“Ha, Ha, very funny! That reminds me, Brad will be getting out of the
Army next month. You have never met him. He’s a year younger
than I am. The Last I heard from him he was going to Laos. He
told me he sets up operations for the CIA. Very Hush, Hush, kind of
crap! I’ll be glad to see him,” I said. She began laughing again.
“What are you laughing at now?” I asked.
“You’re trying to change the subject,” she answered laughing.
“Okay, you asked for it. I said, picking her up and carrying her to the couch.
“What are you doing?” She asked as she tried to stop laughing.
I began tickling her with my chin as I held her arms down.
“Stop! Please stop!” She begged laughing uncontrollably.
I continued holding her arms and began kissing her neck. I put my mouth
to hers and began kissing her, as I turned loose of her arms. She put
them around me and we kissed for a while. I put my hand under her blouse
and began feeling her body. “It’s been awhile since we have done it
this early in the day,” she said.
“I know! Do you not like making love to me on the couch? I asked.
“I love to make love to you on the couch,” she said as we laughed.
After taking a shower and dressing, she began preparing supper as I sat at
the kitchen table and called John Whitely. I explained that we were
flying with Raymond Davenport. I thanked him and said that maybe we
would meet next weekend in Atlanta. He had been very nice about it
and offered me to fly with him anytime.
“We’re all set, I’m looking forward to it,” I said, looking at her as she put a pie in the oven.
“Me too,” she replied.
“Sue, come here a minute,” I said, patting my leg. She came over and
sat on my leg. “How should we tell the families?” I asked.
“Our mom’s already know. I have talked to them,” she answered.
“How did they handle it?” I asked.
“They were very supportive. They both thought we were doing the right thing,” she answered.
“As long as you were willing to do it, right!”
“Of course, could you expect them to feel any other way? I told them
that I wanted this and they will support us all the way. You need to
tell the rest of your family. I asked your mom to let you do that,”
“And your family?”
“I told mom if she wanted to tell them she could.”
“I bet some aren’t thinking too well of me right now. I really don’t blame them either.”
“It will all work out between everyone, you’ll see,” she replied.
Sunday morning we were up early getting things together for the trip.
After loading the luggage, I went in to get Sue. Before we walked out
the door, I stopped and put my arms around her for a minute.
“What is this for?”
“Because I love you. Thank you for standing beside me. You know something. I don’t deserve you,” I said.
“I love you too,” she replied.
Arriving at the airport, we parked and walked over to the plane where the pilot was doing a preflight.
“I’m Ed, Raymond’s pilot.”
“I’m Jay, this is my wife Sue.”
“Leave your bags and go on in, he’s waiting for you,” he said, nodding his
head toward the entrance. We stepped up into the entrance looking in.
He was seated forward reading over some papers.
“Mr. Davenport?” I asked.
“Come on in Jay, have a seat. From now on, it is Raymond. He spoke as though he knew me.
“This is my wife Sue.”
“Hi Sue! Call me Raymond. Please, take a seat.”
“We slipped in the plush seats on the other side of the table facing him.
“This is a beautiful airplane,” I said, looking around. I thought to
myself, it looked as though he has the deluxe package.
“Thank you. I ordered this one special.” He replied.
“I want to thank you again, you don’t know how much we appreciate this.” I said.
“Mac told me that you were very good people. He has done a lot for
me, so I don’t mind helping him out when he asked me. I hope you don’t
mind, he explained to me why you were going to LA. I think you two
are very courageous for what you’re doing.”
“We don’t mind, and I don’t think it’s courageous of me, but I do believe
Sue is being courageous. We do believe what we are doing is the right
Two hours into the flight, we had discussed many subjects like politics,
sports and which direction aviation is headed in the next few years.
I thought he might ask about the baby. If Sue had not been there, he
may have asked me. Maybe on a return flight we could talk about it.
I looked at Sue sitting next to the window. I could tell she was tired.
“You look like you could take a nap!” I said, to her.
“I believe I could.”
“Why don’t you lie down on the sofa? It is a long flight.”
I arose from my seat and reached my hand to her.
“Come on, you can get a couple of hours sleep before we arrive,” she took
my hand as I helped her out of the seat. She went over to lie on the
“If I didn’t feel so excited I could probably take one myself,” I commented.
“These flights get tiresome sometimes. That’s why I like company on my trips.”
“What’s in LA that takes you out there?”
“I’m meeting a demolition team. We are going to go over the specs,
to level a couple of buildings. We’re putting up a high-rise.”
“Your company is doing the construction.”
“Yes, we have had it on the table for two years.”
“That should take a couple of years. Will you be spending most of your time and LA?”
“No way, I communicate with my foreman. I let him handle the construction.
I just fly in once a month to check on the site. Besides, I don’t like
being away from home.”
“I feel the same way, if I had not joined the Army, I wouldn’t be with you going to LA.”
“I know what you mean. I’m sixty years old and I have done things in my life that I would take back if I could.”
“I guess time will tell. I don’t know right now if I’ll be sorry for
what I’ve done concerning the baby. But I’m sorry I brought this upon
“It will work out, with a wife like you have. Not only does she seem
to be understanding, but she’s very beautiful as well.”
“She’s both of them and I know that. I’m very lucky to have her.”
“I think I’ll take a nap. You can too if you wish,” he said thumbing
through his papers. I picked up a magazine that was lying on the other
seat and began looking through it. A short time later, he was asleep.
I lay my head back trying to sleep and remembered two letters Sue had written
the day Jay was born.
July 12, 1969, 7:00 pm.
Considering you’re not here at this moment, I’m happier than any time in
my life. Our son was born this morning at 4:07 am. He weighed
10lbs 4ozs Bess was wonderful as my coach. The Doctor said everything
went great. You should see him. He’s so beautiful. I’m
a little sore but I had to write and let you know. Mom just left and
I couldn’t sleep being so excited. We were discussing names and I have
narrowed it down to one. Jay Allen, yes his fathers name, that is the
only name I have ever considered.
I know in my heart he will grow up in every way to be like you. I know
what you would say to that. “I hope not!” but I do. I want you
to know this. I know you loved me because I could see it in your face
every time we looked at one another. Although it is good sometimes
for someone to say the words, it doesn’t compare to the feeling of being
loved. This is what I have, that feeling of being loved by you.
I’m back. The nurse just came in for my routine check. She asked
whom I was writing and what was so important that it kept me up when I should
be resting. After explaining, as she walked out, she turned to me and
said, “You are very lucky to have someone like that to hold on to” and I
I think she slipped me a Mickey because I’m getting drowsy. Be safe and remember to kiss me in your dreams.
Love forever, Sue
July 13, 1969, 10:10 am.
My Only Love,
It is with many tears that I write this letter. My worst fear has pierced
my heart and forced me to face reality. I awoke from a nightmare this
morning. In the nightmare, I had made a trip to your mother’s house
to visit so she could see Jay for the first time. All of your family
was there to share my joy. In the middle of our celebration, we received
a call saying you had were killed in action.
I can’t describe the emotion I felt awakening from that nightmare.
I must tell you this. If for some reason God doesn’t answer my prayers
and you do not return. I’ll know there must be a reason and I will
not harbor hate. Your son will know of all the love I have for you.
He “will” grow up knowing his father. Everything about your life I
can possibly find out he will know. I’ll see to it that your family
tells him all the wonderful and mischievous things you did as a child.
I realize in my heart that the possibility exist that you may not return
but I’ll try not to dwell on those thoughts. I’ll end this letter now
to possibly shorten the pain I feel in my heart at this moment. Jay
and I love you so much. Please be careful.
All of our Love, Sue and Jay
The pilot awakened us announcing over the speaker that we would be landing
in thirty minutes. Sue went into the restroom to freshen up.
I waited to see if Raymond wanted to go in first. Apparently, he was
thinking the same thing.
“Go ahead Raymond, I’m in no hurry.”
“Yes, you go ahead. I can wait.” After he went into the restroom, I looked at Sue.
“I left the night bag in there in case you wanted to brush your teeth or needed something.”
“Thanks sweet,” I said.
When we had all freshened up, we buckled in for the landing.
“By the way, you can use my limousine. The friends I’m staying with are sending theirs to pick me up.”
“You have your own Limo and you only come once a month?”
“I have a contract with the Limousine Company. They transport all my clients.”
“That is very sweet of you,” Sue said smiling and looking to me being surprised.
“It sure is. We didn’t expect the royal treatment,” I added.
“I’m glad to help out. Anything you want, room service or whatever, just tell them,” he said smiling.
Five hours after lifting off, we landed in Los Angeles. We thanked him again and took the limousine to the hotel.
As we were riding to the hotel, I smiled at Sue. “What do you have up your sleeve? She asked with a curious look.
“Nothing! I was just thinking that you had better not get to use to this lifestyle, yet. Maybe one day but not now.”
“Don’t be silly, I was born in a limousine.”
“Yeah, sure!” I said, as we laughed.
We checked in the suite and I tipped the bellhop. We looked around
and it was huge. There was one large room with sofas and a desk, with
a huge bedroom and bath off to one side. I threw myself down on the
bed and sprawled out.
“We have got to mess up these sheets! We are going to have fun while we are here. I can see that right now!”
“This is beautiful! However, I couldn’t live like this all the time.
I need roots, somewhere I can feel at home,” she said as she slipped onto
the bed beside me putting her arm over my chest.
“You mean the simple life, me too. A house I can come home to every
day and have you there. Just to look at you,” I put my arm under her
neck, pulled her forehead and kissed it.
“What do we do around here on a Sunday night?” She asked.
“For starters we can change our clothes, go down, and eat dinner. How does that sound?”
“In a while, I want to shower and shampoo my hair.”
“Wear the dress I just bought you. I want everyone to see you in it,” she looked into my eyes with a stare.
“You are so…”
“In love!” I finished her sentence.
“That isn’t what I wanted to say. I’m going to shower now,” she said as I kissed her and smiled.
After I showered, I dressed and waited on her to get ready. She was
rolling her hair, putting make up on, the whole nine yards. We were
on the ninth floor with a nice view of Los Angeles as I gazed out of the
window. It was a beautiful town but I wouldn’t want to live here, I
The couple keeping the baby is foster parents. They were to meet us
in the morning at eight. We were allowed an hour with the baby, to
see if we could bond or something. I was feeling very nervous, not
knowing what to expect. I wondered if she had any resemblance to me
at all. I knew she would have had a tough time growing up in Vietnam.
They don’t treat half-breeds well. I had seen enough of them to know
if she had American blood in her.
“I’m ready!” Sue said as she came out of the bathroom.
“My God! You are gorgeous!” I dropped my mouth as I walked toward
her. She was shaking her head as she grinned.
“Can I touch you? I said, reaching my hands out for hers. We were at an arms length, as I looked her up and down.
“Don’t be silly, you better give me a hug,” I put my arms around her as we kissed. “You have lipstick on your lips.”
“I’m going to leave it on so I’ll remember this moment,” I replied smiling.
We walked to the door and I wiped it off before we exited.
Entering the restaurant, I asked the maitre d' if she had a table with a
romantic sitting. She seated us at a very nice table with candlelight.
After a drink and our meal, we sat and talked for another hour.
“Are you nervous about tomorrow morning?” I asked as we held hands across the table.
“A little, are you?”
“A whole lot, I don’t know how to act.”
“I noticed, I’ve never seen you like this before.”
“My stomach is in knots. But it is probably because you’re sitting across from me,” I remarked as I squeezed her hands.
“I think it is probably anticipation. I know you love kids, so if you make a fool of yourself tomorrow I’ll understand.”
“Sometimes I act a fool just to act a fool don’t I?”
“I’ll have to say yes to that,” she answered laughing.
“Let’s go up and mess the sheets up, what do you say?”
“That’s what I’m talking about,” she said and laughed.
We went back to the room, made love for a while, and fell asleep.
The following morning we arrived at the Children Services Center at seven
thirty. I think we looked a little odd getting out of a limousine but
that didn’t bother me. We entered and explained our presence.
They told us to wait in a room. When the foster parents arrived, they
would bring the baby in along with a caseworker and would allow visiting
for up to one hour if we chose too. The caseworker entered in the room.
“Hi, I’m Louise Holland, the caseworker overseeing the baby. Are you ready to meet her?”
“Yes, we’re ready. I answered. She stepped out of the room for
a minute and brought the couple in holding the baby. I walked over
“May I hold her?”
“Sure,” she handed her to me. I held her out so Sue and I could look at her.
“She’s so beautiful!” Sue commented.
“She is isn’t she?” I replied glancing at Sue and the couple.
“We’re going to leave you alone while you visit. Just come out if you need anything,” she stated.
We sat alone in the room with her, just staring.
“She’s pretty like her mama. I’m sorry, you don’t mind me saying that do you?” I asked.
“No, I really don’t mind.”
“Jay, she’s yours! I can see you in her.”
“You can’t see that! She’s only six months old.”
“Yes I can, and everyone that knows you will see it.”
“Maybe, maybe not,” I said, taking a long look at her.
“Let me hold her,” she said reaching over to take her from me. “I can’t believe how beautiful she is!” She remarked.
“Look at Jay closely when we get home and say that again,” I said, with a frown.
“You know I didn’t mean it that way! I’m just surprised.”
“What were you expecting?” I laughed.
“I really don’t know what I expected. Jay I want this baby! I believe I love her already.”
“Do you really mean that? There is still the possibility that I’m not the father.”
“Blood or not, you and I are her mother and father! I could never let her go now, not after holding her.”
I got up and turned my face so she couldn’t see my eyes watering. “What’s the matter?” She asked.
“You!” I said. I turned around and sat next to her, putting my
arm around her. “I love you so much! I leaned over and kissed
her forehead and then the baby’s cheek.
“What are we going to call her?” She asked looking at me.
“Lin Chi Lamour! What do you think?”
“That is a beautiful name. Lin Chi Lamour, you’re so beautiful,” she said leaning over and kissing her on the cheek.
“I hope we can convince the judge,” I stated.
“We will! I know we will,” she replied.
The hour was up and they entered the room.
“Mrs. Holland, can we take her with us now?” Sue asked.
“I’m sorry, we’ll have to wait for the judges decision.”
“We have fallen in love with her already. Jay and I’ll do what ever you ask if you will allow us to take her home.”
“Well, you need to meet the judge first, he has the final decision.
We need to let them take the baby with them for now,” Sue handed the baby
to the couple kissing her one more time.
We left and went to the courthouse and waited outside the courtroom until
they called our name. We went in and stood before the judge.
He was looking over our papers.
“Mr. and Mrs. Lamour, looking over your file I don’t see anything that would
prohibit you from receiving custody of the child. I see you were highly
decorated in Vietnam Mr. Lamour.”
I said, nothing in anticipating his decision. “Do either if you want to make a statement?”
“Yes your Honor!” Sue stated.
“Go ahead Mrs. Lamour.”
“Your honor, we met with her this morning for an hour. In just that
short time, I fell in love with her. My husband and I’ll do whatever
the court asks. Lin Chi will be loved and I’ll raise her as my daughter.
Please your Honor, we want her.”
“Your Honor, I’m her father. I don’t know what else I can say, except
that my wife and I feel the same. Sue has been very courageous during
this time. I love Lin Chi. We named her after her mother. I made
a mistake in Vietnam and I’m willing to own up to my responsibility.
Not for responsibility sake, but in just the short time I was with her, I
fell in love with her and want to raise her.”
“The court appreciates your candor,” he said as he looked over his papers
again. I knew he was contemplating his decision. He then looked
at each of us. “The court grants Mr. and Mrs. Lamour full and legal
custody of the child. Case closed.”
“Thank you your Honor!” We both said. The bailiff escorted us to a room.
We entered and saw the couple with Lin Chi. They handed her to me and I thanked
them. My eyes were watering as I looked at Sue.
“This is our daughter. Won’t everyone be surprised?” I said.
“We will just have to show her off, to everyone,” sue replied reaching to
take her. Mrs. Holland came into the room carrying a folder.
“I need you to sign these forms,” she said opening the folder on the desk.
I’m glad it worked out for you. I think the baby is in good hands.”
“Thank you,” I said, as I signed the forms and took Lin so Sue could sign.
“You can go now, I wish you the best,” she said leaving us.
We left the courthouse and got into the limousine.
“Where to Sir?” Harvey asked. I looked at Sue.
“She needs some things, lets go shopping.”
“Harvey, can you take us to the nearest mall?”
“Yes sir, there is one fifteen minutes from here.” He dropped us at
the mall. We bought her clothes which that took us about three hours.
Sue went to almost every child’s store in the mall. I tried to be patient
the whole time. I knew this was a special thing for Sue to buy her
We waited about two minutes for the limousine.
“I’m sorry it took us so long Harvey. You know how women are,” I said, as he opened the door.
“Please sir, you don’t have to explain anything to me,” he said closing the
door. He drove us to the hotel and we went to our room.
“I’m going to call our family’s. Do you want to brag a little with me? She asked smiling.
“You know I do, call them. Call room service first and get us something to eat, unless you want to go out and eat.”
“Let’s eat in and maybe go out for dinner.”
“That sounds good to me,” I said, as I went to the bathroom.
When I returned, Sue was on the telephone with her mother. They were
discussing the baby. I knew in reality that what I had done wasn’t
socially acceptable to some. Some would always sneer and gossip under
breath. Sue and I would always be the talk of the town so to speak,
at least in the realm of our family and friends. I accepted the fact,
but I would discuss it with Sue to ensure that she understood how it would
be. She called my mother and we both talked to her all about Lin.
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