaire.
“Now love, I want you to be able to control the pace. Take it and guide it in the way you want.”
Leila looked at Shamshaire in disbelief. She had envisioned her self spread out at Shamshaire took her again and again, but here he was asking to go ahead. But as she looked at his face she realized the full extent of her promise. “I’ll take care of you,” she had said. Now he wanted her to do it.
“But I want you to take me,” she said.
His face screwed up as if in pain, “No. Give yourself to me as I give myself to you. Be Leila, as your namesake,” then he pulled her into a fiercely passionate kiss, “let the fire burn.” His eyes said what he could not. He wanted her to possess him. To take him.
Leila leaned back into a kiss, now determined to go forward. As she kissed Shamshaire, she reached between her legs and grabbed hold of his cock. It lurched in her hand and she smiled at the thought that she excited him. Then breaking the kiss, she straightened on her knees and looked Shamshaire in the eyes.
Their eyes locked on each others, Leila lowered herself onto him. They both gasped as just the head entered her soaked sex, but their eyes didn’t move. She continued to sink until two inches was in her. Shamshaire could not believe the tightness. He had only had one other virgin, but she was looser because of her dildo. Now though he was surrounded so tightly that he himself was unsure if he would be able to move. Leila pushed just a bit more and then they both felt her maiden head. She held his gaze and whispered “I love you,” and dropped herself all the way down.
“Aaagghhh,” Leila cried sharply in pain. As she dropped she closed her eyes and her face was a grimace. Shamshaire could not believe what she had done. He felt wonderful surrounded by her but her he could not bear he pain. Pulling her to his chest, without pulling her off himself he held her tightly and lavished small kisses all over her face.
“My love, I’m sorry. I promise I will never hurt you again, my life before that. Please love, are you alright?” Leila was stunned but opened her eyes to see Shamshaire’s face full of concern and doubt.
“No worries love, no worries. How else was it to be done? Just don’t move. Put your hands on my hips and when I move help me.”
“Yes love yaaa…mmm…,” Leila kissed him before he could finish his sentence. They were still for a while, loving each other with their mouths and just enjoying the feeling of their union. Each seemed fitted for the other. Leila felt filled beyond belief and Shamshaire relished the lush tightness and warmth that she gave him.
Then Leila lifted up slightly and Shamshaire helped her. She climbed a bit and then slowly went back down. They moved at this excruciating pace for what seemed like forever. Each time she would go farther up and more quickly down until finally she was just keeping the head inside of her. They kept the full strokes to a slow rhythm until finally Leila came again without warning. It was a small orgasm just causing her pussy to flutter but the tightness was that to Shamshaire it felt as if a powerful wet and warm hand was massaging him with velvet gloves.
Leila sighed at the feeling and looked at Shamshaire. His eyes were closed but his mouth was open as if searching for something. On some instinct she offered him her breast and was rewarded by a soft suckling and a tightening of his grip on her hips. He picked her up and dropped her back onto him.
Shamshaire’s eyes flew open. Leila was on him now bobbing obscenely above him now. Her nipple fell out of his mouth she brought her face to his.
“Now Shairu, you will be completely mine.” She slid him down the bed so that he was no longer sitting down but was lying on his back. She started to moved faster and faster. Her hand grabbed his and spread his arms out to his side. His legs collapsed down onto the bed and he was gone.
All he could feel was her. Her weight on him, moving up and down, the length of her arms along his, her cheek on his shoulder, her hair tickling his nose. There was no more bed, no more room, only her. She surrounded him and he melted into her and all he felt was her. He gasped as she picked up the pace and brought him closer, but then she backed away. She continued and he tried to hold on for longer and longer. Twice she climaxed, each time gushing more fluid, and massaging Shamshaire’s cock and then she released his hands and massaged his sides. She stroked him, pulled him, and then she whispered, “Let go for me love, let go to me.” So he did. Her mouth on his he pumped up finally and released his juices into her as she came again her pussy milking him, pulsing around him, drawing out his pleasure and hers.
He gasped into her mouth as the last spasm passed through him but she just kept on riding. He almost feared the feeling but to his amazement he was hard again, and again she had him helpless, prone, her hands holding his as her tongue dueled in his mouth. Shamshaire gave her everything; his body on fire and hers cool water. They moved as one trying to feel every part of each other. Their need their longing all released into this single act drove them higher and higher until they both cried out into each other’s mouth in their final climax. Each saw light flashing through their minds sensations beyond belief and then blessed sleep.
Shamshaire was awakened by soft kisses on his face and a hand playing with the hair on his chest.
“Welcome back sleepy head,” Said Leila looking down at him. Shamshaire opened his eyes to find himself staring at Leila’s breasts. She was propped up on her left elbow and Shamshaire was lying facing her, his head at her bosom.
“Leila?” he asked, almost fearing it had all been a dream.
“Yes love?” Shamshaire just sighed and looked up at her.
“You are even more beautiful afterwards.”
“Are you trying for another round?”
“Well, now that you mention it… But seriously you are. And I feel free with you, I feel whole. Not with Kristen, or Kaylin did I ever feel like this.”
“You don’t have to brin-”
“Bring them up? I won’t if you don’t want me to. But don’t you see. There is no more pain from them in me, no more hurt at their betrayal. They simply don’t matter. Only you do. If death took me right now my only complaint would be that I would miss you.”
“Don’t talk like that Leo!”
“I have found my treasure.” Then he brought his right hand up between them. “Do you see this?” He asked as he wiggled his fingers.
“Oh. Yeah, your akik what about it?”
“All the men in my family wear it,
some of the women too, but its tradition with the men. It’s a promise you see. A promise to remember who you are, your family, and your blood.
It’s also a sign of belonging. I got mine in
“Give me your left hand Leila.”
“What! Shairu you don’t have to.” She did sit up though and give him her left hand.
“Yes I do. I have been a fool for almost two years. I can only try to make up for lost time now. Be mine Leila and take me as yours. Be my aurat or as the French say, ma femme, yes they mean wife, but they also mean woman. I want all of you, everyday, every second!”
“Yes, of course my love.” She gave him her hand and he slipped the ring on ring finger.
“Damn.” He cursed, “It’s way to big.” They both laughed at that. “Hold on.” Then, Shamshaire reached over the side of the bed and pulled a tool out of his shorts.
never without it,” he took out the tool and with the wire cutter portion of it
cut the bottom part of the ring.
“How?” Leila asked.
“Pure silver, no fake stuff mixed in. It’s real soft.” Then once again taking her finger he slipped the ring on and squeezed the sides of the soft metal tightening the fit.
“There love. You can’t get that off without my help,” Then, throwing off the blanket Shamshaire swung his legs over the side of the bed and pulled his boxers and shorts on.
“Shairu, did you pull the blanket on us?”
“Huh? No I thought you did? What the hell?” Just then the door to Leila’s bedroom opened and three girls spilled in. They were Leila’s roommates: Jeri, Chris, and Manisha.
“Hey you two finally decided to wake up,” stated Jeri.
“Mother of God,” said a shocked Shamshaire.
“I’m sorry Shairu, that was one of the conditions of getting them all out of the house at the same time. They wanted to know what had kept me from dating for two years.”
“He’s a good choice,” offered Manisha, “But two years is a long time.”
“Close your mouth dear, you look silly,” Chris said to Shamshaire who was to stunned to react. Obviously all three had come in and seen him in lying post coital bliss with Leila. How this could be happening he didn’t know.
“Look at this girls.” Leila giggled as she lifted her left hand.
“What is that?” Jeri asked, which jerked Shamshaire out of his stupor.
“A promise, that’s all. I intend to replace it when I have two months salary saved up.”
“Oh my god!” Screeched Manisha as all three ran to Leila.
“I need to go make a phone call love. You’re coming with me for dinner.”
Shamshaire went downstairs to be away from the chattering girls. He dialed his home on his cell phone.
“Shairu, what’s up.”
“Could I please bring someone over for dinner…”
The sport utility vehicle pulled into the driveway.
“So love, are you ready?”
“I’m nervous Shamshaire, what if they don’t like me?”
“They already do. They’ve met you before. Remember we were stupid enough to be just friends for almost two years. C’mon lets go.”
They got out and went to the door holding hands, Leila at Shamshaire’s left. He turned the key and pushed opening the door into a beautiful ranchero style house.
“Hi mom!” He yelled, and his mother came from the kitchen to greet him and his friend.
“Hi babe,” and then noticing Leila, she said “Oh hello Leila, you’re joining us for dinner? Great!” Shamshaire let go of Leila’s hand to give his mother a hug and then grabbed her hand again. He noticed his mother’s eyes slightly bulge at seeing the two so obviously involved. She did not remark however.
“Mom, is dad around?” His father’s work in a biotechnology company sometimes called him in at odd hours so Shamshaire was never sure if his father was home.
“He’s in the yard dear, why?”
“I need to talk to both of you together. Could get in and join me in the living room.?”
“Sure thing, let me go get him. You two go have a seat.” Without even realizing it, she had tipped Shamshaire to the fact that she realized something big was up and that it involved Leila.
Having nothing else to do the couple went into the living room, sat down on the love seat and waited nervously. After a few minutes Shamshaire’s mother walked in and sat down on the sofa and was followed shortly by Shamshaire’s father.
“Mom dad. I have some very good news,” Shamshaire started. “De you remember how mom always used to tell me that if I ever got serious about a girl, that I should just bring her home?”
“Yes son, so…” his father answered.
“Well, mom, dad,” Shamshaire had a mile wide grin on his face, “Leila, love, show them your hand.” Leila, raised her left hand, but lowered her eyes and blushed.
“Perfect isn’t she? She even blushed?” Shamshaire’s mother got up and sat next do the girl, they were both crying. Shamshaire left Leila and got up to receive a hug from his father.
“Oh baby,” his mother said, “I’m so happy.”
“Then why are you crying mother?”
“Well, I always knew you’d bring home a nice girl, I just didn’t know she’d be so, so,…”