Solomon – Losing My Balls
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Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by blatant sexual stories, are under 18, or have a heart condition, don’t read this. If it is illegal in your state to possess this literature, then don’t possess. All within is pure fiction - I guess.
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Lisa was still hopping mad after finding the letter that had outlined what she had been doing to me that was meant for my parents. It was my escape letter and one part of my plan to end everything that was being done to me. I watched my wife pacing back and forth in front of me, waving the letter and berating my attempts to leave her ‘after all she had done for me’. I tried telling her that I had ended my desire to leave, but she wasn’t about to believe me. At least that was what I had thought. After nearly twenty minutes of dressing me down, I saw a sudden turn in her demeanor. At first she looked into thin air, then at the letter, and then she smiled. I mistook her smile when she began asking me if I had really decided not to run off in a much softer tone of voice. I really should have known her better by now.
Over the next hour she warmed up to me and seemed to gloat measurably over winning my soul. She even told me that because of me finally accepting my new role, she asked me to skip out to the store and buy two bottles of her favorite champagne. I hadn’t seen her being so nice, nor trusting of me, in a very long time, so I did as she requested after hearing that I had won her over in my own way. My mind was trying to make sense of her sudden change of temper as I drove to the store and back. Could things between us actually work out as long as I accepted her training as her version of the perfect husband?
I had my old wife back, nearly, as we drank both bottles of the bubbly and laughed over what we both considered the outstanding points of what we had both gone through. I had taken the brunt of things, but she pointed out that she had to get use to wearing the pants that she had always considered belonged on a man. She even complimented all men on how they found the strength to provide for women and their children as a thankless task rarely bitched about. That led me to ask a question I had long wanted to know the answer. How was she making the money to keep the bills paid?
She bit her lower lip and finally got up, went to her computer, and typed in the password. By the time I came up behind her, she had opened a video for me to watch. I could hardly stand and sat in the chair to watch just how she had been making the money. Before starting the video, she filled me in on some details to explain what I was going to see. Apparently she had found a market to buy some ‘perverse’ videos, and yes, I as the star. She promised me that they were only sold in places far away, but that did little to comfort me even in my drunken state. And then she turned to me and asked, “Haven’t you noticed anything… unusual going on?”
I had no certain idea what she was talking about, and finally she worked her hand under my t-shirt and groped my chest. I pulled back and told her that that area was getting a little tender. I had put it up to not working as physically as normal for several weeks and losing muscle mass. I was about to find out the true reason. She was grinning ear-to-ear as she flicked the mouse to start the movie.
It turned out to be a teaser trailer type movie, but it filled in a lot of gaps. Frank was coming through the door and I wondered for a moment why he would be coming by so late, but my mind was transfixed on what I was seeing play out before me on the monitor. It started with a picture of me straight on that had been taken a year earlier at the beach. I was in my swim trunks and I wondered what that had to do with anything. The next minute or so was text telling the story of how me, Dan, would be turning into Danielle over the course of several months, and what the eventual outcome of my life would become. Lisa’s hand came around to my mouth and she had two pills for me to take. I told her I had already taken the pills twice for the day, but she insisted and I washed them down with the last of my champagne. As I sat the glass down, her hand ran up under my shirt again. She was toying with my nipples, but it hurt a little and was annoying to say the least. When I tried to pull her hand away, her other hand came up the other side of my shirt and she groped my chest as a man would a woman. She demanded that I pay attention to her movie.
I held my hands over hers as I finished reading the text intro, and several times I turned around to look at the grin on her face. I was just beginning to think that everything she had been doing to me was just enough to sell her fantasy film, but then came up a scene of me taking some of the same pills I had just swallowed. In the background I heard Lisa telling the viewers how she had started feeding me female hormones to help bring out my effeminate side. Suddenly I understood the tenderness of my chest – one of the side effects of taking the hormones. I looked down and realized what I had seen as my body turning into flab from lack of working was actually the beginning of me growing boobs. Lisa finally turned her soft manipulation into outright groping of her desired effect. I tried to stand up, but she told me there was more for me to see and held me down.
I was sort of stuck in my chair anyway due to the effects of six glasses of the bubbly, and that was when I realized there should have only been four in each bottle. She had tricked me into thinking that we had shared the wine equally. The next part of the film was sort of a glimpse of many lewd interludes between me and Frank, and even the doctor. You couldn’t tell who they were, but my face was prevalent in each cut. It was the closing shots that really got to me. The intro to those final shots was a short text that read, …AND DAN TURNS INTO DANIELLE RIGHT BEFORE YOUR EYES. The next shot was a snippet of the one I had seen before with me in the doctor’s office during her mock castration of me. My jaw fell open and then I felt something happening to my right wrist. I looked down and saw Lisa had placed a handcuff on me. In an instant, Frank was helping her to bring both my arms behind my back as they fastened my wrists together. Lisa told Frank to bring me into the bedroom and with very little effort I felt myself being hoisted over his shoulder and carried away. After getting plopped onto the bed, Lisa kissed me softly on the cheek and said, “Night, night sweetie. The two pills I put into your drink will knock you out soon, so have a good sleep your last night as a whole man.” So, on top of what I knew were now female hormones, she had apparently drugged me with some other pills as well.
I couldn’t move as I lay there trying to figure out what was going on. Before I knew it, the sun was in my eyes and my wrists were aching from the cuffs. Neither Frank nor Lisa was in sight and I struggled to put together everything that had gone on the night before. I finally figured out why my wife had so suddenly calmed down the night before after finding my letter proving a particular disloyalty to her. I went to move my legs and found that I was now also tethered to the bed by one leg. For over a half hour I worked to put everything together until Frank came in and forced me to take two more pills, not my normal ones, but what I guessed had knocked me out last night. Before I could ask Frank about anything, he was gone again. The sun was setting before I finally began waking for a second time and Lisa was struggling to remove my pants. I couldn’t speak yet, but when she saw my eyes open, she made things a little clearer for me.
She went over to her side table, retrieved yet two more pills, and demanded that I swallow them. After doing as she demanded or face drowning in the water she was pouring down my throat, she sat the glass down and got between my legs. “There’s one thing I just have to do before the next step sweetheart. I know I’ve never liked doing this to you before, but this is a very special occasion.” With that she began sucking gently on my cock. I felt it growing hard and then she began licking at my balls and chuckled aloud that she had always known they had belonged to her.
When I finally gained my voice, I began pleading with her to stop what she was doing and swearing that I would do whatever she wanted of me. She just kept sucking on me and even used her hand to help things along. She continuously fondled my balls and even reached up to grab at what I now saw as the boobs she was trying to force my body to grow for her. My pleading did nothing to deter her and after a certain point, I rested my head back and had to enjoy the blowjob I was getting. I knew I was very close to cumming and had ached for relief from any other person for weeks now. It felt so fucking good, but by the time I realized what she was actually doing, it was too late to stop her. I knew why after years she was finally giving me a blowjob and thrashed my head side-to-side trying to make sense of all this.
As my body began jerking uncontrollably, I saw my wife’s eyes glow from her pleasure. Her lips stayed latched to my cock as I felt my body ejaculating into her mouth. Her moans sounded wonderful to me for the briefest moment, and then she pulled her lips back slowly to make sure she got every drop from my softening cock. She sat up, smiled at me, and walked on her knees to get closer to me. Slowly she pressed her mouth to mine and forced my lips wide to accept my own cum. We kissed for a moment and then as she pulled away, her hand covered my mouth so I couldn’t spit it out, and made everything very clear for me.
“There you go sweetie. That’s the last load of cum your balls will ever make. Remember how yours was the first cum you ever tasted? Well, now you have the chance to taste the last sperm these balls will ever get to make. Go ahead now… and swallow it down. Enjoy the taste of it. I bet few men have ever gotten to taste their last fun juice. Make me proud. I want to know you understand just how valuable what’s in your mouth right now.”
I looked up at her with pleading eyes, but her words echoed through my head a million times. Finally, I knew in her sick mind that she was right; I knew this would be the last chance I would have to do as she had said. I swished the broth around my mouth, and then swallowed hard several times. She was beside herself when she saw my throat making the motions and she took her hand away. I began my pleading again until she shushed me with a finger to my lips, and then left the room.
The light in my eyes was blinding and I tried pulling my hands up to shield my eyes from it, but they wouldn’t budge. As I looked around I saw that the man in front of me was holding smelling salts. I shook my head trying to rid my nostrils of the remaining scent and became aware quickly of where I was, however it wasn’t a pleasant surprise. Instantly I recognized the room I was in and that I was tied to the chair from a month earlier, with the same familiar doctor standing in front of me. I began flailing around and demanding that they couldn’t do this to me. Suddenly another piece of cloth was being forced into my mouth and again duct tape wrapped around my head to hold it in place. I began begging the doctor not to put me through this with my pleading eyes, but he wouldn’t look me in the face. Once I stopped struggling against my bonds, Lisa came close to my face and began telling me what was happening. First she held up a piece of paper in front of my face.
“Remember this sweetie? This is the medical release form you signed two months ago. I know, I know, but it’s going to be all better in a few minutes. I guess after finding that letter that you forgot your little warning here last time. So, here we are once again trying to give you a refresher course. You remember the kind doctor here. He’s going to get you ready now.”
Lisa stood back and I was torn between seeing this as the real thing, or just another mock castration as she had just implied. I shook my head desperately trying to get them to stop, but it just made my wife laugh at my fruitless attempts to change her mind. I couldn’t figure out if I was truly awake or stuck in some nightmare, but either way I didn’t want to go through this again. The only thing that made me feel any better about what was happening to me was when I saw Lisa giving a quick wink to the doctor. I saw that as a gesture that this was just another reenactment so I would stop trying to escape her clutches.
Everything went nearly identical as the last time and soon the doctor was between my legs, tilting my chair back slightly. I struggled to watch for any glimpse from him that I was just being scared into behaving again, but whether it was or not, I was shaking in fear. He took the squirt bottle and sprayed some antiseptic onto gauze and began swabbing all around my scrotum. I was having trouble getting enough air through my nose and that wasn’t helping me from growing faint from the horror I was watching. In another moment, he was feeling my pelvic bone for where he wanted to apply the first shot of anesthesia, and slowly inserted the needle and squeezed the first dose into me. I was gasping for breath through my nose as I watched him apply another dose to the other side of my scrotum. Then I was sweating so much that the tape that had been holding my prick out of the way fell off, and seeing a chance to help out, Lisa held it to one side. Two more shots were administered under my testicles and then the doctor taped my cock back to my stomach area.
Finally, the doctor looked me in the eye and that made me worry greatly. It was a look of apology, and that was a bad sign to me. He quickly turned away and grabbed for some large cloth pads and worked them under my legs. I knew these as blood catchers, and they hadn’t been used the last time. Now I was out of my mind with fear. As he began placing the clamping mechanism around my balls, I stared at the jar that was again sitting on the side table among the instruments. I went back to watching as the doctor tightened down the thumb screws until he was sure they were secure. My head fell forward as I began fainting.
Suddenly I threw my head back as Lisa used more smelling salts on me. She sweetly stated, “I thought we were losing you there. Believe me; I want you to see every detail of this, because the last time just didn’t seem to take.”
I looked down again and saw that the doctor had been waiting for me to come around. I watched as everything went into slow motion as he brought each guide around to cover the jaws holding my scrotum in place. He secured them with a lever catch and looked up at me one more time. This time his face was blank. Lisa nearly pushed him off his stool as she took his place in front of me. She leaned forward and kissed my forehead as she whispered, “You gave them to me. Now do you know I mean business?”
She sat back down and this time she opened the sterile scalpel slowly in front of my eyes to heighten my fear even more. Then came another taunting lecture from her.
“After today, I trust you’ll give up this notion that you’re ever going to leave me. I don’t want to find anymore letters, I don’t want to find any money hidden away, and I don’t want everything to be a fight with you. We can come back here again and again if you like this adventure so much.”
Finally - words that this was all just another lesson on behaving as she wanted. She had it! I will never scheme against her again knowing that this is what I’d be going through. My breathing slowed a little and I felt the thumping of my heart in my chest reduce to a minimal level of anxiety. I snapped my head around and saw Frank smirking and the doctor gave me a polite smile. She was right; I would never forget this lesson ever.
I watched as she rolled the scalpel between her fingers and lamented to the doctor that she could be a surgeon. She placed her left hand under my balls and felt them a little, and then her right hand brought the scalpel down to rest on the top of the guides. She looked up at the doctor and asked, “Is he really numb down here?”
He told her I was as numb as the last time.
I watched her slide the scalpel down to touch my skin and she asked, “Then he won’t feel this then?” With that she made the tiniest slice into my scrotum. I began freaking out and prayed that she was just taking my intimidation one step further. I screamed into my gag begging her to stop. She looked at Frank, then the doctor, and then up at me. In a butter melting voice she asked me, “You see what I can do to you? You going to behave me now?”
I nodded my head frantically.
“Good, then you won’t mind me collecting these now. You watching sweetie?”
Then as we both looked down, I watched in abject horror as I saw her slide the knife down further. This time her hand wasn’t hiding anything and it was surreal as I watched her dragging the scalpel through the entire length of the guides, and then my balls and scrotum fell away into her hand. My eyes nearly fell from my head trying to see them still attached to me, but instead I followed her left hand as she brought the vestiges of my manhood up close to my face. I was in shock and mortified that she had gone through with actually castrating me. I managed to pry my eyes from my removed testicles to see a face I’ll never forget in my life. She was so pleased with what she had done to me. I turned to the doctor and could instantly tell she had caught him by surprise as well. I looked back and I saw her grab the vessel from the table and slowly worked my balls in through the neck of the jar, and once in there she held the bottle back in front of my eyes to show me what she had done.
The doctor was pushing her to one side and immediately donned more gloves and began tearing open a suturing kit. He sat in front of me and began pulling the guide plates back and I saw the folds of my remaining skin part and the smallest drops of blood were forming. The doctor first pulled on what appeared to be the open end of veins out far enough to place them into knots. He then folded the layers of skin inward and immediately made the first suture. I watched that step repeated eleven times. They were talking rapidly amongst each other, but I was in such a state of shock that I had no idea what their words meant. I did understand that the doctor wasn’t pleased with my wife, but she seemed overly delighted. After the last suture, he washed the area thoroughly and began trying to get me to listen to him at first, and when I couldn’t comprehend what he was saying, he began telling Lisa that she had to keep dabbing the wound for a half hour. He stood up and looked at the jar and then at me.
I watched as he went over and began pouring liquid from a plastic bottle into the jar right up to the top. Lisa placed the top back on with such care that it looked like she was holding a bomb. All I could do was look down at where my balls had been minutes ago. I began running through my future and how I would have to hide this shame for the rest of my life. I wondered what this would mean as far as Lisa was concerned. The realization that I would never ejaculate ever again seemed to hit me the hardest. I never wanted kids, but I had expected to have a long sex life.
The rest of the night was a haze except for one event I will never get out of my mind. When we arrived home, Lisa insisted that I stand in front of the mantel as she carefully placed that fucking jar prominently in the middle of the knickknacks on each side of it. I saw my severed testicles resting on a slight angle within the confines of its etched walls. When I fell forward, Frank caught me and helped me to the bedroom.
I awoke sometime before dawn and in the dark I saw I was alone. I remembered enough of what had been done to me to gently run two fingers between my legs, and all except for the ridge of sutures, there was nothing but a flattened area. I either passed out or fell asleep, but it was daylight before I woke again. I instantly saw my wife sitting in a chair beside the bed with a huge smile on her face.
“Oh, sweetie, does it still hurt? Maybe… a little.”
How could she act so caringly after she was the cause of my mutilation? She stood up and pulled the sheet covering me back, forced my legs apart and ran her hand softly over the sutures.
“Man, you’re so smooth down there now. Whoops… maybe I shouldn’t have put it that way. But after all, your new name is Danielle now, isn’t it? I know it’ll take a couple of days, but you’ll be on your feet and cooking meals again in no time. I do have to ask you though; can I be sure… that you aren’t going to try running away now?”
Did I really have a choice at the moment? Would I even have one after I healed? I slowly shook my head and closed my eyes. I had a million questions, but none I wanted to ask now. I politely as possible asked her to leave me the fuck alone, and to my surprise, she got up to leave. At the door she turned back and just had to take a parting shot. “Touchy, touchy! Lose a couple of balls and you get all bitchy like a girl on the rag.”
After she left though, I found a part of my old self and actually laughed a little over the absurdity of her taunt. She gave me about four hours before coming back and I was surprised to see she had made me a meal. Unfortunately; she wanted to talk again. Just to give her a show of my own sarcasm I reminded her that I hadn’t taken my hormones yet today. That was just enough to get us talking as I sat up to eat. I was still nude and as I sat up, I couldn’t help but be aware of what I now understood were forming breasts as my chest shifted positions in a very unmanly way.
She started with, “Okay, so you’ve had a little time to think about things. I want to be completely serious and get everything out in the open. There’s no turning the clock back, so we have to figure out where we go from here. I want to work this out so we can get back to what we had the other day. Until I found that letter, I thought you had come around to embracing your training as the perfect house husband. You have no idea how hurt I felt when I found out that you were plotting against me.”
“How I hurt you? Look at what you did to me. You fucking mutilated me and you think that’s okay? And how about your promise that it would be my choice?”
“I’m sorry for that, but you really pissed me off. All I wanted was to make a perfect life for us. And now we have it if you just get over your short-sightedness. We have everything we wanted, right? You bitched about your job day after day. You were all too happy to hand over earning the money to me, and haven’t I’ve been taking good care of you? And don’t tell me that you haven’t come around to enjoying a lot of what I’ve been doing to you. I’ve been watching your face, your body language, not to mention how much you’ve been changing. I should feel like the luckiest girl in the world now, so can’t we just get past this bullshit? What’s done is done!”
I grabbed at my chest and sarcastically asked, “And what about these? How am I supposed to hide these and still be your perfect husband?”
Her snicker infuriated me as she answered, “Don’t worry about them; there’s a lot of ways to hide those. We just have to be creative.”
“The same way you’ll hide my missing sack? You think I can just cover these things up with some clothes? God damn it… you turned me into a… a fucking freak show. I’m not a man anymore – how can I be a husband?”
My wife stood up and demanded that I simmer down. She pushed my tray to one side and began running the flat of her fingers over my new scar. “Just feel this… and look at it. You’re so damn smooth down here now. Doesn’t this intrigue you even a little bit?”
Her voice had grown as soothing and soft as the doctor that had helped her mutilate me, and unfortunately, that robbed me of my ability to flame out at her. I was near to tears when I begged to know, “What am I suppose to do now. I’m not a man; I’m not anything but a freak. I can’t even talk to anybody about this to help me get through it.”
Lisa looked worried for the first time. “You can always talk to me and now that we’re closer, we can even talk easier about everything and the secrets are behind us. But I do have to ask you one thing. Are you going to the cops?”
I was puzzled over her question and nearly whined as I answered her. “What? How… how in the hell do you think I could tell anyone, let alone the cops? You think I want anyone to know the freak you’ve turned me into?”
She began smiling and again I wanted to lash out, but then she explained why she had become so pleased.
“I’m so glad to hear that, and so won’t the doctor when I tell him. He was certain that you would get him in trouble. You just have to believe me when I tell you that you can tell me anything. You can talk to Frank about things. You’re right that I am responsible for doing this to you and I’m fully prepared to do anything to help you through this… transition. Can’t you see what’s in your future now?”
I hung my head as I told her I had no future. And I scoffed at her thinking that Frank would help me since he had already laughed at me over becoming a eunuch. To that she said that he might be useful in teaching me how to interact with men, but then added the word, “sexually”.
“I have to know… why did you do this to me? Couldn’t you see… that I was already changing just because of your fucking black mail? You couldn’t wait a few more months, and then I would still have my balls.”
That shocked my wife.
“Wow! I knew you were coming around, but I didn’t know you were seeing that, too.” I could see her twisting things around in her head. “Then what are you so fucking mad about? I just helped things go faster. You should be thanking me for helping your feminine side come out.”
I was appalled that she thought I should thank her for anything. I needed a moment to be by my self and the only way I could come up with to get her to leave for at least a minute was to ask her for my pills.
“No way honey, not now. We have to cut back on those a little for a few days. Your body’s not making testosterone anymore, so if we add female hormones to that you’ll be popping out overnight. Besides, I never wanted you to have huge boobs. I just wanted a little something for me and Frank to play with without exposing you to the rest of the world.”
I looked down at the new protrusions on my chest and thought about how I already matched up with a girl budding. Even my nipples had started growing a little. I asked, “What am I suppose to do now. You think Frank will magically become understanding?”
Lisa jumped on the bed and rubbed my leg. “Say the word and he’s gone. After doing that to you in the trailer behind my back, I’m ready to send him on his way anyway. Besides, he’s been a little bothersome to me lately as well. I would have to wean myself off him for a while, because he really is a good fuck, but if he’s going to keep you in a shell, I’ll ditch him just for you. But…”
I didn’t like that “but”.
“I do want you to have a… boyfriend. It’s cute, and it gets me hotter than all hell. I have to be honest with you; you remember that night we went bar hopping and we saw those biker guys… well that night I realized that watching those men force that guy to suck their cocks was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Seeing you put on your knees makes me cum and scream inside like a banshee.”
I responded with, “I know! I knew ever since that night that that was why you were doing this to me. And I was just beginning to accept… doing that stuff because it turned you into a descent person again. You know I always like seeing you losing it. That was why you started sitting on me when I ate you out so I could see your face easier.”
Her rubbing of my leg became even more concerned.
“Aw, that’s so sweet! You knew that all this time and were still doing it for me? You see, we can work this out. And there’s something else I know about you that you don’t think I know.” She batted her lashes at me flirtatiously and announced, “I’ve watched you closely. I know that you’re overcoming your fear of sperm. I’ve seen the way you sort of hand yourself over to me and Frank when it’s time to do your thing. You like it now, don’t you?”
Her teasing me ruffled my fur, but after everything that had happened I figured now was as good of a time as any to admit a little something to her. Maybe it would instill a little guilt in her over castrating me.
“Okay, yeah I’ve gotten a little use to it, but it’s still disgusting.”
Her hand rubbed furiously at my leg as if jostling my hair and replied, “But you’re doing it for me? Damn, you see? With just a little more work you can be my secret little girlfriend and we can share things like best friends. Wouldn’t it be great sharing secrets about our dates and boyfriends?”
I couldn’t believe what she was saying. Girlfriends? Boyfriends? The one thing that she was accomplishing now was that she was calming me down from the rage I had felt earlier. I loved seeing her giddy mood; I just wish it hadn’t come about this way. I decided that I needed to hit the head and began getting off the bed. She helped me walk slowly to the bathroom and after a few steps I stopped.
“What’s wrong? Your stitches okay? They hurt?”
I couldn’t explain why I was telling her, but I needed to tell someone what I had immediately felt during my first steps.
“It’s just… it feels so weird… down there. It feels so empty.”
For once her smile made me feel… somehow better. I was feeling closer to her than I had in two months for all the wrong reasons. When in the bathroom, I was about to stand to piss since it would be easier, but my wife in her softer and teasing tone said, “No, no honey.” She worked me around and added, “You have to learn to do this the right way. A lady sits to pee.”
I had been through this with her before, but for some reason it didn’t seem nearly as emasculating now and more like a concerned reaction on her part despite it still being part of my training. As I emptied my bladder, I knew I was going to have to come to terms with my new developments and that meant in every aspect of my life. I loved the way my wife was finally doting over me and seeing her care for my needs had a soothing effect to what she had done to me. As she walked me back to the bedroom, I couldn’t get the empty sensation out of my head. Walking seemed easier than before with that space voided. And another side effect of that free space was that I felt my hips turning from side-to-side with every step. I thought about how a woman’s ass sways as she walks and wondered if that was entirely because of their own empty area. That was when things got a little embarrassing. Both of us noticed my reaction to that thought as my cock began growing stiff. Lisa teased me over it and I finally had to admit to her that it was a very weird sensation for a man to feel no appendages down there after a lifetime of dealing with them.
I was tired and went back to sleep for a few hours and when Lisa came back she was as bubbly as an in-love school girl.
“I… have… the… wildest news for you. I didn’t tell you yet, but I saw how you went after Stan, you know, the doctor that day. Sure, the first time you didn’t have any choice because you were strapped down, but afterwards? Well, I just got off the phone with him. He is so pleased that you aren’t running to the cops. I told him how we’re patching things up and how your outlook on life is coming along. And then, well, he… you’ll never believe this.”
I was still trying to get my eyes to open completely and wondering what in the hell was tickling her fancy so much.
“He wants to come by and make sure you’re…” and with a big wink, “coming along. You know, you still owe him a thank you for his services and I could tell he was getting horny just knowing you weren’t seriously mad at him. What do you think? You ready to play doctor?”
At first I frowned and sneered at her, but as she kept talking like some airhead schoolgirl, I began remembering our time together. He had been the first guy I had willingly gone down on. I remembered how he had been so unlike Frank in the way he had held my head and guided me to what he wanted instead of just mashing my face. It was also the first time I hadn’t been made to feel like some freakish faggot, and that’s probably why I felt at ease enough to make his cum the first I really worked to taste.
I guess I had drifted off, because Lisa slapped my knee playfully and asked, “So, you going to do him?”
“What?” I shook my head to shake out the cobwebs and asked, “You know it’s not up to me. I’m the last one to have a say in anything.”
She playfully slapped my knee again and retorted, “Not anymore sweety! We girls have to stick together. Now you get to call the shots, at least some of the time, when involving your own dates.”
“I’m not a fucking girl!”
“You’ll come around Danielle. When it comes to men, you’ll find getting a little effeminate in your mind will help you please them better. And this time I’m leaving it all up to you. You want to blow him… it’s your choice.” She bumped my side with her hips and asked in a hushed tone, “What do you think? You gonna do him?”
What the hell was she doing to me? I felt my face flush with embarrassment, but if I could be honest with her, yeah, I probably would let him have a go at me. Again, what the hell was she doing to me? Did I just take on a feminine persona in allowing that kind of response to work its way into my thoughts.
After needling me for several minutes, I finally told her that he was, after all, the guy that had made my castration possible and I had good reason to hate him. She reminded me that sex is always a love/hate relationship. It sure was between us now. And finally she got me to say that, if he approached me right, that I would “give him his fucking payment”. When I told her that, she ran out of the bedroom and came running back a minute later with my hormone pills and handed them to me.
“I thought you said I shouldn’t take these for a while?”
“Well, we have to cut them back, but you want your new girls to be perky for a doctor, for Pete’s sake. He is really handsome, and tall, and dreamy; don’t you think? Anyways, these will make them fuller and taut. Mixed with your new lack of testosterone, you’ll be a knockout by tomorrow.”
It took her a while to convince me, but eventually I took the pills from her and downed them. I couldn’t get rid of her for two hours until I needed even more sleep. I couldn’t believe how turned on she had become over the doctor coming to see me and how she had turned things around so quickly between us. I was still pissed to no end, but she was making me feel better since she was finally coming clean with me. It was really weird the way she totally assumed I was now her best girlfriend and still, her neutered husband at the same time. I knew she saw me now as having the best of two worlds with me. And her uplifted mood was somewhat of a turn on for me; especially since she was now more conciliatory towards my feelings and had talked about giving me back the ability to make some of my own decisions. When she gave me some time alone to dwell on my new “station” in life, I blew my own mind over some of the thoughts I had and how I was looking at things in such a different way now.
I looked down at my flattened and tortured body area, and reached down to feel it. Just a few rubs did something wild to me and as I was hating the doctor for his role in my castration, my cock began to swell. At least I knew I could still get hard, but I had to find out the next part of things. Despite the lingering pain, I began slowly working my fist on my cock and though I didn’t have the same sensations I normally had, I did feel something… compelling. I worked on my self for several minutes, but then it hit me; nothing was happening. Did I actually expect cum to rush out of my body? Ejaculation was a thing of the past. If at least Lisa had “fixed” me the normal way, I would still be able to get off. I just wouldn’t be able to have kids, but I hadn’t wanted any anyways. I remembered the night before and how Lisa had triumphantly sucked me off just to feed me my own sperm. Knowing that I would never produce cum anymore left me saddened, and I remembered how I had passed out feeling that tingling sensation of my very last cum.
By the time the good doctor was due to embarrass me even further the next day, Lisa had hit on just about every topic imaginable concerning my new state of affairs. When she wasn’t trying to pry her way into what my new role might bring us, she was out rightly teasing me to tell her how far I would go with the doctor if he wanted something more down the line. I think I was even more amazed by how quickly my loss of testosterone was affecting my attitude almost by the minute. I feared mentioning it to Lisa at first, but when I did, she admitted that she was seeing it as well. I guess that was the main reason I would sit still and listen to all the little zings she was taking at me.
Every time she brought up the doctor, I seemed to blush over what she was assuming, and a little because I was falling into the very role my wife had set out for me in the first place. I still was unaware at this point that my castration wasn’t truly the end of the line as far as her plan went, and in so many ways I would be glad in the end not to have found out what was up her sleeve. I saw the doctor at this point as somewhat a starting point. He was probably the only one that would really fill me in on all the things I wanted to know – both the positive aspects that Lisa had been driving home already and the negatives. Hiding what she was doing to me was at the forefront of my questions for him, but also for his medical knowledge.
Lisa came running up to me and hopped to a stop in front of me. “He’s on his way! He just called to make sure we were here and it should be about fifteen minutes.”
My first reaction was utter embarrassment and a trembling sensation that was totally foreign to me. I couldn’t look at my wife for fear of her reading my mind as she was proving was rather easy at the moment. While my back was turned to her, she came up behind me and ran her hands up under my shirt to feel my boobs. They were still barely showing, but they felt bloated under her grab.
“You see; didn’t I tell you those pills would pick them right up and make them taut? Now we have to show them off a little and who knows, maybe your next boyfriend will be a doctor.” With that she tugged on my hand and led me to the bedroom where she started rummaging through the closet. I was wondering what she was planning until I saw her come at me with a tight knit halter top. “Here, put this on.”
“I’m not wearing that. That’s your shirt. I’m not going to start cross-dressing even for you.”
“Put… the… fucking… top on. I’m not going to argue with you about this. Just do as you’re told.”
That was the first harsh words that had come out of her in two days, so a little intimidated; I began doing as she ordered. I felt absolutely weird pulling that shirt over my head, but when I pulled it down over my growing chest, it got much worse. It was too small for me and that made it even more form fitting than it was on my wife. She came over to me with a skirt in her hand and after dropping it on the bed, she began pushing my new growth around under the shirt situating them for what she considered to be the best look.
“You look like such a slut without a bra. You nasty girl… I like that. Don’t worry though, you’ll get some bras down the road.” She had to see I wasn’t amused. “Now here, put this on… and no panties.”
She handed me the skirt and after all but threatening me with my life, I finally dropped my pants and tried figuring out the proper way to put on a skirt. It was extremely short and the opening beneath me felt nearly as weird as the new voided area between my legs. Every movement reminded me of my near exposure to the world. I saw myself in the mirror and begged Lisa to let me change, but her mind was set. When we heard a knock on the door, she jumped into the air to run for the door even as I begged a final time for some form of dignity.
I hid out in the bedroom hoping that it was someone at the door other than the doctor, but in short order I was being summoned to the front room. I crossed my arms trying to cover my growth spurt and headed out to meet my newest trial. I could tell the doctor was just as surprised as I was by his face. Lisa ordered me to put my arms down as it wasn’t lady-like to hold my arms that way. When I dropped them, she turned to the doctor and said, “Well, what do you think. Isn’t she pretty as anything?” Then leaning in as if not to let me hear, “She’s still a little butch looking, but we’re working on that.”
To emphasize my attire to the doctor, she gave us a formal introduction. “Doctor Roberts, this is my girlfriend, Danielle. Danielle, offer the man your hand.”
I guess he felt like he should play along and only held the tips of my fingers when I offered him my hand as if he had given me a complete sex change. “Please, call me Stan, Danielle is it? And how are you doing today? Everything staying clean and healing well I hope.”
Lisa took over answering all his trivial questions and telling him how things had been going between us. There was no hiding her exuberance however. After a couple of minutes she asked Stan if he wanted to check me out for infections and such. He told her that that was what he was here for and asked where we could go. At first she told me to strip right there, but thankfully the doctor balked and she kicked up my embarrassment another notch.
“Oh, that’s right. That’s so silly of me… you probably want a little privacy. You two can use the bedroom. There aren’t any stirrups, but I’m sure you’ll get to see everything necessary.” And as I led him to the bedroom, she included one last parting shot; probably meant more as an invitation. “Now don’t get fresh with my girl now, doc.”
Once I had closed the door, I apologized to Stan for some reason. Considering what he had helped do to me, he’s the one that should be apologizing to me – for the rest of his life. We both stood there facing each other awkwardly until he finally said I should probably lift my skirt so he could take a look. Feebly I lifted it a little and when he found it hard to see anything, he suggested I lie back on the bed. I did that and raised the skirt up so he had a perfect view of what they had done. He looked at first, told me how everything looked better than normal, and then asked if he could feel the area. I told him to do what he had to do and turned my head away from his stare.
As he began running his fingers in an inspection way over my sutures, he began talking in his calming way. “Lisa told me that you were already taking female hormones, but I didn’t know they were having any effect yet. After a couple of weeks you can start them again.”
“She has me taking them again now.”
“You really shouldn’t mix them with the male hormones I gave her, they could…”
He realized what she was doing and decided to change the subject. And now I knew what she was doing, too.
He began staring at my pronounced chest through the tight fitting shirt and in a very hesitating voice he asked, “Would you mind… if maybe I had a look?”
My obvious question was, “Why, could something be wrong?”
“No, no, I was just interested…”
In my lying position it was impossible not to notice he was getting a boner, and something came over me when I noticed that. I sat up on the edge of the bed and fumbled trying to get the top over my head. I’m not sure of how to describe it, but a wild type of heat ran through me and suddenly I knew Lisa was going to get her way.
I stared up to see the doctor burning a hole into my chest with his eyes, and I found myself standing up to face him. “Go ahead, you can feel them.”
He seemed like a man blessed as he began fondling my chest as if inspecting my wife’s handiwork. It felt good and I felt my chest heaving under his touch and it seemed to automatically push into his hands.
Stan mumbled how many a man would love to be in his place. I felt him weirder than I would like saying that, but when I looked into his eyes and saw he was actually lusting for me, I began physically shaking as he groped lightly at me. I knew I was about to take a step that Lisa would kill to see, but I just had to do it. I backed away from him and his hands fell away. I worked the skirt down over my hips, and saw that they were taking on a new shape that made it a little harder than it should be, and stepped out of it.
“So, what do you think now? Am I a fucking freak or what?”
His face was priceless over the new convert I had become. I moved ever so slightly forward and he took my hint as to what I was offering him. One hand went back to my chest and began tweaking at my nipples. I was amazed that something that had been so tender just minutes earlier now seemed delighted to be toyed with, and it felt good. His other hand ran down my back and began squeezing my ass and then came around to feel between my legs. He buried his head into my neck as if to hide from me and got lost exploring my body. He seemed especially interested in feeling the flattened spot he had created and I realized that maybe Lisa had found a twin with her same desires. He seemed to purposely avoid touching my cock, and even though I felt really horny, it remained as flaccid as if it were in a cold river. I found my legs spreading almost involuntarily for him and after a moment he did the oddest thing yet in my new role. He pulled his head back, stared into my stunned eyes, and began kissing me. At first I fought such a revolting action, but when I understood he was seeing me more as a woman than a man, I gave in and even kissed him back. I felt so ashamed as a man to do something so fucking gay, but my new sense of thinking made me more interested in just pleasing this guy who’s hands I had willingly invited to touch me.
After kissing another man for the first time, some new emotion came over me and I reached out to see just how interested in me he really was in the only way one might; I grabbed his crotch and began feeling his boner for me. It was extremely hard and when I thought about how gently he had taken me that first time in his office, I slowly began falling away from his hands until I was on my knees in front of him.
He looked down at me and asked, “Payday?”
I nodded my head twice and reached for his belt. As I began preparing this man for what I wanted to do to him, I had my first real feeling of what it had to feel like for a gay guy. When I had successfully managed to get his pants and shorts down to his ankles, I looked up and lost my breath. I had been getting use to doing this to Frank, but this was so much different. I really felt like it was my place to relieve this man in the same way any woman might do for him. I wrapped my hand around his shaft and felt how hard he was for me, and leaned in to absorb that smooth tip of his cock into my mouth. And then I had to have more of him in me and went down on him as deep as I could. When I heard him moaning, it drove me into a frenzy and I had a mission to make him cum for me. Ironic, considering he was the very person that had just robbed me of that same ability.
I felt his hands go to the back of my head again and it felt so comforting to me. I put my hands over his and pulled them against my head to show him I wanted him to guide my efforts. Just as the last time, he took my lead and ran with it. As he held my head down on his cock as far as it would go, I gagged a little, but this time he was sure he had my permission, and time after time he repeated this motion until I gagged or choked just a little. I realized that instead of my cock growing hard, it was my nipples that felt so hard that they felt like they would burst. I relaxed my head and allowed him to control it just the way he needed. I guess it was the feeling of being needed so much by this guy that made this so easy for me. I really wanted him to have the very best time he could possibly have with me. I wondered again if it were the pills, my training, or now perhaps the loss of my balls that was causing me to act this way. Two months ago it would take as many bikers as what had started all this just to get a cock in my mouth, and now here I was craving the feel of a man’s cock to use my mouth entirely for his pleasure.
From somewhere I heard, “You like that?”
I looked up and nodded my head.
“You know, I didn’t know she was going to do that the other night. She had told me that she just wanted to scare the hell out of you again.”
Without allowing his cock to fall from my mouth, I looked back up and tried to smile for him. I was glad that he had been duped as much as me.
“But you know, seeing you like this makes me think that maybe she’s onto something here. You really are good at this. I thought you were going to hate me and not want to ever see me again.”
I was happy to hear his words of comfort. It was nice knowing that the guy I was working so hard to satisfy appreciated my efforts. I pulled his hands against my head again and he lost himself in just getting the best blowjob that he could from me. When the gagging became repetitive, I knew he was getting ready to cum for me. For some reason I felt his balls and rubbed them softly as if I was remembering my own. When I felt his first shot, I thrust my head forward so his entire load would be headed where all men want it to go. I felt my throat filling up and swallowed the best I could and waited for more. I repeated that action several times until I was sure he was done, and then took several deep plunges down onto his cock to finish him off.
When I was through satisfying my own needs, I pulled back and instantly felt ashamed over what I had just done. I cleared my throat as I stood up and turned away. He realized the guilt I felt and wrapped his arms around me to keep me from walking away.
“Its okay, Dan. It’s going to take you a while to get use to this, but I’ve got to tell you, that was one of the best blowjobs I ever got. I still can’t believe you did that after what I helped her do to you.”
Not quite understanding what I meant, he asked, “What?”
“Danielle, remember. That’s her new name for me.”
“You don’t mind it?”
I took a long pause and replied, “A little, but what can I do about it. I guess after what I just did to you, it may be fitting. If you use it with her, she’ll love you for it.”
I turned and asked, “So, does everything look okay? And… not taking the pills you gave her… will that do anything bad to me?”
Stan thought about it for a moment and was very honest with me. “No, it won’t hurt you, but taking her pills will accelerate… you know, what’s happening to your body.” He reached up and grabbed my ass as I had turned around trying to pull the skirt back on and said, “Such as this! And your voice will get a little higher, you’ll start losing a bit of body hair, not to mention muscle mass in certain areas. You’re hips are already jutting out a little, too.”
I began pulling my wife’s shirt over my head and found he doctor copping a last feel of my chest. I waited for a moment until he removed his hand and finished pulling it down.
I began leading Stan back to the living room where I knew Lisa would be waiting to pepper him with an onslaught of questions; both medical and what had gone on behind closed doors. He stopped me and asked me what he should say to her about what had happened between us, and since I knew there would be no hiding it anyway, I told him to tell her the truth.
Sure enough, she wasn’t just waiting for us, but had poured drinks for us as well.
“So, do we celebrate or what? Everything look okay so far?”
Stan told her everything looked great and mentioned how she had not giving me the replacement hormone pills. It was nice seeing someone take a whack at her. But she brushed it off and went on to say, “So, what took so long? He didn’t… I mean, she didn’t give you a hard time did she?”
Stan looked at me as he spoke and replied, “We were just discussing things, such as his… development.”
Lisa quipped, “Come on now doc, don’t tell me she didn’t pay you for your services? And this house call? What doctor ever makes house calls anymore? You gotta tell me you got a little something off her.”
Stan looked at her as he was about to swig off his drink and just before taking it said, “No, no, Danielle made good on her debt. You’re all paid up.”
My wife sidled up next to him and bumped his hip with hers and asked, “Was she good to you? But more importantly, was she nice to you?”
He looked back at me and even though I was openly blushing over her questions, he replied, “She was very nice… and I hope to see her again. If nothing else, you have to come back in five days for me to remove the stitches. And yes, Danielle was very good.”
Lisa took first Stan’s hand and then mine and began walking us over to the fireplace. I knew what she was going to do and I tried pulling away from her, but soon we were standing right there. She told the doctor that he had to see her ‘trophy’ and immediately pointed to the very vessel that was now the permanent home of my balls. I had avoided this sight since getting back to me feet. I had only caught a glimpse of them that night she had stolen them away from me, but now I looked at them right in front of my eyes for the first time. My mouth was gaping open, my breath labored, and it felt like my heart would burst from pumping so hard. There they were; my once most vital organs that was the standard by which men are measured. They looked as though they had just been harvested from me. I remembered the sight of them as they fell away from my body and into my wife’s hand, and everything began fading away. A moment later I was coming to as the doctor was holding me in a sitting position on the floor. When I looked around trying to understand that I had fainted, the smile on my wife’s face said it all – for some reason she was extremely happy to see how the sight of my own balls in the vessel on the mantel had affected me.
It turned out that Lisa talked the doctor into coming back to the house to remove the stitches when it was time and I could only assume it was for her to watch something happen between us.
After ten minutes, Stan was headed for the door and Lisa stopped him to give him a kiss on the lips. “Maybe next time you’ll have time to examine me.” She turned to me and asked, “Aren’t you going to say goodbye to the good doctor for coming to see you?”
I had only done that in one way in the past with Frank and wasn’t exactly sure what she was asking of me. So I took and made a best effort to make her happy. I went over to him, felt his crotch as I normally would to say goodbye to Frank, and then added a kiss to the side of his face. Lisa raised her eyebrows over that and then grinned from ear to ear.
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