Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience. 20/01/2011 Dear Reader Thanks for stopping by. You won't find a story here really, more a collection of filthy fantasies and a few short tales of filthy happenings from my own masturbatory life that will be updated as the days, weeks and months go by. Part of the reason for writing this "blog" is because I'm sick of not posting anything. It takes me fucking forever to get new stories finished and ready for posting for you guys to read and as I type I have 6 or 7 unfinished stories sat on a flash drive begging to be finished, but I just don't get much time to do it. So I thought this shouldn't take so much time up, if I just come on and add a fantasy or quick story every now and then. As it's my birthday tomorrow and I've taken a few days off work, I thought this would be a good time to start. Those that have come across me before and read some of my stories will know the kind of shit that I like. For those that don't, here's where you can find my stories: http://www.asstr.org/files/Authors/Mr_Shade/ but heed the warnings, I don't fuck about. So, the things that get Mr Shade off and fester around in his brain until nastier and nastier fantasies appear, the things I write about, the things that will be featured in this..."blog" will be bukkake, incest, sex with babies and young girls, beastiality, gangbangs, celebrities, rape, spit, snot, piss, scat, and, my favourite, vomit. So let's start at the top and work our way down into the depths of depravity - what kind of women do I like? I like and love all kinds of women. I love curves but I also find girls without curves attractive and beautiful, and I've probably been with as many curvy girls as petite girls. I don't think there are many girls I would turn down in all truth and honesty, but if I see a girl who's wearing 10 inch platform heels (I have a womens shoe fetish too), toned or muscular legs, a bare shaved cunt, a flat stomach, big fake tits (bigger the better!), long fake fingernails, blonde hair and slutty make-up then I'm gonna fuck her until I can't get a hard on anymore. I love the type of women who go to that effort to look like a walking fuck toy, who virtually seem to give up their normal lives in order to become a bimbo who believes that their purpose in life is to look hot and service hard cocks. On the other hand the love of my life so far was a petite girl of 5"2 who was incredibly beautiful (looked a little like Jennifer Aniston facially) and wasn't sexualised at all. Don't get me wrong, she was older than me and was very intelligent and wasn't childlike, but she had a beautiful air of innocence to her and I fell in love with her without even noticing for quite a while. Now that was a few years ago and I regulary masturbate over her, fantasising about her becoming a filthy fuckpig who would do anything for a sexual thrill. She was a massive dog lover, so I regulary imagine her lovely little body being fucked by mutts. I also love heavily pregnant women (this too will be explored at depth, starting shortly!), older women, and have masturbated over women as old as 65 as far as I know, and of course I have also masturbated to the thought of newborn babies being fucked and cummed on. So from the above you can probably see that no matter what the female, I can find them sexy and/or fuckable. What kind of guys do I like? I'm not gay, but I may be a little bisexual. I don't find guys attractive, but I do like a good hard thick cock that's dripping cum, and if I'm gonna see one of those then I like to see it attached to a guy with a muscular stomach and thick thighs. I don't like to look at a guys face when it comes to sex/masturbating/porn/whatever. A few years ago I was on holiday with some mates. We all fell asleep in the sun one afternoon and woke up hideously sunburnt. I didn't get the worst of it but it did mess with my head a little. That night I had a dream I'd never had before. The setting, for some unknown reason as I'd only seen it a couple of times and don't like the song, was the video for Kylie Minogue's "Slow" (if you haven't seen it the google it), only in my head that night everybody was male, everybody was naked, everybody was muscular and everybody had a huge cock. They were mainly all in pairs, one guy on his back with another guy leaning over and sucking the first guy off. But, just like the video, the ground with writhing with people and the were all sucking each other off. I woke up in the morning horny as hell and for the next several months I started collecting pictures of huge, hard cocks and regularly jacking off over them. I even started eating my own cum and twice, when I was feeling particularly nasty, slid some stuff up my ass. But then one night when I was out I met and old friend from school I hadn't seen for about 6 or 7 years. We talked for a while and then I rejoined my mates. We went off somewhere else but it was shit, so I sent a text to this old friend and ended up going off to meet him. As it turned out by the time I found him he was queueing to get the last bus of the night home. I was pretty drunk and ended up getting on the bus with him, and then finding out it was the wrong bus for me and having to phone a taxi anyway... When we arrived at his stop we walked to his place where he was going to ring a taxi. That's when he, out of the blue, asked if he could kiss me. "What? No." I very quickly and concisely answered. I knew he was gay, but it was still a surprise to have him ask me this question. Anyway, I told him that I just wasn't gay and no offence to him but I couldn't ever kiss a guy. I since have kissed a straight guy for a dare whilst drunk. He stuck his tongue in my mouth, and I threw up straight after after having just enough time to push people out of the way and make it to the toilets in time. Anyway, that's the extent of my gay experiences. So, I have many, many, many nasty fantasies, some of which I've fleshed out and turned into stories, but the hottest thing outside of having sex that had been a fantasy that I've carried out has been spitting on a pregnant woman. I love pregnant women. Their tits get bigger, they get even more lovely curves...they get more and more beautiful as the pregnancy goes on. Several years ago I worked in a shop. There was the boss, me and then 2 part time staff. It was only a small shop, but pretty busy. After a couple of years the boss had changed a couple of times and I was running the place since the last one left (she was pregnant and left to have the kid). After a few months I got a call to say that we were getting a new manager (I wasn't happy, especially as we'd been running a member of staff short for 4 months and our takings were at least the same as the previous year, if not slightly higher). So when the new boss started I, unfortunately, gave her a frosty reception. We barely spoke, but on reflection it was all me being a moody fucker while she was trying to make friends. Anyway, skip forward 6 weeks and we were making out in the back office while the two part timers were running the shop. We stayed late after the shop shut, we closed the store early some days, we volunteered to go and run other shops that we knew were quiet while their normal staff were off sick, all so we could spend more time making out. I say just making out, because all the time she was married and had been for about 7 or 8 years. Throughtout the entire time this was going on she was saying things like "Don't expect me to fall in love with you, it's just fun to help the days go by quicker", and my reply was usually "Yeah yeah whatever, shut up and kiss me". Anyway, we did end up falling in love, and a couple of months later she told me she was pregnant. Not by me, as she still wouldn't let me fuck her. I was pretty annoyed. Afterall, even if we did keep up our special employer/employee relationship, she'd be leaving in several months. So I did what any self respecting man would do. I kept making out with my married, pregnant boss until the day she left. Things got as far as spending a night together in a hotel bed whilst away on a training course, where I still didn't get to fuck her but did dry hump her to orgasm during a few hours of frustrating rolling around. It was alwasy horny with her and she also shared some fetishes, such as seeing women in very high or bizarre heels both drove us crazy and started a frenzied making out and groping session. She also liked women so if a particularly sexy bitch had just been in the store and we were alone she'd say something dirty about her when she'd left which would set us off. Anyway, with her I noticed that her eyes would glaze over and she'd soak her panties any time I went to kiss her but had built up a mouth full of spit that I pushed into her mouth. After a couple of times of her drinking my spit like that I started asking if she'd let me spit on her. I couldn't very well just go ahead and spit on her, she was still my boss afterall. So this went on for quite a while, every now and then me asking if I could spit on her big pregnant tits or in her face, and of course she always said no. Until, much to my surprise, one day when she was about 7 months pregnant and pretty damned huge, when we were walking to my car after work. I asked her again and out of nowhere, on a hot and sunny late afternoon during rush hour, she said "Ok then" and stopped. Her blouse was the same one she had from before she was pregnant so it was extremely tight and she couldn't get all of the buttons done up but right there, less than 20 feet from the busy road, she undid another button, pulled it down further and told me to spit on her big udders. I did, and then stuck my face in her cleavage and licked it up before kissing her with it and having her swallow. We went back to my car and sat in it for about an hour making out as I rubbed her big tits, big belly and increasingly soaking wet cunt through her clothes. She was wearing panties and trousers and my fingers were still soaked and sticky. On the subject of spit, it was year or so after that incident and I'd broken my foot and was laid up at home in a plaster cast. It was a stupidly hot summer and the 2006 World Cup had just started. Sat around all day barley able to move in the heat was driving me crazy, and when I'm hot and bored I get horny...obviously. So one of these days I was wanking and getting hotter and hotter. I couldn't move around much so thought fuck it, and just spat on my own chest and stomach. It felt amazing, the heat of the spit initially hitting my skin followed by the coolness off every little breeze catching it. Before I knew it I'd covered my body in spit and was cumming like a train all over myself. As the weeks went on I started doing this more regularly. Messy, yes, but it felt so good to feel and see all that spit running all over my body. I fully encourage anybody reading this that hasn't tried it before to pull up a hot story, pictures or movie that gets you going and to masturbate whilst drooling and spitting all over yourself. Play with it a bit. There's nothing to lose but you may gain a very nice sensation. Then, male or female it doesn't matter, send me a picture of your spit drenched body to email@example.com! You send me yours and I'll send you mine! Ha. Ok, so there's a couple of stories from my past. I should probably end this entry with a current fantasy. I kind of have two at the moment: one which started around the same time as the spitting, and one which has been around in some variation since just before I wrote a story about it last year. I'll start with this one and tell you the other next time. I can't stop thinking about some situation where a group of guys, about 7-20, are all lounging around in a room and are all naked and stroking their huge cocks and talking about their nastiest desires about wanting to gangfuck children. There's a woman in her late 20's or early 30's and she's the wife of one of the guys. She's working her way around all the guys, sucking their cocks and fucking some of them. She's also the mother of the 3 month old baby girl that's covered in cum in the middle of the room. She's talking nasty, encouraging all the guys to get up and cum all over her whore of a baby, to spit on the baby slut, etc. The woman takes cum in her mouth, cunt and ass and empties her holes onto her baby as well, squatting over her and letting the fuckslop run from her cunt and ass, drooling and spitting the cum blown into her mouth. "We only bred her to be a fuck toy" the woman says as she pushes one of her baby daughters cum soaked limbs up her cunt and fucks herself with it, making all the guys rush over and cum on her again. This goes on all evening and night until the guys literally can't get hard anymore, having each cum several times and literally filled a bucket. The mother cleans up with her mouth, filling a couple of baby bottles with the mixed cum, licking her babycunt clean and sucking down the cum dregs off of the floor and from the container that her daughter was in before falling asleep with her sticky baby in her arms and her husband and a few of his mates pissing on them both. I also have the same fantasy but in a warehouse and 100+ guys. Well I hope this has been a decent start to your view inside the head of Mr Shade. If you have any fantasies you want to share or you have any questions or anything at all you'd like me to address here on this "blog", or you'd just like a chat about anything sexual, then please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. The idea is to add more and more to this page as time goes by, so bookmark it and check back every now and then!