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This is a satire of the TV show that ran on the WB from 
1999-2002. Among others, it starred Katherine Heigl 
(Grey's Anatomy) as Isabel and Shiri Appleby (Swimfan, 
Six Degrees) as Liz. The story contains violence and 
rape, but it is done in a comedic bent, please don't 
take it seriously-it is a satire. (m(16)f(16) nc, mast, preg, m(16)f(16) m-rp, anal, v,
        Mf(16) rp, anal, f(16)f(16) mast, cons, Mf(16) nc, oral,
        Mf(16) m-rp, anal, sci-fi, tv-parody, sattire)

***

Hi, I'm Liz Parker, the smallest of small town girls. 
Five days ago, Max Evans finger fucked me, or so I 
thought. Since then, things have been, well... strange. 


SCENE ONE-A Crowded Crashdown 

"Liz, He's looking at you," Maria cooed.

"Maria, you're imagining things. Are you trippin on 
acid again?" Liz asked her totally flat-chested, never 
in need of a bra, bleach bottle blonde, drama queen, 
best friend. 

"Liz, I swear he's looking," Maria said, scanning the 
goods on her totally hottie brunette best friend, 
wishing she could match Liz's B cup tits and perfectly 
bubble butt. 

Liz looked across the diner. It was crowded. The annual 
alien show was going on at the UFO museum and every UFO 
freak on the planet had come to Roswell to tell their 
tale of appearing in an alien porno film. 

"Those little green guys must be as horny as hell," Liz 
thought to herself. Suddenly, two men rose out of their 
booth. They were fighting over a gun. The gun went off. 
Several women screamed. Everyone froze in fear. 

Max Evans was standing in the center of the diner. He 
had caught the bullet, in mid flight, in his hand. 
Then, to everyone's amazement, he turned it to dust. 
Everyone made a break for the door. 

"FREEZE!" Max yelled. Everyone froze in place, except 
Liz. Max turned to face her. Max lifted his left hand. 
Her dress parted down the middle like the Red Sea just 
before flying off of her. Dressed only in a non-
matching white bra with little red roses and maroon 
panties, Liz suddenly found herself naked as max 
snapped his fingers and her underwear flew off. 

Liz looked down at her firm, barely B cup tits, topped 
with quarter sized dark brown nipples. She sighed with 
relief, remembering that she had shaved her 16 year old 
pussy the night before. Max walked up to her. The index 
finger on his right hand was glowing. It was green in 
color. 

Liz gasped as his finger entered her tight teen pussy. 
Suddenly, images of happiness from her childhood flew 
through her head as her well lubricated pussy, made wet 
by her excitement, made sopping noises as Max's finger 
fucked her. She gasped as she felt a viscous fluid slam 
into her cervix. 

Just as suddenly, it was over. Max was pulling her 
dress back on, telling her not to breathe a word of 
this, to anyone. Max and his sidekick Michael ran out 
of the crashdown. Everyone suddenly came back to life.

Maria turned to face Liz. Liz, what happened?" 

"It was fucking amazing Maria," was all Liz would say, 
over and over again, for hours. 


SCENE TWO- WEST ROSWELL HIGH, The Next Day

Chemistry class was well under way, but Liz could give 
a shit. Since last night, her belly had glowed green, 
and she'd experienced multiple orgasms, by just 
touching her clit. It was the most amazing thing. 
Suddenly, Max came in the room and took his seat next 
to her. "Nice of you to join us" the chemistry teacher 
taunted. Liz looked at Max in a drunk way. 

Max thought, "Oh shit!" and spit out the pencil he had 
been chewing on. "I need to go to the bathroom" Max 
said as he jumped up and ran out of the room. "Must've 
been burrito night at the local taqueria" the chemistry 
tacher thought. Liz looked at the pencil.

A tiny bit of the pencil was glowing green. Liz 
marveled at the pencil, then placed it by her belly. 
She lifted her shirt and the pencil sparkled like the 
eyes of a stripper upon noticing a rich oilman walk 
into her strip joint. 

"Bingo," Liz thought to herself. Max didn't come back 
into class, but Liz caught him in the hallway. "Max, we 
need to talk, NOW", she warned. 

Max and Liz found a conveniently empty room off of the 
crowded hallway (the script said so).

"Max, we need to talk," Liz opened. "What did you do to 
me?" 

"I made you pregnant baby," he answered. 

"Pregnant, but how? With your finger?" 

"You betcha babe," Max spit out. 

"Max, umm, my belly is glowing in a greenish weird 
color. Where exactly are you from?"

"I'm not from here." 

"Where are you from then?" 

He looked down and was quiet for a second. "I'm from a 
place called the Death Disco where I hang out with a 
drag queen who calls himself Darth Vader, but that's 
not important now. What's important is that you carry 
my child." 

Liz placed her hand on her stomach. "In nine months," 
she muttered. 

"No, five years," Max interrupted.

"Five years, why five years?" Liz inquired. 

"Because that's how long it takes to get a good 
syndication deal on TV." 

"Oh," was all Liz could say. 


SCENE THREE-Date night 

Kyle Valenti was in a good, no, make that a great mood 
as he pulled up in front of Liz's place. He was going 
to get second and third base, a blowjob, and if he was 
lucky, fuck Liz up the ass again. Liz jumped right into 
his car. "Where we going?" Liz asked as they pulled 
away from the curb.

"You'll see," Kyle said with a smirk. 

Ten minutes later, they parked in a spot overlooking 
the lights of Roswell. 

"Why are we here?" Liz asked as she heard Led 
Zeppelin's "Kashmere" on the radio. 

Kyle smiled as he reached over and squeezed one of her 
tits. Liz smiled too, as she gently placed one, then 
the other hand gently on his throat. In a sudden 
violent motion she banged his head on the steering 
wheel, then five more whacks for good measure. A loopy 
Kyle was thrown from the car as Liz opened the door 
screaming "YOU ASSHOLE!" With a sudden superhuman 
strength, she jumped out of the car and threw Kyle over 
a log.

She pulled his pants down, leaving his ass up in the 
air. She reached in her purse, taking out a snub nosed 
.38 revolver and a twelve inch long, three inch thick 
dildo with balls attached. With her left arm, she 
reached over, placing the .38 at the base of Kyle's 
skull as she cocked the gun.

"Liz, what the fuck?" Kyle protested. 

"Shut up Kyle, you're really going to like this." 

She rammed the dildo in, all the way up to the balls. 

"OWWW!!" Kyle screamed.

"HOW DO YOU LIKE IT KYLE? DO YOU LIKE GETTING FUCKED UP 
THE ASS?" 

"OWWW!!" he screamed as Liz plunged the dildo in and 
out. 

"Liz," Kyle pleaded. 

"Wait Kyle, here comes the best part." She pulled the 
dildo out, turned him over. She plunged the dildo in 
his mouth. "TASTE YOUR SHIT KYLE, HOW DOES IT TASTE?" 

"MM-mmm-mm," was all he could reply. 

"THIS IS FOR EVERY GIRL YOU EVER FUCKED UP THE ASS 
KYLE! Liz screamed.

"Hold that pose" she directed, stepping back, taking a 
camera from her purse. She snapped a picture. "That 
ones for the school website" she said. She snapped 
another "and this one is for the yearbook." 

Laughing maniacally, Liz took his car, leaving a 
bottomless and bruised Kyle outside of town.


SCENE FOUR-The Sheriff's office

Maria nervously sat in Sheriff Valenti's office. He had 
suddenly pulled her out of class. She prayed he 
wouldn't find the ten hits of acid, twenty crack rocks, 
and dime bag in her purse.

"Miss DeLuca," he began, "tell me about Liz Parker." 

"Oh, she's totally hot," Maria answered, "I wish I had 
her tits and ass. Sometimes I lie in bed, fantasize 
about her, and I cum over and over. One time, Liz let 
me take a shower with her. I pretended to drop the soap 
and while I was on my knees, I licked her pussy. She jumped, 
and I tried to pretend it was my nose, and an accident. 
I think she believed me because we've slept in the same bed 
every time we had a sleepover. But trust me Sheriff, she's 
one hot piece of ass.  Why do you ask?" 

The Sheriff shook his head. He hadn't expected such an 
answer. An image of his son, with Liz, popped in his 
head. He made it disappear. 

"Maria?" he asked, "has Liz been acting strange 
lately?" 

"Strange, how Sheriff?" 

"Just answer the question," he pleaded, "has she acted 
differently lately?" 

"Hard to say Sheriff. I take one look at her tits, and 
I just start to drool." 

The sheriff stepped closer to her. Maria pulled the 
purse close to her stomach and tried to cover it with 
one arm. Sheriff Valenti smelled her scent and lost 
control. He pulled her up from the seat and bent her 
over his desk. He pulled her dress up and her panties 
down. 

"Sheriff, what are you doing?" Maria pleaded. 

Maria heard his zipper coming down, and a burning 
feeling in her ass as his dick violated her. He lay on 
top of her. With his face close to her ear, he 
whispered, "Do Liz and Kyle do this?"

"It would break my heart if they did," she grunted. 

He pinned her arms to the desk and continued pumping 
the sophomore in the ass. He came with a grunt. He 
stepped back and put his dick back in his pants. Maria 
was sobbing as she pulled up her panties. 

"You let me know if Liz and Kyle ever did anything like 
that."

"Ssssure sheriff," Maria sobbed as she left the office. 


SCENE FIVE-Liz's Bedroom

Liz's door opened and slammed as the two teens entered 
the room arguing. 

"Liz, you have to tell me everything." 

"I don't have to tell you anything Maria." 

"Come on Liz, we've been friends for like, forever." 

Liz only knew one way to shut her up. She planted a 
huge kiss on Maria's lips. Maria was stunned, then 
wrapped her arms around Liz. The two girls fell on the 
bed in an embrace. Liz undid the front of Maria's 
dress. She looked at the two nipples and no breast 
flesh. 

"Maria, you're completely flat!" 

"I know," Maria sobbed.

Liz planted her abundant lips on the right nipple, 
slowly circling the nipple with her tongue, then 
shifted to the right nipple. Maria started to orgasm. 
Liz found Maria's clit through the cloth of her 
panties. Maria screamed and spasmed in an amazing 
orgasm. Liz smiled and pulled off Maria's panties. She 
looked at the hairless slit. "Maria, do you shave?" 

"No," came the answer. "I never grew any hair down 
there." 

It was then that Liz noticed Maria's ass. It was 
inflamed, puffy, and dark red. 

"What's wrong with your ass Maria?" 

"Sheriff Valenti raped me." 

"Why?" Liz sobbed. 

"He wanted information about you and Kyle." 

"We have to make him pay for this Maria." 

"We will Liz, we will." 


SCENE SIX-The highway leading out of Roswell.

Max, Michael, and his totally hot sister Isabelle were 
riding in Max's jeep. They heard a siren and turned to 
see Sheriff Valenti lighting them up. 

"Shit" Isabelle hissed, "do you think he knows?" 

"I don't know," Max answered as he pulled over. 

Sheriff Valenti walked up to the right side of the 
jeep, where Isabelle sat. "What are you kids doing?" 
the Sheriff asked. 

Smart ass Michael spat out, "We're doing acid Sheriff." 

With amazing speed, Sheriff Valenti drew his gun and 
whipped Michael across the back of the head. 

"Ow!" Michael yelled, "What was that for?" 

"That's for starters, you punk, don't sass me anymore."

Turning his attention to Isabelle he asked, "My, my, 
what have we here?" He opened her blouse to reveal bra 
clad double D monsters. "Take the bra off" he ordered. 

"NO!" Max yelled. 

The sheriff cocked the gun and pointed it at him. "Take 
it off" he repeated. 

A fearful Isabelle complied, releasing two of the most 
perfect, non silicone monsters ever seen on TV. The 
sheriff smiled, "I could get lost in those twin peaks 
all day" he whispered. He unzipped, taking out his 
dick, "Blow old Willie, make him happy." 

Isabelle bent over, tasting Maria's shit still on his 
dick. Max looked over, trying not get aroused at the 
sight of his beautiful topless sister blowing the 
Sheriff. 

"Oh, Oh, pull back," the Sheriff ordered. 

Isabelle pulled back. The Sheriff took his free hand 
and jacked off in her face, supplying her with three 
"Valenti Blasts." 

"Look at her face guys" Valenti ordered, "that could be 
in your ass Max, or yours Michael. Don't ever fuck with 
me again." 

The sheriff zipped up, and walked, a little wobbly, 
back to his car. "God, I love teenagers, they're so 
stupid," he laughed. 


FINAL SCENE- The crash festival 

There was a scream from the parking lot. Everyone ran 
to see what it was. Maria was floating a foot above the 
ground. There was a contented smile on her face as she 
spun like a barber's pole. 

"What the fuck?" the Sheriff asked as he looked at Max 
with a scowl. 

"God Sheriff," Liz laughed. "Haven't you ever seen 
Maria drop acid before?" 

The Sheriff turned on Max, grabbing him and throwing 
him into a fence. "You had something to do with this, 
didn't you" the Sheriff hissed. 

"I didn't do nothing," Max answered. 

The Sheriff suddenly felt himself thrown into the 
fence. He heard and felt the seat of his pants rip. He 
suddenly regretted going commando as a foot long dildo 
violated his asshole. 

"YOU LIKE THAT SHERIFF, KYLE DID!" Liz screamed as she 
jammed her gun into his left ear. With another thrust, 
she screamed, "THIS IS FOR ISABELLE," another thrust. 
"THIS IS FOR ALL OF US TIRED OF YOU," another thrust. 
"THIS IS FOR THE MPAA BOARD, WHO CAN"T FIND THEIR 
ASSES."

She pulled the dildo out, turned the Sheriff, and 
knocked him on his ass. She jammed the dildo in his 
mouth and kicked him in the nuts. "THIS IS FOR EVERY 
ANGRY TEEN IN AMERICA." She kicked him in the nuts 
three more times. As he crawled into a fetal position 
and began to cry, Liz turned to Max and winked. 

Zoom out-roll credits...